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Drum Rollll Pleaseeeee.....

BSgoinon's picture

And, she didn't show up.

She did call in. Said she had "car trouble". Me thinks she had "I look like a meth head" trouble.

So the mediator immediately asked what she thought she was going to get out of this. She said "I just want a relationship with my son, he won't talk to me". The mediator basically just let them go back and forth because they were both remaining calm. At one point he asked about her rehab and she told him she was in the hospital blah blah blah. He wanted to know why she didn't re-enroll, that was over a month ago. Some lame excuse.... then says "but I am going to NA meetings". The mediator then begins to go on a little tangent about his own experiences with recovery and tells her while NA is a great follow up tool, it is important for her to go to rehab and fix the root issues that caused the addiction in the first place. NA holds you accountable, but rehab cleans you up. She was complaining that her calls were blocked at times, and that she was blocked from SS's instagram. DH told her, her calls are NOT blocked, his phone is restricted during homework time. Don't call during homework time and it will ring. And HE blocked you from his instagram. So...

Long story short, the only thing that was accomplished was the mediator added in to the paperwork that neither party is to request mediation until her rehab is complete. DH remains with full physical and legal custody. And supervised visits are still in place at SS's discretion. She was crying, audibly. DH was smiling. I was ready to get out of there, we celebrated by buying a new truck LOL. Actually we were doing that anyway, we just went and picked it up after we left the courthouse. And had a nice evening alone, since we don't get those often with having SS full time.

So she basically wasted everyone's time because she wanted to know how to fix her relationship with SS.

Comments

justanothergurlNJ's picture

I am happy they left the little visitation she has up to your SS. He is wise beyond his years and will make his choice based on what HE feels is in his best interest!

--figureditout--'s picture

Glad it went well, and that things are staying the way they are.

Side note....NA does not keep one accountable. I go to AA during the week and NA on Sunday because we consider alcohol to be a drug as well. I have been in meetings with people who are high and or drunk who pick up their toeken. I have witnessed drug deals in the parking lot.

BSgoinon's picture

Yeah, every time someone talks about NA, I think about that story line in Breaking Bad where the dealers go to NA meetings to sell to them.

uofarkchick's picture

I am very happy that neither she nor MM showed up. And that is awesome that things were done over the phone.
What a coincidence that she is going to NA where no one will confirm or deny her presence there. They take the anonymity part VERY seriously.

BSgoinon's picture

DH brought that up. Great that you are going to meetings, but there is no way to track that. No proof.

clark6292's picture

I have experience with this topic. I was in your position years ago. I always said that BM (pill popping addict) was equivalent to radiation requiring time, distance and shielding to protect ourselves and skids. The story didn't end well though, so be vigilant demanding that supervised custody for BM is the only SAFE option. By age 15, the courts allowed my SS a one week unsupervised visit with addict BM. My SS never returned home- he was found face down unresponsive on his mothers bedroom floor from Oxycontin overdose. You cannot and should not trust the courts to make the best choice they are far too liberal. And, even if BM is a huge addict your skid still loves his BM (which was hard for me to understand since she was absentee and a flaky addict for most of his life.) Keep fighting the good fight! Hopefully you have a happier ending.

BSgoinon's picture

OH my goodness, that is horrible. I am so sorry.

Right now SS doesn't even want to see her for supervised visits, I can't imagine him wanting to spend any time alone with her any time soon. Hopefully he stay my sweet, smart boy for a long time.

BSgoinon's picture

This is the same order that has been in place, so he will take it well. But he was at his grandpas house yesterday so he doesn't know yet.

RayRay's picture

Sounds like good news. Our BM usually is "in the hospital" when court date arrives. Seeking drugs and what have you. I am impressed she at least called and that the mediator did their job well.

So_Annoyed's picture

This sounds sooo familiar. Have been down this road. Actually on this road still, but at a standstill.

Lets see, BM was ordered to go to rehab for meth/substance abuse, if she wanted to see SD13. That was 2 years ago. She has not done as required. DH has all custody. BM has not seen SD in over 2 years, and SD refuses to speak to her on the phone (for 1+ years now). BM still refuses to go to rehab as the judge required her to. She still calls DH's phone, he still ignores her most of the time. She begs him to "forget about the law, just do what is in your heart and let me see my baby". I want as little to do with any of this as possible. I've had enough of it all, and had more than enough of BM and SD drama.

Maxwell09's picture

I am glad it's over and done with and they put in there she can't ask for another mediation until she's sober or at least sober long enough to get through rehab which I never see happening. Now the inner Christian part of me hopes she will take this as her rock bottom, get sober and learn how to be a REAL, good mom to SS because he doesn't deserve to have worthless mother baggage so early on in his life; now the realistic part of me hopes she'll finally give up and let the kid live the rest of his life in peace as she's already done enough damage. The kid has you and his dad and while he might, big might, have a change of heart in his late teens, I hope she's long gone by then.