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How long did the Skids honeymoon last for?

zerostepdrama's picture

How long were you and the skids in the honeymoon stage for?

Any funny stories that you think about now- like WTF...but back in the honeymoon stage it was perfect Smile

What ended the honeymoon stage?

Comments

zerostepdrama's picture

Mine lasted about 4 1/2 months. Well with YSD and OSD right from the beginning they rubbed me the wrong way. Just their personalities and how they treated DH. MSD I really liked and got along with initially. But I think I did a good job of dealing with OSD and YSD and being "Okay" with them.

But yeah 4 1/2 months- at my family reunion- ugh- they ruined it. Long story, I'll have to post the story sometime. That is when I started to look at the skids differently.

From then on until 15 months until DH and I being together I could at least tolerate and deal with them in small doses though over that time my patience was wearing thin. But after June 2012- it was definitely over.

I remember telling DH when I first met his kids "I really like your kids." and him being like "Good, otherwise we couldn't be together. " Dirol I also remember when him and I were talking about marriage and moving in and he said "Well you know if we get a house, the girls will want to move in." And I remember feeling so confused by that. I wasn't opposed to it but I wasn't excited about it. It didn't feel right. But at the time I couldn't even figure it out or figure out my feelings. Thankfully that never happened. LOL. }:)

DaizyDuke's picture

Mine lasted about 1.5-2 years. I used to like skids at first. But then I started to see how terribly jealous they were of each other and how they treated DH like a wallet and they really didn't seem to care about him unless they wanted something or BM needed a baby sitter. Then they hit the tween ages and things rapidly deteriorated. Hell.. remember BM2 was giving SS condoms at 11, he was smoking dope, got caught shoplifting etc. and that's when I was out. At the same time SD12 was only calling DH when she wanted money for something, and she was acting like a straight up weirdo.

Nope. No need to be involved in trying to "fix" other people's bad parenting.

zerostepdrama's picture

Condoms at 11. That is my BS's age. He is in no way ready for the condom talk. WTF is wrong with her?

DaizyDuke's picture

She's got 99 things wrong with her... and being a good mother is NOT one of them!

I seriously thought DH was going to cry when she told him that. I really think that is the day he realized that there was no hope.

AJanie's picture

I actually looked forward to our time with the skids for about the first 6 months. After that... I look forward to the time without them. Actually, that is not entirely true. I have my moments where I enjoy hanging with them... but for a few hours... not days.

zerostepdrama's picture

I used to ask DH to invite the skids when we were planning something fun, even if it wasn't his weekend. :O

Exjuliemccoy's picture

It lasted about 1.5 years.

Then we married, and although I didn't notice it at the time, that's when SD changed. There's not a single picture of her smiling at our wedding, and she really distanced herself after that. She would spend time nearby with FIL and the in laws and never contact DH unless she wanted $$$. I worked 50-60 hours per week, and DH worked graveyard, which made seeing his kids regularly a challenge. DH just didn't put enough effort into his daughter when she was young, and so she has serious daddy issues.

Maxwell09's picture

Meh. I still like my SS5...but it probably has a lot to do with the fact he's only five and he's always lived with us majority of the time. Summer Time (50/50) is when I get frustrated with him and enjoy sending him off for weeks at a time.

Cover1W's picture

I went back to my first blog and I pinpointed things at just about 1.5 years together. That means we had been living together for about 1 year.

SD(now 12) was the primary instigator, I knew that then, and I understood the problem (DH allowing SDs to run all over him). I knew that before moving in with him and luckily I also discussed maintaining household standards of cleanliness and expectations of ALL.

Luckily it's not that chaotic any longer and I was able to assert some control and DH is much better than he used to be with the SDs; more involved...not enough but 10x better.

I've learned what to let go of and what I cannot let go of and how to talk with him about SDs (mostly never unless he brings it up).

I also know how to take time for myself...oh, gee, I have to run errands almost all day on Saturday...I'll make dinner but I won't be home really until Sunday. }:)

Disillusioned's picture

About two years, for OSD

With YSD, there never was a honeymoon stage really, but definitely with OSD she was just fantastic for the first two years. Apparently just loved me to death, made sure BM and her SO (SD's SF) knew this too

That all came to an end, but I don't think DH & I really saw the signs that there was a problem at first

OSD started with lots of attitude towards DH, but was fine with me. She would even complain to me about DH, oo make it known to me what she wanted/needed from DH instead of just communicating with her father better

But then the attitude started to be directed at both DH and myself, and very shortly after that, I was the target.

It got really bad at that point, especially because she had moved in with us full-time, had already been living with us for a solid year by then (previously it had been OEW) and so her attitude was really unbearable as it was 24/7

It finally all came to a head when, after trying her hardest to destroy the relationship DH & I had and failing (although she did some damage for sure) she gave DH an ultimatum: it was her or me.

When she didn't get her way she played that card...but it didn't last. We still see her at all family get together's etc.. and she still is out of line, but, we have a relationship of 'tolerance' at this point. And that works for me

onwednesdayswewearpink's picture

Probably the 5 months before I had to meet BM lol. But really it was about 7-8 years that sd and I were super close. We started dating before she was a year old so she has never known a time that I wasn't around. It was really around 9/10 that our relationship broke down... her relationship with DH was never super close so that didn't help. Now it's nonexistent.

Acratopotes's picture

I would not call it honeymoon stage - we got along great, for 2 years, BM just kicked Aergia out of her house one night round about 2am, we went to collect her with all her things on the side walk, she was 12.....

BM never phoned her or contacted her during those 2 years, I stepped up and treated her like I would treat Deigma...

Then out of the blue after 2 years BM calls her one night... everything went to hell.... Aergia started swearing at me and told me I'm not her mother (I never claimed to be I always told her BM will always be your mother maybe she just have it hard with all the babies - she will come around) 3 months later Aergia moved back to BM.... life was good for about 7 months.... BM kicked Aergia out at 3am one morning, SO went to collect her again on the side walk with everything... I moved out of the house 2 months later.... I fully disengaged.

Aergia played the poor me card, I don't have a mother... the whole family felt sorry for her and blamed me, till they found out she was talking crap - there was never a stage where she and BM did not have contact, they planned everything carefully till this day...... Aergia will sit and cry cause BM is ignoring her... but while she does this she will text BM - Acra is not falling for this anymore we need a better plan to get her out of Daddy's life

Countrymom's picture

Never had one. I knew from the get go that SS6 was a horrible behaving child. But I was naïve and had hope of helping and improving that. He was only 2 at the time and DH promised to change his parenting, which he did, he does 10 times better now than he did then, but he's still inconsistent and he started from pretty much not parenting at all. He took care of basic needs, but that was it.

I also did not realize how much of an influence BM's family and my in laws also have, therefore we were/are fighting a losing battle. I had hope which is diminishing. SS will be 7 next month, I will say he is better than he would have been had I not came into their lives, but he's still a disrespectful, whiney hellion.

Tuff Noogies's picture

i never really had a honeymoon phase with the kids. things progressed in gradual steps (pun intended Wink ) both in time they spent with us AND how kaos' behavior has unraveled.

FieryEscape's picture

With exDH , things were good with SD for about the first year. I ignored a zillion red flags with how exDH parented , but we all got along great. I really thought we were a family. Then BM decided I was the soft target and PAS'd SD , who was 7 , against me big time. Then it all started to fall apart. I was made to feel like the outsider, the wallet and the big mean SM. DH ignored all the disrespect and misbehaving and treated his little princess like gold. The whole situation broke my heart in many ways.

With my current SO , I never gave his kids a chance - I've been cautious since the start. I'm not mean or anything like that. They aren't bad kids, but I know I'm overly critical and notice all the faults. I haven't tried to be close with them , I don't know if I ever will since exSD and exDH did so much damage.

Ladystark's picture

My honeymoon stopped when we moved in together. I was ok with ss, not seeing him all day everday, but after a month of living together i started to question everything!!!

The main thing that got me worn down was the crazy excessive talking! I tried to be nice, i tried to be patient and tell him enough, but nothing got through to him. I could not understand how dh could sit there for an hour listening to him babble, and ask questions that were so random.

It go like this "daddy did you ever have a dog?" Yes i called him..."daddy if you could be a super hero who would you be?" Well...."id be blah blah" ahh well that be awesome...but its not nice to cut some one off.."sorry, daddy did you like this as a kid?" "Oh on sponge bob..."

Ughhh...

The first time i yelled at him, i was sick and he would not shutup. After i told him i was sick and to please stop talking to me, as nicely as i could. I yelled at him god it felt good. He told on me later. Dh and i has a fight. But later he talked to ss. Told him that when someone is sick you have to give them space. (I thought at the time, man he is dealing with it and was all aww, lol now i know these "talks" are crap!)

Lol. Whatever. It took him awhile to learn not all females are like his grandma, and daycare ladies. Not everyone thinks he is a golden child and everything you say is the best thing ever.

He started to hate me around fourth grade because he came to realize I AM not a friend, and i will call him out on things he says and does.

Sucks to be the only one doing it though... makes you question yourself sometimes. Like why does he bother me and noone else?