I move on and I forget. Life is short and I am not going to waste a minute of time or energy on anyone who has done me wrong. It really isn't a matter of forgiveness for me, because it is irrelevant when you cut someone out of your life.
I had a pastor explain it in a wonderful way ones. (forgive me if they way I say it sounds wrong) when Jesus talks about giving someone the other cheek it is more say to not live in fear because of another actions. It doesn't mean you should stay in a situation and it is ok to distance yourself from someone who hurt you. But don't use that experience to determine how you interact with other people.
I'm also rather inconsistent on this one. I'll overlook quite a bit for quite a while, but when I'm done, I'm DONE. I have a long memory, don't trust easily, and once you lose my trust, forgiveness is a moot point.
I've been around long enough to see lots of pop philosophies come and go. Unconditional love and forgiveness are touted quite a bit nowadays, and that's fine. I choose to practice kindness, but carry a big stick.
Evil3, I AGREE I totally agree. I am a really nice gracious, loyal, kind person.
Naturally I forgive little petty stuff. Heck most of the time I think Mehhh, no big deal.........
To forgive someone they must ask for forgiveness..Sorry it's not free and never assumed like many many people just say it like they are on corners handing out flyers.
Evil3 it is actually freeing to not feel like you must be a doormat to make someone else feel good about themselves who did something awful to you. That is what it usually is "OH YES,I forgive you for treating me like dirt, stealing, lying, etc etc"
What ever the act is/was---you dont have to forgive Evil3...that is the burden of the person who committed the ugly action, not yours. When I finally figured that one out it was instant freedom.
If someone will sincerely apologize and move forward, thus never hurting me again, I can forgive. I never forget.
If they are too stubborn to apologize and talk it out with me, I cannot forgive them and again I never forget. They will never have to worry about being bothered with my presence, because I don't like being mistreated and the second time is on me.
You cannot forgive anybody who is not remorseful or could careless, refuses to apologize and discounts your pain; a person with a sincere heart is a person who can say they are sorry and then makes certain their actions match their words-that is the only route to forgiveness.
I'm the type unfortunately to ALWAYS remember shit and to hold onto it...even unwillingly. I'll always remember dates, times...where it happened....even the damn song that was playing when it happen...crazy but true. I try to just focus on the present and understand that the person is human. I mean....if our past and experiences were theirs we would have done the same thing they did..however we always internalize their wrong doings...so i am trying my best to just let it go and detach from the past. It's hard but i have a feeling that it can be done.
I forgive over and over, and over. But, at some point it will change the relationship. Just because I forgive, doesn't mean reconciliation. Forgiveness at that point is more for me then for the person who wronged me. Sometimes you have to forgive someone so that YOU can move on, not them
I am quick to forgive, but
I am quick to forgive, but not forget.
I give people chance after chance, but lower my expectations/trust level with each wrongdoing
I move on and I forget. Life
I move on and I forget. Life is short and I am not going to waste a minute of time or energy on anyone who has done me wrong. It really isn't a matter of forgiveness for me, because it is irrelevant when you cut someone out of your life.
I had a pastor explain it in
I had a pastor explain it in a wonderful way ones. (forgive me if they way I say it sounds wrong) when Jesus talks about giving someone the other cheek it is more say to not live in fear because of another actions. It doesn't mean you should stay in a situation and it is ok to distance yourself from someone who hurt you. But don't use that experience to determine how you interact with other people.
I'm also rather inconsistent
I'm also rather inconsistent on this one. I'll overlook quite a bit for quite a while, but when I'm done, I'm DONE. I have a long memory, don't trust easily, and once you lose my trust, forgiveness is a moot point.
I've been around long enough to see lots of pop philosophies come and go. Unconditional love and forgiveness are touted quite a bit nowadays, and that's fine. I choose to practice kindness, but carry a big stick.
Evil3, I AGREE I totally
Evil3, I AGREE I totally agree. I am a really nice gracious, loyal, kind person.
Naturally I forgive little petty stuff. Heck most of the time I think Mehhh, no big deal.........
To forgive someone they must ask for forgiveness..Sorry it's not free and never assumed like many many people just say it like they are on corners handing out flyers.
Evil3 it is actually freeing to not feel like you must be a doormat to make someone else feel good about themselves who did something awful to you. That is what it usually is "OH YES,I forgive you for treating me like dirt, stealing, lying, etc etc"
What ever the act is/was---you dont have to forgive Evil3...that is the burden of the person who committed the ugly action, not yours. When I finally figured that one out it was instant freedom.
JMO of course.
If someone will sincerely
If someone will sincerely apologize and move forward, thus never hurting me again, I can forgive. I never forget.
If they are too stubborn to apologize and talk it out with me, I cannot forgive them and again I never forget. They will never have to worry about being bothered with my presence, because I don't like being mistreated and the second time is on me.
You cannot forgive anybody
You cannot forgive anybody who is not remorseful or could careless, refuses to apologize and discounts your pain; a person with a sincere heart is a person who can say they are sorry and then makes certain their actions match their words-that is the only route to forgiveness.
I'm with Gimlet. I can
I'm with Gimlet. I can forgive almost anything done to me. To my family? Not so much!
I'm the type unfortunately to
I'm the type unfortunately to ALWAYS remember shit and to hold onto it...even unwillingly. I'll always remember dates, times...where it happened....even the damn song that was playing when it happen...crazy but true. I try to just focus on the present and understand that the person is human. I mean....if our past and experiences were theirs we would have done the same thing they did..however we always internalize their wrong doings...so i am trying my best to just let it go and detach from the past. It's hard but i have a feeling that it can be done.
I forgive over and over, and
I forgive over and over, and over. But, at some point it will change the relationship. Just because I forgive, doesn't mean reconciliation. Forgiveness at that point is more for me then for the person who wronged me. Sometimes you have to forgive someone so that YOU can move on, not them
I forgive kids easily, but
I forgive kids easily, but not adults.
Kids are learning and trying to figure out the world around them. They are going to make mistakes.
If you can't forget then you
If you can't forget then you never forgave.... thus I do not forgive. I simply cut you out of my life...
I disengage and ignore you, you mean nothing to me and it's quiet easy to do so.
Life is to short to give people second chances and to keep on mixing with toxic people.