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Graduation tickets

Sweet T's picture

Submitted by Sweet T on Thu, 04/28/2016 - 2:42pm

So here is a good one for you all. My oldest former stepson is graduating from high school. He gets 5 tickets. His mom has been with her fiance now for 11 years and has a great relationship with SS. STepson has two sets of grand parents and has asked ex DH's parents who live in Florida for the grandfather to present him with his scholarship award. So I am assuming that one or two of the tickets will go to them leaving BM's parents who live an hour away off the list ( SS is very close to them )

I am pretty sure ex will have a shit fit because he will not be able to bring his GF of 1 year or our BS who is 8. I know BM is putting off this conversation as she just had to go after him for reimbursement on having wisdom teeth pulled and he was a jerk even though he knew for 2 months this was happening.

So who gets to go to these things? Thoughts? I will step up and say if we were still married he would have had a fit if BS and I were not there as he felt his relationship upsurped hers. I will say I would have volunteered for BS and I to skip it and just go to the party.. and I have loved this kid since he was 7 :).

**** I AM NOT ATTENDING GRADUATION**** THIS IS A WWYTHINK kind of post***

Comments

Sweet T's picture

Submitted by Sweet T on Thu, 04/28/2016 - 3:25pm

Don't take this wrong, but the difference is I do not try and manage my ex. We are high conflict for sure, BUT I have accepted I have NO control over what happens on his time. It is tough because my child is 8, but as long as he is safe I let a lot go, follow my decree and treat his GF with kindness.

Sweet T's picture

Submitted by Sweet T on Thu, 04/28/2016 - 3:19pm

Down south, I was this boys step mom for 9 years and BM and I have been abused by our ex. Over the years we became good friends and both boys love me and I love them. I was emailing to see how he was doing after his wisdom teeth surgery.

We both dread dealing with him. He has told her I should not be invited to step sons grad party that she alone is paying for it.

I sat next to her at baseball games and school functions for years and am the one who cared for them during their father's visitation while he checked out. I am the one who stood up to him as he threatened to hit her with a baseball bat in front of our kids a month before he was arrested for dv against me.

I put this out here for people's thoughts on how tickets should be divided in general.

Sweet T's picture

Submitted by Sweet T on Thu, 04/28/2016 - 3:46pm

I am not going to the graduation. Even if we were still married I would have given my ticket to grandparents.

I have been invited to the party by BM and ss. My ex husband also had told her his brother is not to be invited. He actually tried to blackmail her last year over that. My ex is a special kind of crazy. We have an MMPII test to prove it.

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Thu, 04/28/2016 - 5:09pm

Parents and Step-parents first, extended family second to use extra tickets. In cases where feelings may be hurt, limit it to bio-parents only.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Thu, 04/28/2016 - 5:22pm

I say parents and grandparents first. Then step parents.

Sweet T's picture

Submitted by Sweet T on Fri, 04/29/2016 - 6:06am

Imo, I think these things should be parents, grandparents, siblings too. Ss16 is in the band so he will be there:).

Bs8 lovea big brother but let's face it, a ticket would be wasted on him if it could be used on a grand parent. In the same breath I will say that if they had enough tickets I would have let ex take him even though he only has every other weekend.

I feel bad for BM Aand SS18 because ex is going to be difficult. He was going to throw his own grad party for SS18 because he can't bully BM into not inviting his brothers family, forbade her from in inviting other of his family members as well as me.Now he says he can't afford to because SS18 had to have his wisdom teeth removed and he has to pay towards that. Like I said he even tried blackmailing her. Her family hates him because of his behavior over the last 20 years and at ss16'some confirmation a few years ago was so nasty to her at his party ( at her home paid for again entirely by her) that neither her or her fiance ( who will be her husband by that date after 11 years of dating) want him there.

Just for the record as I am only a BM now. Not all of us want money, deny time or are evil. Assholery is not genderspecific. Some of us are just trying to survive a bad situation that we escaped. My ex has been divorced for almost 12 years from BM1 and is difficult /abusive...the woman never asked for an increase in all those years and other than braces there were rarely any medical expenses. I personally paid our part of the 18 year olds braces and since we are divorced and he apparently can't get his new gf to pay his half he stuck BM with the entire bill even though they were medically necessary because of jaw alignment.