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Ongoing Room Saga

Cover1W's picture

LOL.
It never ends.
I am so, so, so, so glad I disengaged from SD12s room issue.
I can just laugh now.

So apparently DH has been talking with SD12 about her room.

Last night she pops up from her hovel to have dinner with us. She's chatting in the kitchen with DH. He asks, "Did you bring up the dishes from your room?" a pause..."...That you said you'd take care of?"
SD12: annoyed sigh, "NO daddy!"
DH: "Why not?"
SD12: "Because I was WRITING!"
See, this is her new excuse. It used to be, "I'll do it later/tomorrow" but that stopped working and now it's "I was writing" i.e. working on her stories. Granted she's a good writer but she'd been home from about 3:00 or so and it was now 7:30. 4 hours later. Guaranteed she's not writing for 4 hours, esp. when she's still got homework to do.
DH's response: NOTHING. Absolutely nothing.

I held my tongue - while inside my head I was saying, "Well, you aren't writing right now so go get them."

OH BOY.

Comments

ntm's picture

Lol. I love how the Disney dads have no ability to say what we immediately think. Their brains apparently just go blank.

notasm3's picture

If a 13 year old told me that her room was a shithole I'd probably say that it was fitting for a shitty person.

Cover1W's picture

It's taken him two years to get to the point where he will even address it directly. Follow through is t quite there yet. Which is why I ignore the situation. They were talking about her room tonight and SD12 asked me a question about it. I said that I'm not involved so won't give an answer. Then turned my attention to SD10. Easy.

Acratopotes's picture

COver - still the untidy room thus the curling iron is still not found?

Yes I know it's not in the room, maybe it's time for the curling iron to leave the bathroom as well and go on a walk about.... I think there's a couple of more stuff that needs to go for a walk about...

As I said, disengagement takes a while lol...... from now on SD can have paper plates and foam cups, why cause her share of the dishes are all dirty in her room...

Cover1W's picture

Curling iron was found in her bathroom...and she's USING IT IN THE BATHROOM so far.
I think she doesn't want to get burned again.

And I do have a supply of paper plates and stuff and she's USING THEM.
I don't know why she can bring the paper stuff upstairs and to the trash IN THE KITCHEN but she can't do the same for the real stuff (the sink is closer than the trash). But oh well.

I found out DH helped her pick up her room the other day. Yep HE DID IT FOR HER.

It's still pretty dirty (floor is a mess and her sheets need changing and if I find her other sheets that were on the floor in the linen closet those will be moved out of there to his office and he can make sure they go into the wash.
(I had to go in there to check on her as she had a pretty bad cold and she needed a medicine dose - otherwise I would have stayed out)

Acratopotes's picture

mm SD has a cold, I would've gave her meds and say.... no wonder you are sick,, look at this room...

then walk away, maybe that would've helped....

Elizamen's picture

I understand all of this - really I do, but from a logistical standpoint, it's a nightmare. (I guess that's why I got divorced last week!!)

My exH brought his kids into my tidy home that I pay for - he refused to pay anything towards to mortgage because it was MY house. Another useless argument even our therapist was at the end of her rope explaining to him. But they left their rooms a mess. The thing I was most upset about was the food & the smell. I did not want bugs in my home. How do you disengage when it's your most valuable asset being impacted? As it is, one of the girls destroyed the hardwood floors in my living room. How does one stand by and let this happen?

This is a rhetorical question as I am step free. But it always bothered me.

Cover1W's picture

The good thing is SD12 is the messy one and SD10 is super clean and organized most of the time.

When we moved into the house we contemplated getting new flooring for the SDs rooms and office but decided to wait and thank god we did. I would not change the carpet in either room right now. It's old carpet and I don't care if it's a mess. I'd trust SD10 but the rooms need to be the same flooring. I'm going to change the flooring in the office w/in the year though.

DH is actually better about getting to SD12 before I do.
After multiple discussions/arguments/plans to get that room clean I finally told him one night that I was done, done, done with discussing it. If he thought I was being too strict about it then fine, he can deal with it. ALL of it. If anything happened to the house or that room as a result of filth then HE ONLY would pay for anything. All on his dime. Because it's preventable.
That got me out of it.
See, we have separate accounts still. Due to SDs.
One account for our agreed upon shared bills and the rest separate.

I've had my issues as well with SDs breaking things; a new towel bar ripped from the wall, hooks ripped from the wall, door knobs somehow messed up, me fixing too many things or finding too many things broken. Told DP after the kitchen drawer was broken (by one of them standing on it rather than getting a stool - it was SD10) during the holidays and I had to fix it that it was the last straw. I was absolutely furious and neither SD would admit to it and DH did nothing to help with the issue. So I told him if anything else breaks due to SDs HE replaces it or pays for the fix. So really, I don't buy any new glasses, plates, replace lost tupperware etc. either.

It's got to be his time, his dollar.

Her room drives me nuts but I just keep the door shut.