BM and steps sharing a bed
I'm just looking for some outside views;
My husband found out yesterday that his 3 kids (SD9,SD11, and SS15) are all sharing a bed when at her house. It is a 3 bedroom house, and up until now, we always thought the 2 girls shared a room and SS had his own. My husband and I think this is not only strange, but immoral. I already think his ex is mentally unstable because of what she does to us and the way she manipulates the children, but this is very upsetting.
SS told my husband that all of there beds are "trashed" or broken. My husband is in the same business as his ex, they both work on commission and he knows approximately how much money she makes, she does very well financially. So that is not the reason for having no beds. She can afford new ones.
sounds like BM has a
sounds like BM has a co-dependent relationship with her kids. I have a friend like this. She sees nothing wrong with sharing a bed with all her kids, they are all teenagers. She's been carrying on with this behavior since they were little. She was still bathing with her daughter until she was 12 years old.
I would ask the Mom in a
I would ask the Mom in a public place for safety reasons, BM is it true you have daughters 9 and and 11 AND son age 15 sleeping in the same bed? Do you want to tell me about that?
I've actually thought about
I've actually thought about doing this. When I have confronted her before about the way she verbally abuses the children, she just punishes them more. They were threatened before not to tell us anything that goes on at her house. They have been threatened before going to the court ordered counseling sessions too. Seems like everyone is afraid of this woman even her own family.
I think co sleeping is just
I think co sleeping is just fine. Up to a certain age. I would not blink an eye about the 9 and 11yr old. BUT A 15 YEAR OLD!!! AND A BOY! Gag. That is extremely weird.
I'd get the kids to a
I'd get the kids to a therapist and call cps on her. That's gross and how uncomfortable.
His children told him. All
His children told him. All came from a story that the youngest(SD9) said the oldest (SS15) gave her a bloody nose. When my husband asked them about it together, it came out while they were telling the story, she woke up had a bloody nose, he must of done it because he was getting up at the same time...
There are always stories, sometime the truth comes out.
She refuses to communicate with me in anyway. She hates me and has no problem letting anyone and everyone know it. If I were to send her an email about it, she will punish the kids, it has happened before. She does something I don't like,(like calling the youngest a traitor when she was 6), I tell her about it, they get punished.
Time call CPS and get BM in
Time call CPS and get BM in the system. Lather, rinse, repeat for anything she does that doesn't pass the smell test.
My friend was ordered by the
My friend was ordered by the court to have separate beds for her son and daughter. She was ordered to have a minimum 2 bedroom apartment. She and her ex did not go to court over that issue, but it was brought up when CS was being modified. She had no problems complying, but I thought it was interesting that someone cared enough to make sure it was ordered. Her kids at the time were around 6 and 9. My friend was in a bad place mentally at the time, and voluntarily gave primary custody to her ex and had her kids eowe and one evening a week. Her ex was already remarried and had a nice home, so she got an apartment in the same town so she could be close by and involved in all their activities.
That all said, since the court specified how many bedrooms and beds she needs to have, the BM here is skating on thin ice. It sounds like she could be ordered to fix the sleeping arrangements if she won't voluntarily do it.
IF you call cps be sure they
IF you call cps be sure they are not buddy buddy with bm or anyone in her family / extended family.
Now IF a dad did this, well all heck would have been broken loose. Add if DAD slept with his teen girls or boys well I hate to think where that man would be today JAIL.
Encourage SSto complain about
Encourage SSto complain about sleeping with his mother and maybe mention it at school....
then sit back and watch the storm breaking over BMs head
My SD12 shares a bed with her
My SD12 shares a bed with her mom, has to some degree the entire time I've been with my husband (4+ years). It has created huge issues for us, as SD has developed a separation anxiety of sorts in that she can not be alone, EVER. She wakes at our house, finds herself alone in her bed/room and comes banging on our door looking to be comforted. We have never allowed her to sleep with us and DH never goes to sleep with her. Now the claim is she doesn't sleep with mommy every night, only if she get really scared and can't go back to sleep, but my guess is that happens more often than not.