SS was about 16 and I found a condom wrapper in the dryer. He told DH he was not having sex he was just trying them on. LOL!!!

I would have rather he just say he was having protected sex than sitting in his room trying on condoms. lol

YSD told me I had to wipe her butt when she was 5. It was on the first outing I went on with his girls when we were dating. I tell every one of her boyfriends that story. heheh evil step mother of doom.

She also told me she wanted to go on BCP for "cramps".. uh no, you want to play nekid games with that tool you are chasing.. I mean dating.

One time years ago when SS10 was with us, I hadn't had time to make dinner and just microwaved some of those preformed breaded veal patties. A little gravy, some veg, and that was dinner - don't judge. Anyway, because we didn't want to tell him he was eating baby cow, I told him it was aardvark. He thought it was delicious, and blabbed to other relatives that I'd served him aardvark. That took some explaining.

"Daddy, there's a party in my tummy!!"

SD said when she was about 3 after drinking some slurpee.

If you've been to Africa before you will understand -

We have copper cable telephone lines, still over the country.... and we have the normal airwaves things for cell phones.
Now cell phones do not have reception every where... yeah I know it sucks....

We where driving somewhere but took a gravel back road, only the farm land line cables... Aergia was hanging out of the car and complained that her cell phone has no reception... SO explained to her about no reception tower thus cell phones will not work... that's land line cables.... We passed a stage where the cable got stolen, thus poles still there and no cable - I commented dry... oh look wireless.... Aergia screamed we should stop immediately (I had to pp any way) and she was trying to get her cell phone working again... she had a huge fit cause she could not pick up the wireless... SO looked stunned - he just explained for a frecking hour there's no cellphone reception... eventually he said... you do not have the password.... Aergia was 15 at the time, not a little kid anymore....

That was the day I realized - this kid has no life skills and no clue what life's about, if it does not revolve around her she's not interested... I disengaged,

The latest good one is that SS15 said he didn't know his mom was dating her current bf still.

BM is now pregnant by this boyfriend who has 5 kids.

SS is oblivious, but..... Come on. I guess we now knew why she won't ever switch weekends with us.

What else.... Oh, he claimed to not know the dog needed to go out to pee since she hadn't drank or ate yet...

He did tell people that I lived in a basement when it was just a split level house, and that I kept rabbits in my closet.

I had posted a while back about how my osd kids ages 5 & 7 out of the blue changed what they called me & my dh. They had always referred to us as "Papa J" and "Grandma Jam". My osd tells her dad that the kids decided to call us Grandpa & Grandma and gave some bs reason of how it was more endearing.

I know that osd's bm doesn't like hearing our name and that is the real reason to change what they call us. What is funny is apparently all the talk about what to call the grandparents backfired on osd's bm. She had bought a new car. A Fusion. The 5 year old tell's us that grandma bought a new car and goes on to say it is a Fusion. He then say's I guess I can call her the F.U grandma.

Personally I think referring to bm as the f.u grandma fits her perfectly

A 12 and 13 year old were the only ones in the group deserving presents, because they did not understand "charity." Of course, other children were present.

dumb@$$ never lets a man go, she just tries to keep stringing them along for her own personal gain. so she's still legally married to Mr Potato-Head to this day. anyhoooo, about 5 or 6 years ago, she started seeing New D!ck. while still living w/ and "happily" married to Mr Potato-Head. when she had custody of all 3 kids. she did not hide New D!ck from the kids either.

so one day the kids were over, and they were chatty about their mom being w/ two guys. oss says "the dumb HO needs to just PICK ONE. nasty."

it was all dh and i could do to hold ourselves together without busting a gut.

A little while back SD asked her dad if her mom was 'slow'. HA!

FDH said something like, 'you would think so'.

SD has also called her mom a biotch and annoying. I tell her that's not nice and that her mom just cares about and loves her.

I know SD just says these things when she's mad at her mom for something, or to make her dad feel good, but it's a little hard not to laugh at times since most of what she says is true. :O }:)

lol.

When my SS was 11 he went back to school shopping with his grandparents before starting Junior High. At that point in his life, he was obsessed with mustaches (they were really hipster) and anything that looked "vintage" especially vintage Tees. He called us excitedly from the store to tell us he found the PERFECT shirt for the first day of school...and it was on the Clearance rack for just $4! It was vintage and had a mustache on it!

We meet up with kids and grandparents at a restaurant to see the goods. The favorite T-shirt had a mustache on in and a sign underneath that read: "Mustache Rides 5-Cents"...like a vintage carnival ride sign. SS and granddad help it up proudly, clearly thrilled with their find. DH and I just looked at each other. SS went on and on about how he couldn't wait to wear it the first day of school.

Unfortunately, the shirt in question got lost in the wash that night. DH still has it in his drawer and we will likely bring it out at a rehearsal dinner sometime in the next 5-10 years...

But, seriously. Who makes a shirt like that in a Child's medium????