Clevergirlfriend99's picture

Having a rough few days

Not sure if it's perimenopause or what, but I've been wobbly emotionally for about a week. Saw a new gyn today and she says maybe we should ditch the IUD and go for oral BC to regulate the hormones. She's checking a few things and we'll decide next month.

I'm in a mode where I'm finding problems with my DH. I finally gave him a post nup to look over and he's not thrilled with a few things. Got a bit frosty with me and hasn't said a word on the topic since. It saddens me because many of the things I think he has a problem with include how a typical married couple would handle paying bills, saving, tackling debt and keeping debt under control. The wording also makes it clear that only the parent will support any of their children living in the home.

BM sent DH and I a joint text for the first time with a random picture. I gave her my cell number a few weeks ago in case of emergencies. That threw us both off - I don't think he knew she had my phone number.

Now, while I can see that DH has it on his Facebook profile that he's married to me, none of his friends can see it as I found out from a mutual friend. Yeah, I know it doesn't matter. Everyone who is anyone knows we're married. And any of his friends looking at his life events can see we are married. It just rubbed me the wrong way today because things are tense between us.

Ugh. I wonder if I have SAD or am just depressed.

uofarkchick's picture

So he hides his relationship

So he hides his relationship status? That is something you have to actually go in and do manually. Hm.

Clevergirlfriend99's picture

Well, he might have had it

Well, he might have had it hidden from a while back. We weren't Facebook friends for over a year until we got married last summer. It may be that he never changed it to make it visible and no one ever noticed until the mutual friend said something.

downsouthinTX's picture

so because your DH didn't

so because your DH didn't like your post nup and it made sense and even said everyone takes care of their own kids...you think that means theres something wrong with you?
to even go as far as going to the DR and change your birth control?

you didn't mention if you have other issues that would leave you believe its a YOU problem but only mentioned how DH has been under your skin.

Clevergirlfriend99's picture

The two aren't necessarily

The two aren't necessarily related. I've been grappling with hormonal issues for a good 1.5 to 2 years. It can really derail me and make me irritable about every little thing.

His reaction the post nup is 100% his problem because nothing in there was unreasonable and anything I asked for I was also willing to agree to.

downsouthinTX's picture

i am about to get my 3rd IUD

i am about to get my 3rd IUD this year. i havent had any issues. i am even keel all the time. SO says its one of the things he loves. but i know to each their own. i know it affects people differently. my friend has one and gets a 3 day period i have one and get no period for YEARS.

SO is snipped but i will keep getting IUD until DR tells me i can't.

CLove's picture

Sorry your having a rough

Sorry your having a rough day! Its been a tough year (and its only day 10!) so Im with you on that. Stress is a killer, and now with SD being a klepto, as well as pathological liar, its been extra tough.

A post-nup that deals with financials. That sounds very smart, and if he is the man you thought you married, he will accept it. And each person taking care of their own kids? Unless your incomes are extremely different, and you have a vast fortune, and he has nothing, I don't see why that would cause conflict. Im glad that you value yourself enough to do this for yourself. And kids.

Hope is a 4 letter word.

Clevergirlfriend99's picture

Trying to be smart - thank

Trying to be smart - thank you. And our incomes are quite close.

I think he is a good man. I think he's mostly resistant to having any constraints placed on him when it comes to his children. I think he wants to be able to max out his credit or co-sign loans for his kids without my input. That is where I feel he's most resistant.

Llilac's picture

Be careful with oral birth

Be careful with oral birth control. It makes me very sensitive and a bit crazy. I had such a rough time with the last one I don't think I'll ever use it again. If you're just going through a funk it might not be a good thing to mess with your body chemistry? Now if it's something long term that is a different story.

The Facebook status thing...my DH who is very in love with me and very proud to be married to me somehow had his status private on Facebook. I think it was from long, long ago when he was with BM. A lot of people leave those things private. When he found out he went in and changed it. It doesn't have to be a big deal. Maybe you're just being sensitive because you're having a rough time? Personally I think it was weird for your friend to notice and go out of their way to tell you.

Can you go out and do something nice for yourself? Get a pedicure or a facial? Go buy yourself a cute outfit or shoes?

Acratopotes's picture

welcome to the club

Sticking out tongue Sticking out tongue Sticking out tongue welcome to the club Clevergirl.....

yes it's all hormones, but at least you know why it's happening so you can deal better with it.

google herbal remedies for menopause, pms, depression, and see what's available in your town,

I went onto postoval about 3 years ago - pre menopause BC (funny I know cause I can't get pregnant and I am on BC)
first year it was great, I was normal again, slowly it went down hill and my weight went uphill....
I've decided now to stop using it, sorry to be SO... he's in for allot of crap but I gained enough weight....

Oh and I stopped drinking 8 cups of coffee a day, only on one cup and rest is water or green tea, also stopped having red wine, for some reason red wine made me a cry baby... I only drink whisky on the rocks...

Then it's important to have some me time and do something you like, knitting, reading what ever, just an hour a day does wonders for the mind and soul......

I will personally come glue your fingers together permanently - SuperJew

and that's for any stirrers

sanecatlady's picture

Depending on your age I have

Depending on your age I have read that BC pills can increase other problems... So you may want to check on that with your Dr. Also, IUD - I have had friends on it with no issues. However when I worked in registration in the ER, on average once a week there were ladies coming in with pain/other issues related to the IUD. Is there a chance you can get "regulated" with something besides that? I've been on the pill for years and I am ready to get off of it. I get nauseated every time after I take it and other side effects. I'm just waiting on DH to finally get snipped!

Good for you for getting your paperwork together - Although it would be a red flag for me if someone I was married to had issues with a financial document that concerned the both of us!

Also, stay off of Facebook Eye-wink

Clevergirlfriend99's picture

Good advice about Facebook.

Good advice about Facebook. It is the devil. LOL

I asked the Dr. about risks at my age (fifties) - she said as long as I don't smoke and don't have high blood pressure, oral BC is not a problem. She said studies have shown the weight gain issue with it is a myth but it may lower my libido.

The biggest drawback is taking a pill every day. But, for most of my adult life I used oral BC without an issue.

Hoping to get the post nup resolved in the next couple of weeks so I can execute my will.

Tarabithashiqua's picture

Honestly, I have my fb

Honestly, I have my fb setup in a similar manner... you can see my relationship status, but you can't see with whom. This is to protect my partner from being harassed by any exes or enemies from my past, etc. I feel that it's important to let ppl know that I'm taken, but it's not really important who I'm taken by.

Honesty without compassion is hostility