Why are you waiting in the truck? Why are you involved with homework? As a step, take a step back. Let the parent do all this crap!

You really need to reassess what you what YOU want from a relationship.

Why do you WANT to stay in this relationship where YOU give everything to bring a brat up which is not your and neither parent wants to actually parent. And everything is your fault.

Why do you WANT to give up everything for this selfish man, who expects you to pay for his son, yet won't let have a baby, a new dog, a happy life.

I think you would be better off alone, with your dog and friends then this poor excuse of a man.

I'm sick of dh constantly NOT following the visitation schedule and CONSTANTLY picking up ss from school early and bringing him back late past scheduled drop off time!
Stop making your schedule around anything to do with his schedule and this won't bother you anymore. You may feel like strangers passing in the night but eventually DH will figure out that you have disengaged.

I'm tired of BM not being home when we drop ss off and we have to sit in the truck and make phone calls because BM family "didn't hear the door".

Stop going with him to drop off's or pick ups- see above-- you won't be able to be there because you will be BUSY

I'm tired of buying food and ss not eating dinner because he " don't feel good" and dh makes him something else!
Stop cooking either one of them food and stop buying it.

I'm tired of our apartment looking like a disaster EOW because dh feels guilty about "adulting" on ss time! I'm tired of ss room looking like a gdamn land mine!
Just start throwing extra random shi* in his room, even he will wonder wth is going on.

I'm tired of BM constantly letting ss stay home from school for absolutely moronic reasons, especially on our days, then texting dh at work so he is a worried mess about ss.
Your DH will have to cure this one but for you it is easy--IGNORE bc it is not your child

I'm tired of BM not doing ss reading homework and we get treated like the "bad guy" for making him read 20 minutes each day we have him like he is SUPPOSED TO DO!!
You are the bad guy bc you are not his parent so DH should be the only one reminding skid to read-- NOT you bc see above, you will be BUSY

I'm tired of covering more of dh share for our living expenses because dh can't rely on anyone to get ss off the bus so he "can't work" past 2pm on visitation days.

What would DH do without you? I bet you don't know huh? Well, this is all the more reason to find out right now what he would do. STOP paying for his child. This is almost like a top 5 rule of being a step parent.

I'm tired of never having a romantic evening out like when we were dating!
You should go out without DH a few times, I bet you that he gets his ass in high gear when he see's you leaving for a girls night out

I'm tired of always being tired!!!!
Once you stop all the stuff you listed above you will sleep like a baby.

DH just left with ss AT the time ss is supposed to be BACK with BM because he just discovered ss has a fever and decided to throw a mantrum ten minutes before he was supposed to be out the door, exclaiming about "why don't we have any gdamn children's fever reducer!!"

Tell DH he is right, he should make sure he has the supplies that a child of HIS requires. Screw him, what are you a nurse now? PS- you are not skids mother or father

And yelling "I HATE THIS LIFE"...LIKE ITS MY FAULT HE HAS A PAST!!
I would let him know that you completely understand where he is coming from, you are starting to hate your own life

maybe if he focused on being a DAD and not a BUDDY these things wouldn't happen?!? I don't know what is worse, dealing with dh moods when BM wouldn't allow him to see ss out of spite, or dh mood swings now that we have a set schedule and he is realized it's not a " walk in the park" or "easy" being a parent!!! Aaargh!!!
If you disengage right now you will FORCE him to be a parent. AGAIN- what would he do if you weren't there should be your mantra.

Take the rest of this week and own it girl!! You got this.
DISENGAGE and breathe.