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Parenting/Step parenting help

Lulu90's picture

Let me start this with I know hitting at almost 2 is normal. But BS (almost 2) only hits on the weeks SS (7 years) is at our house. SS is at our house every other week. The weeks SS is not there BS is great at soccer/gym child care/parks/playgrounds no hitting/pushing/pinching. Then the weeks SS is there we can't make it through anything without an incident. It slowly gets worse through the week then the next week without SS it slowly gets better. We are at about 3 months of this. We do timeout/discuss feelings and tell him he will go back to timeout if he does it again. I know I shouldn't be but I am embarrassed when my son hits another kid. Any advice or anyone can guess when this will get better? I am just lost at this.

Lulu90's picture

Nap times are off due to picking up SS from school. (no idea how to change that issue) SS has to be picked up at 2:30 nap time isn't over until 2:30 to 3. No bus option and there are busy roads on the way home I wouldn't feel comfortable with him crossing them alone. Any ideas would be great.

Its parent and child "soccer" he plays games with soccer balls on the field. He is not in daycare so we find other ways for him to be social and to follow directions. Honestly, he has learned a ton and follows multiple step directions.

DH does the evening stuff and I do mornings with the kids. (work schedules) My mom watches the kids while we are both at work. It works for us.

Lulu90's picture

He won't go down to nap until 12 (He takes one good nap) if he goes down at 11 he doesn't go to sleep until 12 he plays in his crib and "reads". BS goes to bed at 7 pm and wakes up at 7 am (in time to get clothes on and get SS to school)

zerostepdrama's picture

If you don't like SS and there is tension in the house or with you, then your BS will pick up on that. He may be reacting off of that.

Maybe BS is jealous of SS and the attention he gets when he is there and BS is acting out to try and get more attention?

Lulu90's picture

Maybe. But I don't know BS gets 100% of SS's attention. It is actually usually a great situation. SS is a great brother.

Lulu90's picture

We never asked. She offered and they are really close. My SS doesn't really understand that she is not his Grandma too. (he will say things about how he has (____) just like (My family member)) We sign him up for an after school thing that is 3 days a week most weeks. We can't guarantee that DH can pick up SS from it anyways. He is in law enforcement so most days he can't leave on time. He tries but they are voluntold to stay. We know overtime can don't be forced on anyone but he won't leave people a man down. It's an unwritten rule that if needed you stay.

Stepped in what momma's picture

What would DH do if you weren't there is the question needs to be answered.

Lulu90's picture

He won't be in Law enforcement. He wasn't when we got together. We discussed it and I was supportive so he did it. We make this decisions together if I wasn't ok with it he wouldn't have done it. Same with my career I discuss career changes and want his support before I take a job (if it is important to me he would be supportive with most things)

Acratopotes's picture

Lulu - you answered yourself why BS is difficult when SS is there... you cancel his nap time,, why

DH can pick up SS from school or arrange it and you stay at home, BS's routine should not be disrupted because SS is visiting....

Lulu90's picture

His nap time isn't cancelled it just gets cut short sometimes. SS starts his sports stuff at school here soon so that will help.

After school stuff doesn't work for us. BM wants us to pay for the whole thing then she will use it too. We are against paying for childcare that she wants due to DH paying child support because BM refuses to work.