Things Just Got Ugly-
So BM text DH last night, basically demanding to see SS before we leave for New York (in 2 days). The only reason she even remembers we are going, or that it is time for us to go is because some families from our team are already there and posting pics on FB. She can see them. So DH tells her he needs an address to serve her, that we have a court date.
So, we have done our part in letting her know. She flipped her lid. Said she will take "drastic measures" to make sure SS doesn't go to New York unless we let her see him before we go. Ummm. I don't think so.
She doesn't believe that SS is making his own decision by not speaking to her. She doesn't think he is "ok" with not seeing her. And she accused me of blocking her number from his phone.
First- I would never block her number from his phone. She is his mom
Second- She has a new number every other week, I wouldn't have time to keep up with that even if I wanted to
Third- I'm sure he ISN'T ok with not seeing her, but he is MORE NOT OK with seeing her how she is now
Last- You appear out of nowhere and start making demands??? Go F*CK yourself.
Ugh... I seriously HATE her.
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Comments
keep him close to you until
keep him close to you until you leave for New York. She is desperate and pissed off. A dangerous combination.
I had a feeling this was coming.
I did too. That's one of the
I did too. That's one of the reasons I was pushing DH to get the paperwork filed. She is so unpredictable.
We do have security with
We do have security with camera's. My mom will be going to the house in a few minutes to pick SS up and take him to his friends house. She won't know where he is.
My neighbor is a sheriff, I will be talking to him tonight.
We can't leave early, we are going to New York, we live in California. Flights have been booked for months. And, we both have to work through tomorrow.
She does. I was talking to
She does. I was talking to her about it when she offered to go pick him up.
maybe he hangs out at
maybe he hangs out at friend's house while you and DH are at work until you leave for NY???
I wish you hadn't even said
I wish you hadn't even said anything about needing an address to serve her.
I agree with monkey, make sure your house is locked up tight with neighbors alerted to keep an eye out and call police if anyone is lurking. Leaving a day early sounds like a good plan, too, if you're able.
DH wanted to make sure he was
DH wanted to make sure he was following all of the rules so we don't get in trouble for not making an effort to locate her. He kind of had to with the things she was saying. If the police end up at our doorstep to attempt to stop us from taking him out of state, we needed proof that we have made every effort. Last thing we need is a kidnapping charge.
I think telling her about the
I think telling her about the motion and asking for an address is/was the right thing to do in terms of keeping everything above board.
you're right about that, it
you're right about that, it was the right thing to do to keep things above board...but when dealing with a batshit druggie, I think there's some space where it's better to just not tell them things.
I know, BUT BS and her
I know, BUT BS and her husband don't want to be in the position of having their motion hearing dismissed because of improper service. All meth mom would have to do is tell the Court that there was contact via text with BS and no one ever informed her of the hearing to get that baby kicked out of court.
Improper service is a big deal and things get dismissed frequently because of it.
It's easy enough to keep SS super busy and not at home until they leave for New York.
She doesn't have a home to
She doesn't have a home to take him to. I think we would just get a slap on the hand... but... we don't need to test that theory.
Actually, she doesn't text me
Actually, she doesn't text me anymore. She only texts DH. Which is GOOD BY ME!!!
I tend to me more blunt and harsh. She doesn't like that. DH will ignore her, she'd rather be ignored than told she is an idiot.
It was the right thing to do.
It was the right thing to do. He doesn't want to get to court and have the judge order a continuance because BM didn't get a chance to be there to defend herself...courts are pro-BM whether we agree with that or not.
A little off topic - but
A little off topic - but enjoy Cooperstown. We had a blast and the boys love it! Just a little bit of advice that as dumb as it is, was a pain for me. Seems everything at the snack stands are priced weird - such as $1.53. We walked away from that trip with ALOT of small change.
Thank you! We are excited!
Thank you! We are excited!
Thanks for the heads up. That is really weird though. I wonder why they do that.
maybe so you will just tell
maybe so you will just tell them to keep the change?
That's exactly what I was
That's exactly what I was thinking. Her "drastic measures" are simply to attempt to enforce her custody rights.
DH simply replied to her with "I'm going to do you a favor and not tell SS that you are threatening trying to keep him from his Cooperstown trip, that he has been looking forward to since he was 7 years old. We have never blocked or kept him from talking to you. So if you want, like always, you can call or text him".
She didn't.
he has filed the motion you
he has filed the motion you describe, he just hasn't had her served yet and the hearing hasn't taken place....
OK OK Cocktail, you made your
OK OK Cocktail, you made your point.
DH wasn't trying to act like a judge and jury. Believe it or not, he was trying to do right by SS. He gave her one too many chances to get clean without taking it to court. You have to remember, he remembers a time when BM was a good person. When she worked 3 jobs and took care of herself and SS. I'm sure he was in a bit of denial about how truly BAD she has gotten.
Please, try to cut him some slack. He's just trying to be a good dad.
I too wish he would have done it a LONG time ago. But he didn't. And now we are just trying to make sure SS is protected and happy. I'm just grateful he wasn't seriously hurt when he was still spending time with her. She put him in a lot of sketchy situations.
that's the problem. another,
that's the problem. another, she DOES have custodial rights currently. BS's husband modified things on his own by telling meth mom how it was going to be, but never went to court to change.
As it stands on paper, meth mom has legal and physical custody, shared with BS's DH.
I agree with having SS stay
I agree with having SS stay with his friend while you and DH are at work -if possible.
She is quite the selfish one, isn't she? SS is there to meet her needs when she wants. Who cares about the trip that's important to him. It's all about BM, BM and BM.
This court hearing can not happen so enough.
Isn't she supposed to be in rehab?
Yes, she said she was
Yes, she said she was starting rehab on the 14th. Of course that didn't happen because... excuse.
No, it didn't happen because
No, it didn't happen because liar. It didn't happen because addict. It didn't happen because loser!!
All true.
All true.
This may sound harsh but
This may sound harsh but since she's not in rehab, may she get high and leave all of you alone until court.
I'm very glad your DH asked
I'm very glad your DH asked BM for her address. She would have reacted crazy now or whenever she figured it out after the fact. He's following the law, he is giving her every opportunity to prove she is fit even though we already know she doesn't and won't get her shit together by then. I do think you might want to call your local police station and ask them to get an eye on your house because you're under the impression your house could be vandalized by her while y'all are out of town. You might even want to consider a house sitter. I used to house sit for my aunts when I was younger; perhaps you can find a trustworthy young adult or friend that could stay there or check in. I know right now your might feel like you didn't do the right thing by telling BM about being served BUT you did. It might be the more chaotic road but it is the right one.