I always wish someone would tell these rotund brides that these kinds of dresses make them look like 10 pounds of sausage in a 5 pound casing.

I'm a chunky gal myself.... finding a flattering dress was HARD, but thank god I had a dead honest maid of honor to keep me out of trouble!

Of course, YOU can't do it. Because you are evil SM and you are *just jealous* that she's *so beautiful*.

Definitely know what you mean about wearing a dress so tight it looks like three pigs are fighting it out under a blanket.

Have you thought about stepmother wedding etiquette? Or, should I say, what SD and her mom and wedding planner will make up and throw at you and dad as SM wedding etiquette? That is, even if they are "considerate" enough to give you a heads-up on it prior to the rehearsal. SM etiquette always seems like a contradiction to me. Every other couple will be treated as a couple at wedding, except for dad and his wife. Don’t get it all.

I can just see the bride. Let’s see what etiquette recommends for a wedding. Hmm, my boyfriend is supposed to ask my father for my hand in marriage. “What a joke, that’s from 100 years ago.” Hmm, no sex until after marriage. “What a joke that is from 100 years ago.” Hmm, I’m supposed to wear a modest gown.” What a joke that is from 100 years ago.” Hmm, Oh!, SM is supposed to sit several rows back away from her husband during the ceremony and sit at the old folks table at the reception. “Oh yeah! I like that one!!!”

Shouldn’t say this, but would not be surprised. Don’t get me wrong, I wish every SM the best; however, I think we get caught off guard a lot and way too much. At my SD’s wedding, about a year ago, not only was I shut out 100% and not even treated like a guest, but I had to unexpectedly watch my DH escort BM down the aisle, arm in arm (something my counselor said she had never heard of years after a divorce). And, BM had the audacity to bring her latest BF along, the same one she was having an affair with years ago while she was still married to DH! DH and I had been married for 13 years at the time. That was when I had it thrown in my face, manipulative, controlling BM and weak, enabling DH = step hell. There's more that went on that day, but making a long story short.

Actually, both my husband and I were Shanghaied, and I get it that DH had no clue either, and what was he supposed to do when right after he handed out the programs, the minister came up to him and told him to take BM’s hand and walk her down the aisle and then come back and get his daughter (p.s., of course I expected him to walk his daughter down the aisle), but really! What a ruse! In hindsight and after talking with several people about this, they felt we were set up for this ahead of time by all involved.

I wasn’t mad at SD that day and even BM. I was furious at DH, and still am to a certain degree, even a year plus later. At the end of the day, they were all acting like I didn’t exist, including my own DH after 13 years of marriage and spending countless hours of what I thought was quality time with SKs. It was just way too convenient for everyone to throw me under the bus and suffer no consequences. Or so they thought.

But, BM got what she wanted. She wanted to show off the couple of men she spawned with and, more importantly, wanted to show off that she still had their balls all tucked up nice and neatly in her purse ready for her to manipulate at a moment’s notice. AND, that is why I say what I say below↓, with 100% love and well-meaning intention for step-mothers everywhere.

ETA: And this is: "Best thing for step-mom to do at weddings--either go looking like Sofía Vergara in a red dress and play the flaming 2nd wife to the max., or avoid the whole thing and plan a spa day with friends, people who actually care about you."

Hit the salon, go shoping for the perfect dress (color be damned), walk in radiating happiness and confidence.

The good thing about cockroaches is that they scurry for dark corners when a light is thrown on in a dark room.  Be the light, the roaches will scurry.

Wedding Etiquette.  Usually I’m not a big fan of wedding etiquette, per se, since it usually seems to be used in whatever manner so as to inflict as much discomfort on dad’s wife as possible, BUT I’ve just gone through “The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book, 4th edition, by Holly Lefevre.  On the back it states, “Your essential guide to the modern wedding,” and mentions dealing with unhappy stepfamilies.  So, I had to at least glance through it, of course.

Have to say, I was at least somewhat impressed (and that’s saying a lot for me).  What impressed me the most is that when it came to stepfamilies and where people sit, she stated quite clearly to get permissions from all parties involved.  She stated this a couple of times.  So, NO, it us not automatically just whatever the bride and groom wants, so suck it up !#@$! SM.  Also, what I found interesting, is that she recommended not seating exes that closely together EVEN IF they get along.  Here are some good quotes:

“The basic principle of etiquette can be summed up simply as the idea of not offending, embarrassing or upsetting others.”  (Aside: That sure as H- wasn’t followed at my SD’s wedding!)  “You should always invite significant others of married guests, engaged couples, couples who live together, and those who are generally considered to be a couple.” 

This was advice to a groom that didn’t want to invite his stepfather: “To invite your mother without her husband would be awkward, rude and offense to your mother.  If you insist on excluding your stepfather, you should discuss it first with your mother.”  Parents are not considered members of the wedding party, contrary to popular belief.  “The head table is usually reserved for the members of the wedding party.  Parents usually sit at separate tables with their families.”  “Divorced parents should not be seated at the same table, no matter how well they get along.”   More on that below. . .

This is the author’s response to the question:  Should ex-spouses or ex-in-laws be invited?  The author’s response is basically No, but what I found more interesting is what she goes on to say:  “Even if you think your relationship has evolved to a certain level and you feel okay inviting your ex, you may feel differently later or when the day comes.  Additionally, it can be confusing if you have children together and awkward for many of the guests to see your “old” wife, for instance, at an event meant to ring in the new.”  I think this plays into what there has been a lot of discussion about lately, and that is that being friendly-friendly with the ex is not a good thing, as it causes confusion for the kids and can be awkward for many others.