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Sick and tired of being sick and tired of bs

SweetMom's picture

i have gotten to were I just give up. Every time I say something that obviously bothers me, dh gets loud. He doesn't realize he gets loud but he does. His daughter fixing to be 13 is a damn slob. She has been a slob since I met her at 8. Her Other family is nasty! She says they never change the sheets over there or make the bed. Over here, the kitchen has to be clean at night before bed because I don't do bugs. Over here I change the bed sheets every 3 to 4 days. I vacuum because I don't do carpet with grass on it. The garbage gets taken out especially if there is a egg yolk thrown in there or any type of meat. So far they do pretty good at keeping the kitchen dishes clean and trash out. Dh has to get onto her about straightening up her bed. So recently she left and I was going to go over her floors and notice brown dark eye shadow make up on a real expensive area rug I've owned a long time.. It was smeared in it. This carpet is white with blue vines and flowers. She didn't even try to get a rag to wipe it up, no, she had to smeared all in the rug like a 3 year old. I feel like I'm nit picking my husband to death. Last time she was here I was putting some clothes away and opened the drawer and her old stinky period panties along with other clothes she had wore In work shop including musty smelling socks were pushed in dresser into other clean clothes. I don't like my house nasty. I would have her do her own laundry but she will find a way to tear my wash machine up like she did my sink by letting food go down the drain after I told her over and over to use the screen catchers when she uses the sink. She just doesn't LISTEN! I'm so sick and tired of her putting a sob story on is how she doesn't have clothes that fit when every other week we but her a outfit I demand it stay here then the following week she post photos of her and a friend in a store on the isle posing for a photo and she is wearing the very outfit I bought. That mother over there is a POS and married a bum, doesn't buy her clothes and sends her over wearing handmi down clothes of a woman's size xl when the kid wears a medium. Oh and the panties I wash looks like a fat woman's panties and not a little girls. I'm just fed up with the nasty bitches. And another thing since I'm venting. I feel like I don't owe the little kid a expination on my body. After I had a misscarriage last month that required surgery she asked if I was gonna try for another baby. Dh told her everything I guess when he went to get her in the car alone. If my husband ever wants to leave me I'm gonna say byyyyeeee!!!

CANYOUHELP's picture

I am with you too Sally lady....

I have often thought how fortunate I was and have been to have an intact family all my life, but what would it feel like to be a SD, were it me, instead? So, I have given it some thought and used it to guide me in making next steps.Here's what I think. It would be more natural for me to lean toward supporting my mom, but I would support whatever made my father happy. I would be accepting because I love my father, in the end. But, anything differently--would only hurt my relationship with my Dad, I would realize that quickly, I believe. My father would not allow me to act unsupportive.

Being rude, mean, unaccepting, crude, or treating somebody like yesterday's trash, ii simply jealousy. It is usually demonstrated by individuals who were raised to disrespect others, over selves. These things cannot be tolerated period. Some of us have no choice. And, people say you know what you are getting into; the answer in many cases..is no, you may not....

People change, you change, the family dynamic changes when people feel threatened or rejected.

In the end, you simply get-- what you tolerate.

SweetMom's picture

Haha Sally.. I love your inputs. I really needed that laugh. That is actually a great idea about sending him In and seeing the bloody panties. She will get embarrest, maybe that will teach her .

Is_What_It_Is's picture

I have one who keeps her room just like your SD - my advice is to ignore it and close the door. You can always withhold things until she cleans it though - like no shopping or going out to eat, or going to do whatever fun thing she wants to do. If she makes a mess, make her clean it - not up to you to clean up after a 13 year old. Too bad her bio mom is a piece of work - who knows what the girl is encountering while at home. That may be exactly what her mom allows her to do.