what if her mother didn't live so close? Your home is her home too. I would be worried since she's 18 because you risk parties and such. but do you not know her? do you think she would do something like that or is she responsible? If you had a child and they were 18, would you be leaving them home or making them come with you on your trip? Sometimes you have to give your kids a chance to show you they can be trusted. I don't see a BIG deal in her staying at your house if she's responsible.

I can see both sides but I do certainly see where your concerns are. Not knowing your SD's personality or background makes it difficult to say. Is she a quiet, introverted type who will enjoy the time alone in your house - maybe invite a couple of friends over to watch movies? Or is she one who will have wild friends/party while you are out?

From your DH's perspective, it's his "of age" daughter and he thinks she is old enough and (evidently) trustworthy enough to let her stay. IMO, if he takes that approach then a sit-down "adult" conversation is in order: she is 18 now and legally responsible for what happens in the house, rules as to whether or not she can have friends over, and she needs to identify that she is mature enough to handle responsibility for an entire house on her own.

What is she going to do in case of any emergency (fire, power outage, water pipe burst, break in, etc.)? Will it involve her mother coming over to your home to "help"? Will that be an issue for you and DH? BM coming over if need be? Or for that matter, if BM is a nosy barker this might be her chance to come over and snoop around your place since SD is staying there alone. That may or may not be an issue.

Of course, like sanecatlady says, we were all 18 once and having an entire house at your disposal brings up all kinds of tantalizing possibilities! Which is probably the perspective you are coming from.

I can also see both sides. You say there's no reason for her to stay there, since she could stay at her mother's, but there is also no reason for her NOT to stay there, if there is no issue with trust. She's 18 and old enough to stay home alone. If you trust her, don't think she'll have a party or whatever, what's the problem?

If she's a trustworthy person, then I wouldn't have a problem with her staying while I was gone.

My situation is some different as my ex and I live 6 hours apart, but my DH had no issues with my 19yo daughter staying in our home while we were gone on a work-related trip for 5 nights. She took care of our animals who would otherwise have had to be boarded. Having said that, she is a very introverted, studious person, and she doesn't have a group of friends that live near us, so we really had zero concerns about parties and bad behavior taking place. We also knew my ex wouldn't be making a 6 hour trip to snoop thru our house.

Just wondering if there is something that makes you uneasy about having her alone in your home.

For the past six years this now young lady has lived with you 50/50. This is as much 'home' to her as her BM's house is. You've stated yourself (prior post) she is a great kid and indicated there are no problems concerning her (you're extremely fortunate... count your blessing).

I can understand why Dad was taking back by your thoughts she should not be there. She's going off to college very very soon. Why rock the boat now? You say there is no trust issues. The day will come soon enough that this young lady develops her sense of adulthood and neither Mom or Dad will get much of her time. She's riding out her last summer of familiarity and, well, basically her childhood. A few more weeks and nothing will ever be the same again for her, or for Mom and Dad, again.

Go enjoy your day and your overnight. It'll be ok.

I think it depends, frankly. If you are concerned that SD might let BB into your home, then you are right not to want SD to stay there. When my skids were that age I would have NEVER let them house sit or be in my home unattended for any period of time.

Not because I thought they were bad kids, per se, but because I knew they could never say no to their mom. Never ever. At the same time, I knew BB always was obsessed with everything about us. Heck, she tried to weasel her way into the house more than once when we were actually home. I couldn't imagine what she would do if we weren't there and the only gatekeeper was a skid.

It is your home. I say you get to make the call.

If you are questioning it, there must be some other reasons-- you have not mentioned.

I would not want my skids in my house either (and, it is also your home), but not one of them are to be trusted... from drugs, men, parties, jail birds, violence, it is crazy. The behavior is horrible and they have been raised with zero consequences, clearly.

So, you follow your heart.

Seriously. You guys are over the top, lol.

Look at the positives; if she is trustworthy then you have a free house sitter.