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My pets, MY RULES!

Hellogoodbyemoon's picture

Ive had horses since I was a toddler.

My father got me (my) first pony when I was six. Its an absolutely amazing way to teach kids to be responsible, compassionate, and to overcome fears and obstacles without giving up. Its hard but so rewarding.

When we were first dating i took his daughter out to meet my horse, thinking it would be a thing we could bond over. WRONG! She was full on screaming at the top of her lungs (spooking my horse btw) because he approached the fence then hysterically laughing when she saw his reaction, complaining about the smell, the bugs, etc. I refuse to take her back out with me anymore. Fast forward a year, she begs to go back out, says she'll do better blah blah blah. Okay. Fine.

I take her out, more cautious this time because i don't want my horse stressed out. He's standing at the gate and she has her hand out flat with a carrot like i told her, the SECOND he reaches for the carrot she screams bloody murder. Of course my horse spooks and then HERE.COMES.THE.LAUGHTER.

She said she thinks its funny when he jumps around (bucking) and wanted to see him do it again.

Fast forward a couple months til this past weekend. She says she wants to go see the horse again because her friend from school likes horses. I told her there is absolutely no way I will EVER take her with me to my barn again. She threw a temper tantrum, full on screaming and crying. Begged her daddy to "make me", thankfully he stood up for me AND punished her for her outburst. She cried for an hour. I didnt care. I dont care. I have nothing to give to a child that thinks its funny to scare or hurt an animal.

Hellogoodbyemoon's picture

She is nine years old, turning 10 in September. Absolutely no reason for this behavior besides the fact she finds it funny, which is disgusting to me.

Hellogoodbyemoon's picture

I absolutely did. She had a full understanding on what you should/shouldnt do around horses, why they react the way they do, etc. Even some adults have a hard time with getting acclimated to horses so i didn't have huge expectations of her. I realize these huge animals can be intimidating and i understand fear, but this was not fear. This was enjoyment at the reaction of scaring him after she knew she was scaring him. Also, I'm married to her father now.

SugarSpice's picture

sounds to me its not a matter of understanding animals. the skid is mean, spoiled brat.

the skids joy in scaring the horse was obvious in the OP.

sunshinex's picture

Wow reading the description my thoughts jumped to 2 or 3 lol. She sounds unpredictable as hell like a small toddler... There's no way i'd let her around a horse, cat, dog, etc. either if she didn't know how to behave! My SD is only 5 and knows to quietly approach the cats. No yelling, running, even speed walking near them or they'll run away. She understands and very rarely needs a reminder to go slow with animals.

Hellogoodbyemoon's picture

Haha, that gave me a good laugh because yeah, that was pretty much his reaction!

I have no problem with a child being legitimately afraid of these huge animals, but this was literally baiting him and then scaring him on purpose. Plus this was done to my face, i cant imagine what she would try behind my back. I have two Belgian Malinois that have to get put up in the backyard during her time at our house because she's "afraid of them". Now I'm starting to rethink that too! My dogs were privately trained and NEVER have an issue with anyonr before, now im thinking she's been taunting them! Im definitely going to keep my eye on it now.

sunshinex's picture

Sounds to me like she's never been taught how to approach animals. When SD was 2-3 she wasn't the best.. she'd always run around yelling and chasing the cats but we repeatedly said "NO you have to go slow. you have to calm down. kitties like calm people." and it didn't take too long for her to come around. Now they'll sit on the couch cuddled up to her and she knows, even though she's 5, that unpredictable behaviour is scary to animals. She calms right down whenever she's near any animal.

I'm not sure if 9 years old is too late to learn this. I'm surprised no one in her life taught her before. Has she not had any animals in her life? Or did people just let her be a terror to them and never thought to fix it? All kids suck with animals when they're super young but you're supposed to teach them! lol

Hellogoodbyemoon's picture

Not reguarly, as far as i know. She had a kitten at her mother's but it died (never got an explanation of how). I don't know, it just really put me off. There was an obvious maliciousness to her behavior, it wasnt wonderment or curiosity. Kind of freaked me out, honestly.

sunshinex's picture

"She had a kitten at her mother's but it died."

Umm... You should inquire about this for sure

CLove's picture

Two Belgians???? Sorry Im distracted - I was mom to a Belgian Tervuren. They are the BET ever (of course I am biased). He was a bit nippy with me, as a puppy, but he gentled out very quickly and was fabulous. Of course when I played with him, he would growl and look extremely fierce, showing his beautiful white teeth. That might scare a clueless child. But my SDs, to their credit, are excellent with critters big and small, and have had critters in their life of all types. My only complaint with them, is with our large dog, the SD17 thinks its cute when he jumps up on her, or when he jumps on the furniture, or with her geriatric dog she'd had previously, not taking care of her. And SD10, she never really spends time or feeds her hamster and bunny. But they are very and gentle and respectful.

Sorry to hear of your beleaguered horse being baited like that. Lets hope she grows out of it, and those nasty horrid trantrums too!

SugarSpice's picture

sd know how much you love your dogs and horses and she is trying to manipulate you. its wise to keep an eye on her and never let her near your pets unsupervised.

Hellogoodbyemoon's picture

Thanks MorriMom!

I told one of my girls i lesson with about the temper tantrum and she said the same thing, she is well old enough to know better and to know what she is doing is not okay. Especially after I've fully explained it.

Its just not worth freaking my horse out.

Hellogoodbyemoon's picture

Oh, trust me, it took every ounce of willpower not to just pop her in the mouth! And trust me, he's no bombproof trail or lesson pony either.

Trust between horse and rider is a fluid, living thing that is very special. It something that has to be worked on and maintained and ill be damned if i make my boy headshy or wary for her.

Also, we just started hunt seat lessons again (i want to start foxhunting) and am very excited.

Peridwen's picture

Nope. Nope. Nope. You're doing the right thing. And I was terribly mean to my horse. I made him walk up to fire hydrants that might eat him, and stand when the raging bicycle charged him, and cross the swirling vortex of terror called 'puddle'. And mean as I am I wouldn't let your SD near my baby!

Hellogoodbyemoon's picture

Every. Time.

Just like a very large puppy. Try having a grey, never clean.

Despite having to break him of an intense nipping issue when i first got him (he was very girthy), he has great ground manners now.

Peridwen's picture

Oh he thought mud was fun, just not water. He JUMPED a trickle of water from a hose. Hated baths. Bathing was a three person job. One to hold treats/halter, two to scrub and hose as fast as possible. I had planned on training him for competitive trail/endurance. The water was a major challenge I was just starting to overcome. It's probably a good thing that I got pregnant and rehomed him since I don't know that he would have gotten over it. His current owner is using him for poles and barrels while her niece uses him for 4H. He looks fat and sassy in his pictures.

Peridwen's picture

It's funny because we set off road flares around him and he just snorted, ignored the gunshots completely, but that fire hydrant was terrifying.

Hellogoodbyemoon's picture

Hano's are beautiful! I love their attitudes.

I saw a meme on Instagram that cracked me up, it said:

Horses use their eyes, ears and mouth to express their mood. They also communicate their feelings by freaking out, kicking you and stomping your ass into the ground.

Peridwen's picture

Always a good idea to trust the animals. They don't get blinded by love like we do. Smile DH managed to pass both the dog and Arab test so we kept him around, though Mr. Jai (Arab) was suspicious. Levi, my big goofy Newf who was terrified of men completely abandoned me and stuck to DH like glue. I was shocked since it took my own Dad a couple of weeks to be allowed near him and Levi flopped on his back and snuggled up to DH the first time they met.

Well now I'm feeling a little sad, cuz I miss those boys so much. Even though I still get pictures of Jai, and his owners know that if they ever can't keep him I want him back, he's happy and cared for at his new home. He wasn't happy without a job when I was pregnant and BS4 was born. And Levi crossed the rainbow bridge a couple of years ago.

But I wouldn't have had life without them. Loved them dearly and I have many happy memories from both.

Tuff Noogies's picture

smelly??? oh NO i LOVE horse smell!

i've never had much opportunity around them, but i have always loved them. turns out my grandmother (who died long before i was born) had a strong affinity for them!

Cover1W's picture

I grew up on a horse farm. We had 14 at one point I think (Morgans). Grew up riding. Liked them a lot and yes grew up having to take care of my own hard labor and all from a young age. I'm pretty tough physically and so is my sister. I eventually grew out of it but my sister and my niece continue to ride and I'll go with them now and again when I visit.

I was bucked off really badly and scared when I was about in third or fourth grade and from then on had a couple dog-horses (ha!). One was a big old appy who was lickiest horse! He'd lick you for several minutes before and after riding and was the greatest lazy guy. Super sweet and earned my trust in horses back.

My last horse was a chubby bay mare who just moved to be petted, hugged and talked to. I used to just lay on her as she grazed. She took good care of me and I still miss her.

The SDs have had a chance to ride too. SD13 hated it, too dirty too smelly, too much work. Sd10 loved it and even had a real lesson. She's good. They both had talks about horses prior and if any had acted like OPs SD I would have yanked them out of there so fast they wouldn't know what happened.

Hellogoodbyemoon's picture

I love appys! I rode a few spot that was an absolute nutcase but tons of fun.

But yes, it was actually quite embarrassing with the other boarders looking(quite alarmed) at me with this large screaming/laughing child. My horse subsequently spooking off. Nope. No, thank you. I pay good money here.

Hellogoodbyemoon's picture

I love appys! I rode a few spot that was an absolute nutcase but tons of fun.

But yes, it was actually quite embarrassing with the other boarders looking(quite alarmed) at me with this large screaming/laughing child. My horse subsequently spooking off. Nope. No, thank you. I pay good money here.

Hellogoodbyemoon's picture

There are several "blue mooners" that rent paddock board at our barn but ive never seen any of them be actively mean or indifferent to their ponies. Thats horrible but I'm so glad you were able to show Chelsea kindness, too many abused horses never regain that trust.

The love of horses is definitely in my blood, they've always been magical and special to me, even as a small child. Thats why I'm so bothered by it, i just can't wrap my mind around a young girl purposely wanting to scare my animal.

To answer your question, no she hasn't. Although i won't deny ive wanted to mention it to her father.

Hellogoodbyemoon's picture

There are several "blue mooners" that rent paddock board at our barn but ive never seen any of them be actively mean or indifferent to their ponies. Thats horrible but I'm so glad you were able to show Chelsea kindness, too many abused horses never regain that trust.

The love of horses is definitely in my blood, they've always been magical and special to me, even as a small child. Thats why I'm so bothered by it, i just can't wrap my mind around a young girl purposely wanting to scare my animal.

To answer your question, no she hasn't. Although i won't deny ive wanted to mention it to her father.

Salems Lot's picture

That is nuts. I would not let her near those horses again.
I know 2 people who were around horses all their lives. Both were killed by their horses. One was a 15 year old girl, a friend of my niece. The other was a man in his 60's. The girl was killed by her horse that she rode most of her life when it was spooked as she was riding. The older man was transferring a new horse he had just purchased. As soon as he opened the back of the trailer, both hooves in the face.
Last year, a family friend at a horse pull ran out to grab a toddler and pushed her out of the way as a team of horses were spooked, broke loose from their handler and headed straight for her and her mother. The family friend got trampled but luckily survived.
I like horses. Some of my family members have horses. My grandson has been in riding lessons since he was 2 but I am very nervous around them.
To purposely scream at a horse to make it react like that at her age is uncalled for.

Is_What_It_Is's picture

She is old enough to know what she is doing - and the laughter! I can see her screaming while someone is on the horse and laughing hysterically when they are bucked. No way!

Good for you! Do not let her near the horse or the barn!

AJanie's picture

My animals come first. Skids second. Don't care how that sounds. Don't let her near the horse if she can't handle it.

smomofone's picture

oh hell no! That kid wouldn't come near my animals if it where me. EVER. I don't care how much she throws a fit either lol

SugarSpice's picture

your sd seems to perceive your horses as objects or playthings and not the living creature that theyare who deserve compassion and respect. i would never let sd around them again esp since she got some sick thrill of scaring the horses. no second chances.

a tantrum around an animal esp a large one or one with fangs is never acceptable. i dont even like idiots banging on the glass of fish tanks to scare the fish.

sd has no respect for living things and cruel to boot.

my skids are all lovey around the cat but make comments when they are around their friends about having kitty soup. if children dont respect animals they are hopeless.

Rags's picture

Next time make sure she is in the corral with the horse when she screams. The horse stomping on her a few times should be a great learning moment for her.

smh..... there should be an approved and legal method for disposing of toxic crotch nuggets ..... retroactive pregnancy termination after the fact .... or some such thing. This should be a life long right of a parent/sparent just so the kid knows that if they go toxic they can be made gone at a moments notice at any age.

Just kidding of course... at least for the most part.