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ss31 moving

still learning's picture

ss31 came over the other day and visited DH while I was out . Apparently ss met a new girl and is planning on moving back east in a few months to be close to her. Hallelujah!

ss told DH how he doesn't like people in the west and how they just don't 'get' him. Apparently everyone in the east will "get" and just love ss. DH said "ss31 is just very brusk, that's why people here think he's an @$$hole. Back east people are more brash so he'll fit right in." Geez DH, you mean an entire 4th of the US is wrong and just doesn't get your special snowflake? I was biting my tongue so hard because I wanted to tell DH that ss really IS an @$$hole, and the only people who will have anything to do with him are a few family members and needy stoner women with low self esteem.

ss31 has done this before; met some girl and ran to another state to be w/her. Predictably the relationship fizzles, ss drops out of life, DH bails him out/pays his way home, and back to mommy or daddy's he goes to sulk and smoke pot for a year or two. SS doesn't have a job or a place to stay yet. He got accepted to a tech college, and is also looking into IVY league schools (LMAO!). He doesn't have a solid plan to speak of; my guess is that his plan A is to show up "homeless" to this girls place and mooch off of her until further notice. To my shock DH told ss that if things did not work out he would not be bailing him out this time and that he needed to figure it out. I think DH is getting tired of being the safety net and go to wallet, either that or he's growing his balls back! But I also noticed that the bank account was lower so ss must've got some going away guilt $$$ out of DH. Not a big deal though because a few hundred bucks for ss to move away is priceless.

Beware you Easterners...ss31 is coming.

still learning's picture

I hope so too. The last few times DH has bailed out ss has caused huge fights between us. DH needs to "protect" poor victimized little ss from me and I'm the bad guy. No mention of how ss moved somewhere w/out a plan, quit his job, decided to be high all the time and lose the roof over his head. I hope it works this time. I know DH could use a break from ss too even though he won't admit it.

enuf's picture

It is rather scary how blind they are do ds faults. My ex would always say that his ds was a good catch for any woman. His ds grunts, does not know how to say a simple "hello", has anger management issues, did not get a high school degree, is obese, an alcoholic, sees himself as a victim and always complaining. I still cannot believe he really thinks that his ds is good catch. Right! Every woman's dream man.

Let's hope your dh sticks to what he says!

still learning's picture

Your ex ss sounds a lot like my ss. DH too has these rose colored glasses about his son. ss31 is also a "great catch" yet the only women he can land are fellow stoners or sometimes insecure older women who are lonely. ss is usually unemployed, stoned and living w/mommy. Great catch for sure.

I hope DH sticks to his word too because our relationship has been tested way too much over this manchild who hasn't launched.

still learning's picture

I lived in AZ for much of my childhood and have been back several times to visit. There are a few loons there. Your comment is pretty spot on!

sammigirl's picture

Oh, this story is so familiar. My YSS53 is just out of prison 1 1/2 year. He has a job, because that is part of his parole. He has to live with BM in neighboring State, on and on.....

He was never wrong, everyone else was wrong. He was sentenced to 30 years in prison for fraud, identity theft, hot checks, stealing equipment to sell, rented furniture to sell, you get the picture. We bailed and paid for his mistakes since I met DH; YSS was 15 at the time. YSS has made a career of crime; and DH didn't want to admit that YSS had no direction, until he was directed to prison, because the Judge was tired of seeing him in his Court room (Judge said those words).

I finally had to be the one to cut the purse strings and stop the homeless bum from living with us, before he went to prison. I was the meanest SM ever. Well guess what! YSS proved me right.

It will all catch up to your SS down the road. It usually has a way of coming home to roost. I hope your DH sticks to his words. If it runs you short of $$$ and is interfering with your life, you be the one to stop it next time. Everyone was mad at me, but DH got over it; I don't care what anyone else thinks. OSS58 always had my back, that helped.

Good Luck and enjoy the peace while it lasts; maybe he'll stay with the ones that are "right" in the East.

still learning's picture

Sounds like YSS was enabled in his criminal career from a young age. Sad that his parents couldn't or didn't want to see it. DH/BM are the same way w/ss; enabling and crippling him so much that as a grown man he has nothing to show for his life.

Yes I will stop it and have been the one interfering in their codependent drama for the last 4 years. If it didn't affect my checkbook and sanity I wouldn't care what those two did but we do share finances and at this point it would be hard to separate them.

I sure hope it'll work out and he stays w/all his fellow @##holes in the east (DH's words not mine).

enuf's picture

"I lived in Arizona for a while....whoa... I seriously had to be careful when I was invited somewhere to make sure it wasn't a cult thing I was going to. Very odd people there, lots of drugs."

I grew up in Arizona, I guess that is why my dh divorced me. }:)