ntm's picture

Those Darn Family Photos Again

Backstory: Family photos of MIL and FIL's entire family and then their individual children's families were taken for MIL/FIL 60th anniversary. The prints were extremely expensive. DH ordered four 5X7's of this family -- him, me, our DS10 and his two daughters, 18 and 22 (he was going to order three and I hopped in and said that if he was giving one to the daughters, he should be giving one to his son). He ordered one 5X7 of the entire family. He also ordered a bunch of wallets of the five of us to share with his extended family -- sisters, nieces, nephews. Total was $260. He presented me with a bill in which he was "willing" to pay $120 -- all he had in his bank account -- and my share was $140. WTF -- not my family!

So we've been in limbo ever since. We got $50 from his parents for our anniversary, and we each got $50 for Christmas. I dug out the anniversary money, gave him my Christmas money, and told him that he would need to put in his $50 Christmas money, put it in his bank account, and call the photographer to put it on his credit card from that bank (he can easily transfer the money over from savings to the credit card bill).

He looked at me like I had three heads. Then he went back to I wasn't contributing enough. That the $140 should come out of our joint checking account, which, I repeat, is only for standard, regularly occurring expenses. He was gifting himself and his daughters the 5X7's. Apparently the joint checking account, which we contribute to 60 (me) and 40 (him) was supposed to pick up everything else. SD10 was not being included in his ever so generous gifting to his children who don't have enough money to pay for the prints themselves.

No. Not my family, I didn't even like the photos, the photographer arranged the large group photo by family, but stuck our son, who is Ethiopian, in with the family whose father is from Cameroon, and WTF should I be paying for wallets to distribute to his family? We're not giving them to anyone in my family -- that wouldn't make any sense.

I replied that did this money not cover what he didn't have in his bank account? He said yes. I said, we're good then. I mean, honestly, I just turned over essentially $75, even more if you split incoming 60/40 like we do the outgoing.

It's been three weeks now. He still hasn't done anything about the photos. His niece asked me if we had wallets, so I brought it up again the other night. Again with the three heads look. Again with the "I thought our joint account was going to pay for the $140 I don't have." Reminder that I forked over $100 plus he had received $50 for Christmas, so it should be covered. Frankly, I should get $10 in change.

I think he spent that $120 that he "had" in his checking account on Christmas gifts for his daughters. And so he still doesn't have enough to pay the photographer. SD10 was within hearing, so I couldn't get into it.

So now here we are -- he has our anniversary money and my Christmas money and we have no photos.


lucy91's picture

The man had only 120 dollars

The man had only 120 dollars in his bank account and he is worrying about paying for photos? He has a lot more problems than that. Is he saving for retirement at least?

ntm's picture

His work pays a good chunk of

His work pays a good chunk of money into retirement, and he's worked there a bazillion years,so it's a pretty good figure. Why so little money in his checking account? Our state requires CS to age 21 unless the child self-emancipates. Which the 18 year old has not done. He should not have ordered the photos. I had no idea when he was doing it that he couldn't pay for it. "God forbid I want a photo of my family for my office!" was one of his crabby outbursts when we were talking about the money. Could have done that ourselves with a digital camera on a timer.

Aniki's picture

At this point, I wouldn't

At this point, I wouldn't mention the photos again. Let him bring it up and you give him the numbers. Again. SMH

—

"I feel like I'm reading food erotica. Fifty Shades of Aniki's Wine and Dinner." ~Gimlet

"I want him to appreciate the beauty of what I've done to him. I want him to know that I, Aniki, am the instrument of his demise!" ~Drac0

sueu2's picture

This blog that you posted and

This blog that you posted and the money you gave him are WAAYY more involvement than you should have contributed. You claimed now way and it's not your family, not your problem, but you still helped to pay for them. You should have washed your hands from the beginning and told him you didn't care to hear another word about it.

DanielleR's picture

Yep, this. Ask for your money

Yep, this. Ask for your money back and never speak of it again. If you want a photo, contact the photographer yourself and make your order. Ignore him completely on this issue.

downsouthinTX's picture

the photographer is up

the photographer is up charging.
if its $20 for an 8x10 shes probably paying $5-or less.

call the photographer and tell her that you are sorry and you can not pay for all the photos that were ordered by your husband. he does not have the funds to pay for them either. express that you wouldnt have an issue paying for them but given the fact that your child was placed with the wrong family is insulting and you wont be able to even use those pictures.

if there are a few you would like(of other poses maybe) offer to pay for those only.

i would bet that even if the photog has printed the pics she will be out less money or break even if you pay for and take only SOME of the photos.

Llilac's picture

"express that you wouldnt

"express that you wouldnt have an issue paying for them but given the fact that your child was placed with the wrong family is insulting and you wont be able to even use those pictures."

Yep especially this part!!

DaizyDuke's picture

No. I'd be pissed if I was

No. I'd be pissed if I was the photographer to get a call like this. If someone had a problem with this why didn't one of the TWO parents present, speak up then?? Saying this just sounds like a weasley way to get out of paying for a service you have already received. Yuck!

—

ღIt' all fun and games until someone doesn't pick up on the sarcasm ღ
ツ I wish I was as thin as my patience ツ

downsouthinTX's picture

the chaos was probably

the chaos was probably distracting them.
BIG family shoots are often crazy.

and OP and her hub didnt hire the photog. they were hired by someone else and OP and Hub(as well as other people there) had the option to purchase extra prints if they wanted from what the original customer wanted.
it was the photogs way of up selling.
OG customer hired and paid for their photos and said "eh if you want some pics taken too you can but you gotta order from the photog yourself"

i dont remember though if the OG customer wanted the big giant family pose that OPs DH is stuck on getting for his office.
if not, then i wouldn't have taken that shot at all.

DanielleR's picture

I agree, should have said

I agree, should have said something at the time and saying it is chaotic is no excuse. You lose your kid at the mall because it is chaotic? Telling the photographer after the fact is just passive aggressive BS. I would ignore someone that did this and block their number on my phone. Who has time for that nonsense?

downsouthinTX's picture

hey if the photog blocks her

hey if the photog blocks her number then she wont have to pay.
i dont think OP liked the photos or the style so i dont think shes will be wanting to use that person again.

sure its a crap move...but she can't afford the expensive pictures that were ordered by her husband anyways.
some photogs dont even print pics unless they have money or 50% of money in hand from the person who ordered.(because they have been burned by non payment before)
so the photog may not lose any money at all.

Cocktail..Hour..Please's picture

Your husband has no self

Your husband has no self respect. Very unattractive

—

smash a pineapple, smash some mint, boil some sugar in water, find some really good vodka, add some club soda....and there ya go. How to get thru step life.

Disneyfan's picture

Why not just order (and pay

Why not just order (and pay for) the photos you want of you,son and husband? (do you even want one with him at this point???) Then let him figure out on his own what he's going to do about the pictures he wants to order.

Even if it means covering his share of your package, that would be better than go over the same thing over and over and over and over.....

He knows damn well that what you are saying is true. He is just trying to bug/annoy you until you give in and do what he wants you to do.

DaizyDuke's picture

This^^^ Why would you not

This^^^ Why would you not pay for the photos you want of your son and then DH pays the rest? I can't seem to figure out what math he is using here?? The screw ntm formula??

—

ღIt' all fun and games until someone doesn't pick up on the sarcasm ღ
ツ I wish I was as thin as my patience ツ

ntm's picture

There are no photos of just

There are no photos of just DH, DS10 and me. Our family photo includes SD18 and SD22. That's the one he wants for his office and to gift to the SDs.

TwelveLongYrs79's picture

If anything, he should have

If anything, he should have ordered the 5X7 and left it at that. And been able to "afford it" without digging into your pockets for photos that you really didn't even want to begin with.
Or, you know...perhaps have ASKED you prior to ordering them, since he had not enough money to cover it.

—

Let me call the Wahhhhhbulance for you, dear.

Llilac's picture

"Again with the three heads

"Again with the three heads look. Again with the "I thought our joint account was going to pay for the $140 I don't have.""

Not about money but my husband does this as well and it drives me nuts. I can tell him something 500 billion times and he still acts like it's the first time he's heard it out of my mouth (if it's something he doesn't want to agree with). I think it makes me more angry than him arguing with me!

sunshinex's picture

All i can think when I read

All i can think when I read this is "ew how tacky" lol... Your DH is being kind of tacky as hell trying to get you to pay for photos of HIS family that you don't even care to have in the first place.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Just tell Captain Lame-o to

Just tell Captain Lame-o to return the money you gave him and tell him that obviously the two of you are unable to come to an agreement about the photos.

I so hate this invertebrate excuse for a spouse.

Gimlet's picture

Thank you for saying what I

Thank you for saying what I wanted to say.

—

"I'd rather have sex with a cactus." - Aniki

"I've figured out people tell you take the high road because that's easier than it is make the assholes behave." - FruitSalad704

"Steplife is transformative. Sort of like a crematorium, lol." - exjuliemc

Acratopotes's picture

LEssons learned... never give

LEssons learned... never give your money to him again... he wanted the photo's he can pay for it, over and done with, if he does not have the money so be it...

—

I will personally come glue your fingers together permanently - SuperJew

and that's for any stirrers