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OT - Go fund me accounts

notsobad's picture

Sorry most of my blogs are off topic it seems.

On another thread there was the suggestion to create a go fund me for a HS sport that was going to cost around $600. I didn't want to hijack that thread so I created this one.

What do you think of them?
Do you donate to them?

To me it is just begging online. I'll never give to one, no matter who it is or what they are asking for. I certainly wouldn't give to one asking for money to play a school sport!

I have a couple of stories.

A past coworker's grandchild has a congenital heart condition and needed open heart surgery at 6 months. Terrifying for the whole family. Mom was still on mat leave and Dad was working overtime to pay all the bills.
We are in Canada and have universal health care but there are still costs that aren't covered. Even transportation and parking can be very expensive when you are at the Drs or hospital twice a week.
The surgery was going to have to be in another city, they had a better Dr and a shorter wait list.
A go fund me was set up so that Dad could be there too. He had no more vacation time and while they would give him the time off it was going to have to be without pay.
For two weeks off work and travel to a city 3 hours away, they asked for $20K!!!! They also said Xmas was going to be hard and that having a sick baby was much more expensive than either of them expected.

I didn't give them anything. I felt that they were being greedy and using their sick son to beg for money. It really upset me and it must have put others off as well because they only got $200.

The other story is a friend of my nieces committed suicide.
She was gay and her wife started a go fund me to pay for the funeral.
Over $2000 was raised but it turned out that her parents paid for everything up front, expecting the wife to give them the go fund me money when she got it.
She never handed the money over. She said that the parents were terrible to her, they never accepted her and were not very accepting relationship.
She spent the money instead on a two week trip to Mexico to get her head together and mourn her wife!
My niece loves drama and so for her this was like mana from heaven. The stories, the tears, the anger and recriminations. Oh it went on an on and on. I guess the family could have sued for the money but it would have cost them more than the $2000 so it wasn't worth it.

Comments

notasm3's picture

DH and I have two acquaintances (have been demoted from friend status) who started a gofundme account to move. They asked for $3500 for rent and deposits for a new place. I suspect they were being evicted from their current place. They had a sob story about being unemployed.

Both of them are highly educated and employable - but neither have worked at a job in about 5 years as they keep trying to be "independent marketing consultants" - but they don't even know how to market themselves. I wouldn't hire them. They've gone through a pretty substantial inheritance.

They only got about $600. I certainly didn't give them a penny. I so wanted to post GO GET A JOB!

CANYOUHELP's picture

It is a shame that idle, sorry, dishonest individuals are using this process to prey on emotion of others. I know somebody with a worthless daughter doing about the same thing, because she is plain lazy. She is working and wants more money than she earns, but not willing to work any more hours.

A lot of fraud....

I am certain it was not designed for this purpose at all.

simifan's picture

I've given to one. It was a family member with a terminally ill child. I personally knew who set up the go-fund me account & it was not mom or dad, although they were struggling financially and everyone knew it. Mom & Dad were very reluctant to accept help.

But in general, no I don't give to these things..

FieryEscape's picture

I hate public begging. Seems people try to get their sob stories in the media spotlight to get $$$. Lot of time it's a scam, lazy entitled people looking for a free ride.

A friends ex wife set up a GoFundMe asking for $20,000 for a down payment on house ...*eye roll* . She runs a successful business , she just didn't want to save up the money herself.

It's not all bad. I have no issues with the funds set up to help animal rescues , to help during natural disasters and tragedies. But there are so many looking for money for vacations , rent , weddings , cars etc...when did this type of thinking become ok ?

CANYOUHELP's picture

It is a shame that something well-intentioned is frequently ruined by others whom are not...ughhh.

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

I have given to them but I only give to people I know very well and know that they are very much in need. I don't give to the frivilous ones who want vacation money or wedding money, etc.

I have given to my friend with severe anorexia that I have blogged about. She's trying to save her own life at this point. I know she is no fraudster. And of course that treatment center doesn't work and she'll try another one and will set up another go fund me and I give to that one. And that one doesn't help and they are about to call in hospice for her and she'll try another treatment center. I care about her and I don't want her to die. I don't have a lot of money but I give $50 to each go fund me each time she tries a different facility and I hope maybe this is the one that will help.

I will give to ill children, sure. Not a wedding or a vacation because most of the time I can't afford these fun things for myself. But If I know the person and I know their need is true and great, I'll give a little money

momjeans's picture

For unseen medical expenses in SOME cases, I get it. I really do. Doesn't mean I particularly agree with it, but I try to imagine what it must be like to be in said person's shoes to have to reach out to perfect strangers.

The ones to help fund a $5000 and upward funeral because "These things are EXPENSIVE!" Yeah, no shit. That's why I spent a whopping $1200 to have my mother cremated when she passed unexpectedly. It wasn't anyone else's monetary responsibility but mine and mine alone.

Anything outside of that - not a fan. Want elective cosmetic surgery? Need help with moving expenses? Yeah. Welcome to life. It's expensive.

Last In Line's picture

I have never given to anyone via gofundme. Everyone is asking for money for everything...and I realize that some of them are what I would consider valid needs, but I'd rather help people I know directly, or give to local charity directly. I think a lot of people are asking for donations before looking at resources that are already out there and available to people in their situation. And I'm not about to send someone money for their dream vacation/trip/wedding/home--I haven't had those things myself, and I'd never ask other people to fund those things for me.

FieryEscape's picture

I am not trying to be a B, but isn't that what life insurance and home/renters insurance is for ? I have policy's to cover my family if the unforeseen happens , I don't expect them to have to publicly beg because I didn't want to pay for insurance coverage.

hereiam's picture

When my husband had a heart attack, he had really crappy insurance and ended up with a $45,000 hospital bill. It never even occurred to me to ask others to foot that bill.

Vacations, weddings, down payments for houses? WTF?

notasm3's picture

The acquaintances that I posted about earlier are truly in dire straits - BUT it is all of their own making. They chose to "follow their dream" without having a backup plan to pay the rent.

When you don't work for 5 years (in a job market where they are begging for workers) and then end up virtually homeless one day - well it is all too predictable.

Fortunately there are no children involved.

a better life's picture

I'm fine with go fund me accounts. I don't mind people asking, yes it is sad that some will take advantage. I tend to have only given to those where I have some personal knowledge of the situation. I do give to others on a regular basis, sometimes to certain charities and to other causes I believe in including personal giving to a family or situation I feel is deserving. Are there some people that will sucker in money? yes. There is one situation I know of where I feel after the fact the money I gave did not go to the right cause. However, that is always a risk with any kind of giving whether direct giving, to a recognized charity or even to a church. I give for others but I also give for myself as it coincides with my lifeview. I would have no qualms about contributing to a deserving child to participate in a positive activity if I felt led to do so. I also might give them some work to do for money toward said activity.

notsobad's picture

I know the Grandma and Mom of the little boy with the heart issue. I know for a fact that he was very sick and that the family was struggling somewhat with finances. They really couldn't afford for Dad to take the time off to go up for the operation.

What ticked me off was that they weren't asking for a couple of hundred or even a couple of thousand dollars to help them through the extra expenses of the operation.
They were asking for half a years salary! I honestly think that if they'd only asked for $1000, they would have gotten it and more.
They just came across as being greedy.

You have no idea what they are actually spending the money on and I have a problem with that. Our ideas of what is acceptable may not be the same.
I feel the same about the Red Cross, United Way, the Heart and Stroke foundation. I hate that most of the money goes to management.
I will volunteer my time to drive someone to and from chemo, I will give blood, I will make dinners for families who just lost a loved one but I won't give money.

Thumper's picture

Sorry but go fund me is no longer used for its true meaningful intent.

Read them some time. You can look on FundRazer too...SCAM artists who prey on kindness of others because GOD is usually somewhere written in the bio area. Sad

As a family who has had a very ill child for many months and still is not 100percent clean bill of health, the nicest thing someone can do is mow your grass OR cook a meal during times of need.

Wifeypoo's picture

On June 7, 2016, my 25 yr. old DD futureSD 's lost her BM to a accident. I blogged about it right after it happened. She was hit by a car and killed instantly. Someone I don't know set up a go-fund account for the 7 year old girl, who lost her mother. It specifically said the money would go to the little girl. Well I didn't contribute one dime to that thing. I take care of her often, and buy her things on my own because I want. I dont feel obligated to give to that account one bit. Last I saw it was up to $2000.00 I haven't checked on it lately so I don't know what it finished up.

The funny thing is, here it is the end of August, and no money has been turned over for the little girl. I have no idea who has the money but somehow I doubt she will ever see a penny of it. The heck with that. I wouldn't give to those things UNLESS I trust the person starting it and it's for something I think is legitimate cause. Even than I wouldn't give much.

I hate how they are starting them for every and any little thing now. For those Breaking Bad fans out there it's like when Walt Jr. started one for his father's cancer treatment. It was awkward, that whole scene. Even Walt senior, the recipient of the money, felt really awkward and embarrassed about it .

zerostepdrama's picture

I'm fine with Go Fund Me in certain cases. Medical cases, raising money for the parents to be with sick kids, house fire, etc. If I feel like it's legit then I may give to it. You just never know what can happen and even being prepared you may still find yourself in a bad financial situation. Who am I to judge? For the frivolous ones, no I am not donating at all.

BM started a Go Fund Me for YSD to get new teeth. She had a big gap between her front teeth and got braces. Well the braces adjusted her teeth so that she then had open spaces and no teeth. So BM set up a fund for YSD to get the fake teeth. I think the only person who donated to it was OSD. $10. LOL.

OSD had also set up an account asking for money but it was through a different site. Her story was basically they were a struggling family, can't see her DH's other kids because the BM was a B, they were working hard, blah, blah, blah. They didn't get any money either.

FieryEscape's picture

Exactly ! Why spend your own when you can get others to do it for you. It's sickening !

I just saw one for an acquaintance of a friend. They set up a GoFundMe so her beginning adult years wouldn't be drowning in debt ( that is in the GFM description ). This 18 year old caused a very bad car accident and was injured and is on the hook for whatever her insurance doesn't cover. That's life , we deal with the choices we made - not expect everyone else to bail us out and make our lives easier.

notsobad's picture

I just found out that my cousin has set one up, or a friend has set one up for her.

She has stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. She will die from it, they can not cure it only treat it and hope that it does not grow or spread. Only 37% of women live 3 years after diagnosis. About 10% live 10 years or more.
She has 3 children under the age of 7.
Her husband is in the Navy and they've moved him from active duty to teaching and a desk job.

She lives on the other end of the country from me but we visit almost every summer. I buy her $200 - $300 worth of premade meals each time we visit.

She and her family live in the house she grew up in. Her parents moved next door to her grandparents house when they passed away. The house is paid for. Her parents help out everyday with child care, food and general support. They don't have much money either.

They have pets and one of the cats broke it's leg. She was on FB saying how they didn't know how they were going to pay the vet. That money was really tight and this was an expense that they didn't need. She also said she wished that the gofundme was doing better. That's how I found out she had one.

I did for a minute considering giving to the gofundme, Yes I know I said I wouldn't do it but this is family and I know she will die from this. If the money would help her to live another 20 years, I'd give but I'm afraid it's going to be used to pay the vet.

I know there are some big pet lovers on here but I think the people in this scenario are more important than the cat.

I almost wish they'd set it up just to pay for the vet! Then it would be clear and there wouldn't be any wondering what the money was going to. Pet lovers would donate and those who aren't wouldn't!

blueeyes6's picture

I'm sure that there are some gofundme accounts that are truly a need for people but my experience with them personally has been a big joke. I know of 2 different cases of people who were just ridiculous in their requests... First one was a couple that were both on disability (and should not be, no reason why they can't work) who set one up for honeymoon costs. The second was a girl asking for money because she went through a difficult divorce.. REALLY?!?!?!?