SD20 needs to move out!

Forums:

I am a step-father and have no bio kids. I have on SD20. I have been married to my wife for 13ys and we have had custody of SD the entire time. I am it is getting to the point where I no longer feel welcome in my own house. I feel like wife and SD20 have created a tight bond and I am only a guest. SD20 has never had a job and only has 2 classes per semester. Wife puts SD20 to bed every night when we go to bed and spends 20-30 min in her room talking and wonders why I am a sleep when she comes to bed and not in the mood to get it on. Because SD 20s schedule is only 2 afternoon classes she will also stay up later than we do, but when we are sleeping wake us up to make my wife make her lunch or wash the specific outfit she wants to wear for the next day. When I complain about this behavior I am told that I am jealous. I have suggested that DS20 get a job or move out. I have been told that she is not ready to make that step and it is inappropriate for us to mention that because she needs to feel that she always will have a place in our home and that we will always take care of her.

Any advice on how to get wife to see that it is time for her not so baby girl to move out?

To get a woman that still

To get a woman that still does the laundry for and makes the food for a 20 year old and still puts her to bed?? Um. Yeah, I agree with tommar. You're screwed. Your wife has no interest in changing and apparently is fond of having her adult child still totally dependent on her. Your wife needs some therapy but I seriously doubt she'd be willing to go or to listen to what a therapist had to say.

The only approach I can think of is "what would happen to SD if we died tomorrow?" If you can present it from the perspective of needing to help SD develop life skills because the usual norm is not that parents bury their children.... your wife will Not always be around to take care of her. But I wouldn't expect your wife to put much stock in it...

Yeap, you're screwed. That's

Yeap, you're screwed. That's completely inappropriate for DW to be making food, doing laundry and tucking in at bedtime for an ADULT. Both of them are happy so nothing is going to change.

Same thing happened to my

Same thing happened to my husband and I his eldest daughter was same age, but when we forced her hand she called the cops and lied said my husband abused her, put her head through a wall and her hand through a window etc. When cops showed up no evidence showed on her body or in our house of domestic violence or on her persons. 4 months later she put him in jail because of his past record 20 years ago. My husband spent 6 mknths in jail before the vase was finally dropped because thwir was no evidence. Needless to say we haven't talked to her in 3 years she is now 22 and has a 2 year old daughter we've never seen or meet. Don't care to either

Just be careful trying to make SD do something you want at that age. We never thought ours would call the cops and make up such outrageous lies and the law actually believe it. I suggest going wit SD to find an apartment get her some house warming gift and make her feel good about being independant.