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Manipulative Bio-Mom

Southern_belle's picture

I am the bonus mom to a precious 11 year old daughter. A little back ground..we get SD from Thursday after school until Monday before school. This year BM got a new job that doesn't allow her to take her to school so we have had her 95% of this year which means over an hour drive time to get her to school and home because we live the next town over. Not including having to pick her up from BM house so she can stay the night so we can take her to school. My SD has witnessed her mother being punched in the face by her ex-boyfriend, and a few days ago witnessed him punch her again when they were exchanging their son for visitation. BM mentally abuses SD and manipulates her, to the point SD feels worthless and scared to upset her BM. Last week BM dropped my SD off at work while having a panic attack and left her. Our SD has expressed to us she wants to live with us and brought it up to her BM. She proceeds to tell her that she can't live with us because she needs the child support to pay her bills. Then told her if she chooses to live with us she will never speak to her again and will also turn her grandparents and immediate family against my SD and will never see them again. That was the last straw for my husband and I and told her we wanted to meet so SD could pick where she wants to live. Our SD told us yesterday she will stay with her mom because she doesn't want to lose her family on BM side even though she wants to live with us. I just don't even know what to do anymore. Any advice?

Last In Line's picture

Hope y'all have been keeping a log of all the time you have had the kid. She should be paying YOU CS it sounds like.

Off to court you go...hi ho, hi ho.

furkidsforme's picture

Why would you put it in an 11 year old's head that they can choose where to live just by saying so?

GoingWicked's picture

Lawyer up.

Asking her to choose between her mom and her dad? Not good. That conversation should have never gone there. He should have, in the first place, reassured her mother that loves her very much, whether you believe it or not, SD needs to know it, and that the custody was a decision made between himself and BM. If full custody is what is best for your SD, he should speak to adults, you, his lawyer, his best friend, not his 11 year old daughter.

Now because of his actions you have a crazy BM on the defensive and your SD is now under even more stress.