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All-nighter update

PolyMom's picture

So yesterday, I slept from 10:30ish till 1pm. Got up and dressed, my wonderful kids made grilled cheese for lunch. I woke up SS and told him he needs to be awake to get his sleep schedule back on track, and that I'd be pestering him all day if he didn't. DH read the email from our case manager on BPD, and said it really opened his eyes on dealing with SS. I hope it sticks. SS knew he was in deep shit after his behavior the other night, so he got up as soon as I woke him up. The kids wanted to play board games with me yesterday afternoon, so I invited SS to join us and he said yes. He brought a bible his mother gave him. He intends to use passages from it to get his GF back. They haven't spoken since the last week before school, and this obsessive relationship he has with her is the reason he's forcing himself into depression, cutting, death threats etc. I talked to him about it. I talked to him about putting himself in HER parents shoes, and what they would want for their daughter...and do they think a boy who cuts himself, and threatens suicide is someone they'd want in their daughter's life. I asked him if he'd want someone like that in DD11's life. He sat quietly. And I said, "You don't need to answer that, just think about it." DH told me later when he dropped SS for BM's visit that he really appreciated our conversation. DH came back with both SS (it's supposed to be BM's weekend with the kids, but not too sure if she doesn't want them, or if they just don't want to be there). We watched the Steve Jobs movie, and I passed out around 10 and went to bed. Got me 10 hours of sleep! HOORAY!

Jen31's picture

hi from your previous post it sounds like the poor kid has had a hard life and is on so many meds for a child. I would be taking his suicide threats very seriously if it was me. My first thought was if the meds could be causing half his issues. All 3 meds can have serious side effects of depression insomnia aggression psychosis mania suicidal thoughts and death. I remember taking adhd med and the side effects were so bad it changed me as a person, felt like a zombie with horrible mood swings and major insomnia. i started having anxiety and panic attacks and tremors like someone with parkinsons. After stopping the med I was back to my normal self and felt alive again. Couldn't imagine being a child on that many strong potent meds and not going crazy. Not saying he doesn't need them by any means but be careful and do some research. Its a huge epidemic right now in America doctors overly prescribing mind altering meds like those that are causing sever side effects organ failure and even death.

PolyMom's picture

It's quite possible he's having an adverse reaction to the meds. We are monitoring them closely. He goes in every month for a med check up, and he visits weekly with his therapist and case manager, who are all well-versed in the combination of meds he's on. We had a wicked tough weekend. After his behavior, we took away all his screens, and told him he's back to earning his privileges. We witnessed something akin to a toddler tantrum over "clean your room". Crying, wailing, punching walls in his room. I went up and said "are you going to be a danger to yourself or the property in this room? Do I need to call you an ambulance, or can you get this under control?" He calmed down. He demanded to speak with his father. I said "I tell you what. When you calm down, you come let us know and then we'll talk. We'll be downstairs paying bills." He really didn't take kindly to not being the center of DH's world. Personally, I think this is the aftershock, and what's to be expected because SS has been allowed to do whatever he wants for the past month. I think just setting clear boundaries, and sticking to them is the key. DH admits he's been spoiling him, mostly to "appease the evil god in the volcano" kind of way. If SS is appeased, he's quiet, and all is peaceful. Except when he decides he needs more attention. It's just no way to handle this. I told DH, I wish it was that simple: just let him camp out in the basement for the next 4 years until he's 18, and then kick him out. But it's not going to work that way. In no way would he be prepared to have a job, to upkeep an apartment, have a landlord put up with his bullshit etc. My guess is he'd end up on the streets dealing drugs, just because it's fast, easy money and requires little to no effort. Perfect storm of what's been brewing in my house.

Last night DH forgot to grab his cell phone when he got back from a visit with BM, and SS started txting him at 3:00 this morning. DH told me he's not sure SS can live with us anymore, because he can't be victim to being kept up all night when he has to get to work. Even if we took the cell phone away, he'd just be up banging our door down half the night.