This may be long, so thank you for reading. I have been married a little over a year to man with a daughter. I feel so disrespected, and I've felt this way for so long, it's making very resentful and I don't know how to get past it. From the beginning of our marriage I have felt disrespected by DH, bm, & bm's mom. My DH & I had a break in, he thought it was bm's husband. I told him I no longer wanted bm coming in the house every day, sd is back and forth every day, bm wasn't polite to me in my own home, so the break in gave me further reason to not want her inside. DH & I fought for months, while I hid upstairs when bm arrived. Eventually DH realized bm has no reason to be in our home every single day, but by the time he changed it, 6 months later, I felt so disrespected & so uncomfortable in my own home I couldn't be happy about the change. She used our home as a storage unit, because she used to live there. I asked if she could get her things from the garage, so I could actually put my car in the garage. Months until she got her stuff, because DH didn't see why it was such a huge problem for me. I feel like my DH is more married to bm, than he is to me. The 2 of them are always texting, constantly chatting and making plans. Some of these plans affect me and my time, my home, but I am never included in the discussion, not even by DH, and my opinion isn't welcome. Sometimes I won't find out about plans, ones I'm involved in until the last minute. I have been pregnant twice through all of this. One miscarriage and one stillborn. DH & bm actually have discussions about me during this, bm talks negatively about me & DH listens. Bm & bm's mom, judged me for my miscarriage and stillborn son & I can't get past it. Saying things like, I don't see why you can't care for sd this week. Ugh I gave birth. I need to physically heal and I'm an emotional basket case. I need space and time to heal with DH. A week isn't asking a whole lot, after such a thing. Bm says, when my grandfather died when I was little, we moved on, my mom didn't send me with someone else, he (my stillborn son) wasn't even a baby, I don't see what she's so upset about. A grandparent dying is a normal life event, how can you compare that. Congrats to her on not caring about her grandfathers death and not grieving, but I was grieving the death of my son and being judged for it. It hurt me to the core and I have hated her and her mother ever since, because bm's mom gave DH the same speech. I do not know how to get past what was said, I find it unforgivable. I don't understand how a woman could be so cruel about such a thing. It feels like my DH cares more about what his xgf thinks, than he does what his wife thinks. He respects her more, if he can plan things out with her and leave me completely uninvolved in decisions including ones that affect me. All I want, is to be a part of the discussion, when it affects me. Is it too much to ask? I don't know how to move past all the hurt. I don't know what to do. I just want to feel like I matter and like I'm a part of things, like my place in raising my sd is respected, and like my DH respects me and values my opinions. I want to feel like I'm married to my husband, I don't want to feel like my DH is more married to his xgf, particularly one that entered my home scowling at me, continued to enter my home knowing I didn't want her there, used my home as a storage space disrespecting my space even further, no say in my own home, and then disrespected and judged me for grieving my babies. I don't know what to do, but I needed to vent in an environment I may be understood in. Again thank you for reading.