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OT-follow up to my last OT

mommadukes2015's picture

So this past weekend my mom went away on a horseback riding trip with her friends. She does this fairly often. Her best friend's daughter, Mary, generally coordinates these trips. Mary and I have a history of not getting along. Mary likes to take over things and put her two sense in where it isn't always wanted. For example-when I got my tattoos (I have a half sleeve now) I got the "If God wanted you to have that crap on your body he would have put it there" speech. To which I retorted-well, we were all born stark naked and here you are with clothing on. By that logic, you should be a nudest. *rolls eyes*. This is a minor instance, but when I tried to plan co-occurring bachelor/bachelorette parties for my SF and mom a few years ago she inserted herself and pretty much ruined it for me. She's smart, she thinks quick, she's got strong opinions and she'll share them with you. All very admirable qualities, we just rarely agree on much and I've got my own set of formidable skills-plus I like to think for myself.

Since I've been with SO-my mother has informed me of conversations with Mary on these trips where Mary has voiced what she's noticed regarding SO. My mom of course shared SO's history with Mary and her mother-they're good friends so it's all fine with me. My mom also voiced her reservations to which Mary provided her with some perspective, based on her observations and came much to SO's defense. Things with my mom and her views of SO evened out after that, even though I had been telling her the same things. Different person outside the situation-I get it. This surprised me.

Oddly enough, my mom and I were discussing what I posted about over the weekend and she explained to me that Mary again, informed her of her observations about the differences between SO and BIL-again to SO's defense. She too seems to feel like BIL gets away with 0 accountability whereas my SO catches a lot of flack. Again, things I have been pointing out-but from a different source.

Mary and I have never really gotten along. But I really do appreciate her voicing her observations.