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Thursday nights

mommaofmany's picture

Good afternoon everyone,

I am new to this site as well as being a soon to be SM. My fiance and I have 6 kids together. I have 4 Biological and he has 2. Only 1 of his children live near by so he has the ability to have her on Thursday nights from 6-8. Thursday nights all 4 of mine go to they BF. I understand him wanting some "date" nights with his BD, but at same time it bothers me. I do not take my children out for date nights, if we go out we go as a family. I find myself getting upset on Thursdays because he takes her out to eat or whatever every Thursday. We do not (very very rarely) go out to eat, it is expensive to feed 7 people, I get it. I cook every night after working 50+ hours a week, we sit down as a family 99% of the time together. I also, want to teach my children that we are a family, we are merging as one and water can be as thick as blood. I understand, his BD isnt with us as much due to custody arrangement (standard possesion) and would be fine if they had a "date" once a month on Thursdays. I fight with it because the last thing I want is to be jealous of the kids relationship, but at the same time it sucks. He rarely has time for or desire to go on a date with me..... HELP.... advice.....anything.... am I the only one who has felt this way?

Stepped in what momma's picture

Is it his money he is spending or is it your money he is spending to take her out?

Stepped in what momma's picture

This is probably exactly the way your SO feels about his time with his kid, time is way more valuable.

MelAnn's picture

My fiance and I have 3 kids between us. My arrangement with my children's father is week on/week off. My fiance has his daughter every Tuesday/Thursday and every other weekend. Every Thursday it's just he and his daughter. So one week it's me and my kids on Thursday and the other week it's me by myself on Thursdays. I struggle all of the time with the fact we say we are also trying to blend (we are getting married in May) but then I feel bad that it bothers me because I feel they should have some time together..........but every Thursday? I like having a little time to myself but it would be nice to be included once in awhile. So - I wish I had advice, but all I have is understanding.

Acratopotes's picture

I don't get parent and child date nights, really I don't...

You do not date your child, believe me if SO tells me he's going on date night with his daughter I will be gone,

Simply sit your BF down and say, parents do not date their children, you can get once a month for going to the movies or what ever, but stop calling it date night and it will not be a weekly thing. Your daughter eats out weekly, you never take me on a date, I do not like this....

If he keeps this up, all I can say is Hon, do not get married, keep your options open, keep your money separate
and make sure you have a strong savings nest...

Rags's picture

:? Date night with a kid???? :? :? :? :? :? :?

Date nights are for the spouses. I get a daddy daughter dance at school or a mother/son school event. But a "date" night on a regular basis... Nope.