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Friends - You Won't Believe what Happened to DH When He Ran Into The Twit

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Haven't been here much lately because I am busy packing, sorting through things and getting rid of stuff. But I just had to let you know what happened earlier today.

DH goes to Wal-Mart this morning and runs into....Twit. First, this is unusual because this is not the Wal-Mart she generally goes to (thank goodness). DH asks her how things are going, and that he expected to hear from her when she got home that night she was up here and woke us up. She looked him directly in the eyes, he said, and told him that she didn't know what he was talking about!

He continued on asking about her husband (said he cringed as he did so) and she said he was fine, her "babies" were fine, they all were fine. She told him that she did get the windows installed and that was fine too, and lamented to him how much she could have saved if DH had "helped her out with them" [translation - do it for her for FREE]

When DH reminded her about how she showed up at our door very, very late (early morning) because her hubby had left and wasn't answering her calls, he said she quickly diverted saying she didn't know what he was talking about....all was well with them.

Okay, DH gets home and says to me that he ran into her and according to her, she never came by our house that night and kept us up! That she didn't know what he was talking about. My response was: "Welcome to the Club dear. That is what she does when she has done something mean, nasty or could possibly embarrass her."

DH also said that she asked if she could have anything we didn't want when we moved, just to let her know. DH told her that my DD was coming by to get a lot of the stuff we weren't taking with us. He said she quickly ended their conversation after that. [Honestly, that one is always looking for something for nothing.]

I didn't tell him that I felt it was her way of getting back at him because we are moving, etc., and he wouldn't put her windows in for free. The, what is it called, cold shoulder treatment (as though I would care).

I did ask him if she seemed otherwise okay and he said she was fine, looked fine etc. He is perplexed because she has never done this to him. Of course there is always the chance that she has totally flipped.

About her hubby, if he was gone WE definitely would have heard from her. She can't bear to be alone.

Very strange, befuddling. But then remember, she is perfect, her family is perfect, her"babies" are perfect.

Glad we are going to be gone in about 1 1/2 months. It can't come soon enough where she is concerned.

sandye21's picture

Short term memory kicking in again. Gaslighting DH now. Not a good thing to do if she wants to maintain a relationship with him. Hope the month and 1/2 goes fast for you.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Right on there, Sandye. I don't put up with Twit nonsense and have nothing to do with her, so she has to move on to someone else. She has already run through her other siblings and her own Mother won't have anything to do with her. She has no friends except pot and pan team mates.

We know her family is, well, dysfunctional to say the least and one "babie" really needs help that he is not getting because SHE can do it all. It really is quite sad.

As for the gaslighting....she has pulled that one on me and, in the past, DH would back her up! Wonder how he feels and thinks about it now that she is doing it to him.

sandye21's picture

SDM, It is so typical for SDs to transfer the anger back to DH when an SM takes herself out of the picture. My SD did this too. Like my SD, this is not a smart move for them.

I also find it odd that Twit forgot the late night visit to your house but remembered you were moving.

In your post yesterday you mentioned you were angry because you had to move even though you like your house and neighbors. Can't blame you at all. But once you get into your new house you will be thankful for the distance.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Hi Sandye - Yes, it was interesting that Twit forgot the late night visit. DH didn't. It is a Tactic she uses to deflect when she does something. As I say, she use to do it to me when I would call her on something and DH would back her up EVEN THOUGH he had heard what I heard. Now he is on the receiving end.

As I said to him later when he was ruminating over it (been there), he has a choice....either she is telling the truth there or you are crazy and delusional or visa versa. AND, since she had me up at the same time that very early morning (after midnight) I told him that it wasn't him. He knew that.

twoviewpoints's picture

She's an odd bird, that one.

Funny how Twit pretends to have no knowledge of her late night visit but remembers you're moving. She learned you're moving during the visit that never happened. Silly Twit.

I guess if she shows up again before you get moved, you can ignore her knock. She's not really there.

Powerfamily's picture

Good point twoviewpoints. It's a shame your DH didn't tell her she must be imaging about you moving as she didn't turn up at midnight that night.

Her asking about what she can have, I think it's time to make boxes of all the junk/rubbish you don't want to take with you or to the dump. And have it taken to house the day after you move.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

GREAT IDEA! Have her come to pick them up the day we leave. By the time she gets home and opens them we will be LONG GONE. That one is sooooo tempting.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

You know, it is quite sad that we have been driven away from a home we did like by the Twit. We have great neighbors, etc. And that is very sad. And, I am angry about it. While it is great that we are getting out of Twit area the fact is that we shouldn't have to. Sometimes I feel angry at DH because he should have stopped all her tantrums at me, craziness, etc. a long time ago. I will work it through, but it does make me angry at him at times. I figure once we do get this move over and in our new home I won't feel this way, but right now...

What also makes me sad is seeing that the youngest of her "babies" is in danger because Momma Twit doesn't want to admit there really is a problem and get him actual help.

Like was posted once before, when something happens to him she will get all the attention she wants because it was "not her fault" but alcohol and drugs that did her "babie" in. Munchowsinz(sp) for certain. I just can't comprehend sacrificing a child, even if adult now, for attention....that is beyond me totally.

enuf's picture

Unfortunately, it is not over. I am sure she will be ringing your dh phone off of its hook. No matter where my ex and I went the phone was always ringing over stupid things. We were on a cruise and ss48 called 10X in a couple of hours because he was watching our dog and the dog pooped in the house as he did not let it out.

Anything for attention, caution your dh that this is the next step and how he handles or responds will have an impact on the peace in your house. Remind him that she has a husband and is an adult woman who does not need daddy to take care of her.

I wish peace in your new home.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Well, Twit's hubby is back so she has calmed down and been leaving us alone except for a letter she wrote DH (we are not answering her calls, pleads, etc.) saying how upset she is we are moving and all the problems Drunkie is going through and how hard it is on her....boo hoo hoo

DH told me he is not getting involved anymore with anything after that last meeting with her. Actually said that she needs help just as much, if not more than her Drunkie does. He said she never takes advise anyway, just cries. Boy, have his eyes opened. My prayer is that Twit stays away until we get out of Dodge. But history tells me that the closer we get to moving day the more agitated and upset Twit will get and the more vicious and malicious she will become.

DD is coming this week to take what she wants, and to bring me back my silver etc. so I can take it with me to my new home and not have to worry about it disappearing with Twit around.

The movers are coming the first week in Oct. Because it is a long distance move, we will be in our new home about a week or so before they get there. Which is good because we can paint etc., though sleeping on an air mattress is going to be no treat.

enuf's picture

Yay!! You are finally getting away from sd. Good for you! You will feel so much better once you are away from her. However, she will try very hard to get her claws into her df before you. Try to be really disengaged during this process. I am sure it will be hard to watch, however just remember that this woman is emotionally damaged and still is trying to be the little girl who has her daddy to herself.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

You know enuf, I really don't think that she knows how to love or care about anyone. People, including her "babies" are only there for appearances and the attention she gets. As for her husband, well, Twit doesn't like to be alone as she has shown. A lot of the problems with her come when her DH isn't around. How sad it must be not to be comfortable with one's self.

Out of DH's 3 adult children, Twit is the only one that has these major problems. And I guess it says something that all of her "babies" are messed up one way or the other. She has alienated her Mother, her other siblings, and now DH. She has even admitted to me that at least one of her hubby's old navy buddies friends wife won't let her come to her house. There IS a reason but Twit claims not to know what it is, which I don't believe for a moment.

I am just staying clear of her, and counting the days.

sandye21's picture

I've been reading an interesting item on Narcissism: http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/traits.html

It states: "Interaction with narcissists is confusing, even bewildering -- their reasons for what they do are not the same as normal reasons. In fact, treating them like normal people (e.g., appealing to their better nature, as in "Please have a heart," or giving them the chance to apologize and make amends) will make matters worse with a narcissist."

Also that a narcissist has the moral maturity of a 5 or 6 years old. They hate to be alone. If confronted about their behavior they will try to blame you or say exactly what Twit said to you, "Twit claims not to know what it is."

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Hi Sandye - Boy, did that article hit the Twit right on; no if ands or buts. One point made in the article was that dealing with these Twit types makes one want to run for cover.

When I have been around her I use to feel like she was watching me, sizing me up so to speak, seeing where I could be vunerable (sp?) if that makes any sense. It was very uncomfortable and put me on guard. I found out that I was right to be on guard concerning Twit.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Before discovering ST and reading the many posts mentioning narcissism, I wasted years wondering why OSD is the way she is and making excuses for her. I have never encountered anyone else who is as openly selfish and socially retarded as her. It didn't help that I had a checked out DH and in-laws who would ignore OSD's bad behavior and pretend everything was fine. Now, like you I've educated myself and know that the only way to deal with a narc is to avoid them!

Does your SD know exactly when you will be leaving? Hopefully your DH didn't make the mistake of telling her exact dates. It would be great if you could somehow mislead her and be gone a month before she expects you to go. She's probably carefully monitoring your home listing, too.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Question for you Exjulie - Does your OSD talk funny....by this I mean is never direct about things but talks in a way that can be several ways or is not definite about something? Twit does this and it use to drive me crazy because it was jibberish, meant nothing, didn't make sense, etc. I refer to it as Twit talk. DH never noticed it before, or maybe she never did it to him, but he notices it now. It is like she is in an alternate universe in some of the things she says. Now I don't care how she talks or what she says because I'm gonna be GONE.

DH told her we were moving, I don't recall right now if he spilled the exact date...it was, well, we were woken up by her ringing the bell that night/morning.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

I'm not sure I follow - can you give a specific example?

OSD is certainly manipulative, and she has learned that it's best to conceal her true traits. For example, back when MySpace was the only social media site, OSD created an account and called herself "Beauti". She truly believes that she is beautiful and deserving of special treatment. Within a few months, she changed the name on her account to her actual name, presumably after being teased. With age, she has learned to observe how others behave and is better at assimilating, unless she's under stress or has had a few drinks. Then, all bets are off and the rage and entitlement bubbles out. OSD truly has a skewed perspective and delusional way of being in the world.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

One thing that comes to mind is the time years back we were down there (before we moved down here and before I knew how crazy she is) and the neighbor's goats kep bleating and kept him up. The next day he, jokingly, said that it was time for some roast goat. He was kidding around, I knew it and so did every one else there.

Shortly there after she goes off blaming me for going and causing problems with her neighbors (whom I never met) because I wanted to roasting their goat!! She spewed a who lot of nonsense, some of which didn't make sense. DH had to try to explain to her that he said it, not me, and no one was going to roast anything....it was just a joke because the animal had been bleating a good portion of the night.

When she finally calmed down, she told DH it was because her meds hadn't come yet and some other stuff that was going on in her life at that time. I thought she might have just been going through a bad bit, didn't think much of it at the time but then I didn't know better and had not been around her much.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

What a hysterical nutter. Sounds like she created a melodrama out of nothing.

I truly believe that one negative result of divorce is that parenting on both sides can become diluted or stop altogether, resulting in disordered people not getting the help they need. Clearly, Twit didn't wake up one day as a crazy adult. Too bad she didn't get the help she needed before marrying and having kids.

enuf's picture

These screwed up skids would rather have attention than have help. My ss clearly has anger management issues, but will he go for treatment or even take a pill. No! because being that way gives him the undivided attention from both mommy and daddy when he is upset. Apart from the undivided attention he also gets handled with kid gloves. Homemade meals, time at the beach with mommy. Daddy taking him on vacation and out to eat.

He is not stupid and can see that throwing tantrums gets him special treatment.