Sex obsessed SS
10 year old SS has seemingly overnight gone from sweet to out of control.
These are the phrases I overheard yesterday while he was hanging out/playing video games with his friend (who apparently is also out of control).
"Suck my wiggly d*ck"
"F*ck you"
"Suck my skinny d*ck"
... amongst other colorful language.
The only time DH addressed it was when SD tattled on her brother, then DH told SS and friend "we do not swear in this house." That worked beautifully. eye roll.
Is that normal from a 10 year old? He is so into sex talk lately, he announced that he knew what a condom was a few weeks ago. He also gets a kick out of the dogs humping (they are both fixed but it happens once in awhile.)
Gross. Just gross. I don't even know how to address it. ew.
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DH would knock his son into
DH would knock his son into next week if he talked to him like that girl talked to her mother.
SS likes to talk like this when he thinks no one is listening. Doesn't make it okay.
That girl is pretending to be a "hard" chick. What she needs is someone to cash her outside and show her she isn't as tough as she thinks she is.
Yeah. I just messaged DH to
Yeah. I just messaged DH to pay attention to SS's language today if his friend comes over (snow day) and to correct any talk like that. Seemingly overnight he changed... he switched schools and it was like a different kid all of a sudden.
Yup. That kid is a punk and
Yup. That kid is a punk and going to be troubled, he has way too much internet freedom and looks up to all the wrong kids.
Not my problem. But I do not like to hear about wiggly dicks.
I think that term is just so
I think that term is just so loosely used with some young people that you could almost compare it to something like "shut up." Which is sad. I know video games (connected online with a headset) is a major problem. He is exposed to people of all ages cussing at a screen.
I see the connection with rape-culture and I also see how it can be considered so common place, a "boys will be boys" thing, that some might disagree. Just the divided world we live in.
Morri, I had never thought
Morri, I had never thought about it that way before. I seriously had a light bulb moment.
Rape is about power and control and ordering someone to perform a sexual act is a way of degrading them. I can definitely see how these types of sayings are a part of rape culture. While the person may not mean it literally, they are essentially trying to establish dominance and shame someone by using sexual language.
I say this with all sincerity... Thank you for pointing this out.
This kind of talk is other
This kind of talk is other wise known as "locker room" talk.
Hahahaha I couldn't resist it. Next time you hear him saying it tell him you're going to grab him by the pu**y and then whip his as*.
Oh my I am on a roll today, cracking myself up.
TEN!?? He either needs new
TEN!?? He either needs new friends, new parents or a new bar of soap for his mouth.
SS18 was (apparently) sex crazed around that age, since BM2 told DH that she was buying condoms for him at age 11, BUT the kid was never heard (at least at my house) speaking like your SS. That's crude, rude and unacceptable and it's unacceptable for your DH to just blow it off. I'd lose my shit on all of them
It is so disgusting the whole
It is so disgusting the whole new found interest in sex. I am nervous about the next few years when his hormones are raging. It is really uncomfortable for me, I didn't address the suck my d*ck comments because I felt so awkward even overhearing it.
I vote for the bar of soap,
I vote for the bar of soap, my mom's weapon of choice when we were kids.
Irish Spring. Can still taste it in my mouth all these years later. Told DH he couldn't use it anymore when he moved in - lol!!
i got ivory soap. that was
i got ivory soap. that was gross but i believe irish spring would be worse...
My parents were hitters. I
My parents were hitters.
I think I was threatened with soap, but no follow through.
It was..
It was..
I agree with the bar of soap,
I agree with the bar of soap, though if it happens again you can use my grandma's method - LIQUID dawn dish soap applied directly to the tongue. That lingers.
Since you said his friend was the same way, I think this is a case of showing off in front of the friend and playing off each other. Both boys would have lost access to the video games and sent outside. Any lip from the boys would have resulted in the friend going home and chores for SS10.
If DH doesn't put a stop to
If DH doesn't put a stop to it, I'm sure he'll be hearing from SS's teachers at school. That kind of language slips out in middle school and he'll be sent to the office, and he's lucky if that's all the punishment he gets. I would embarrass him and give him an uncomfortable sex talk to make it stop LOL
"Now SS, I know you're interested in sex because your body is starting to change...."
You know how it goes. That should shut him up for a while.
Let me guess--he's playing an
Let me guess--he's playing an MMORPG.
So let's just say talking like this is on the range of normal in gaming culture. They say some crude stuff, especially since the ages of people playing usually ranges from 10-50. So he may say he's playing with friends but he's likely picking this stuff up from strangers on the internet.
In college, I got into MMORPGs and I'm going to confess that my language was not the best when yelling at the opposite team.
I would limit his playing or let him know he can play only if he doesn't say/type stupid stuff.
I have had 11 year olds also
I have had 11 year olds also and I promise YOU my bios did not utter those words.
"WOW ss, where did you hear that at" would be MY question if I heard it in my house. Right in front of dh. In the most calm tone I could muster.
Many things my dh handled with the skids. IT is all stop when skids involved my bio's. That is when I did not keep silent.
What does your ex think about his child being talked to by dh's kid?
So when you heard this
So when you heard this language you didn't march in there and turn off the game informing SS that it was time for his friend to go home because SSs language is unacceptable? Why not? You live there. You hear this crap and you allowed it letting SD be the bearer of bad news to DH. Grow a pair and take charge. So what if SS gets cranky. His friend is sent home and SS is disconnected from his game.
If DH makes a fuss just tell him that kind of language is unacceptable. Would he like to hear some guy talking to his daughter like that? Just because the context is different?
Me being me would have told him re the humping dogs ... You think that is funny? Imagine what your mom and dad looked like when they made you?
This is the best comment I've
This is the best comment I've heard on this topic so far! Maybe it's because I'm a new SM to a relatively young SD, but I don't really get how this whole disengaging thing works. I understand the concept, but this just sounds like losing control in your own home and trying not to care. Good luck with that!
I totally get that as SMs we are NOT responsible for parenting our Skids. I try to equate myself to a teacher at school and demand the same respect and authority. Just like you must listen to your teacher at school, you must listen to me while in my home. You wouldn't say those things at school in front of a teacher, do NOT say them in my home in front of me.
DH needs to correct this
DH needs to correct this urgently or it will get worse...
SS is the age where they think they are cool, they hear it in school from the older kids and they are following... cause it's cool.