Hmmm. Never thought about that...but I do usually say "your dad" when I'm talking to skids about DH. They're teens...but I've been doing it since they were 8, 10, and 12.

my second ex-husband.

I say "your dad".

Your dad gives them ownership. My husband gives you ownership. Try saying "Dad went to the shops". A therapist taught me this. We've changed how we refer to the parents in the house and it has made a huge difference with the children.

when talking to skid about my DH I will say "your dad" or " your father". Because thats what he is unfortunately (some days). With my own son I refer to DH by name.

I just say "dad"
To both skids and my kids.
"I think dad went out to the pool"
"dad's waiting in the car"
It was too hard to say your Dad, your step dad or first name of DH depending on which and who's kid I was talking to.

I refer to exH as "your father" kids quickly caught on that DH was Dad and ExH was Father.

My bios don't call him dad, they call him by his first name.

I usually say your dad but after reading this I want to drop the your.

I love this post! I'd never thought about it --- I do call him "your Dad" to adult Skids but will drop the 'your' from now or use his first name.... I'm going to reserve the "my husband" for use in front of the Ex at a tricky upcoming wedding where she's been a complete b*tch....

"Dad". But if needed based on circumstance, i'll occasionally pull out the trump card of "my husband". It's rare tho' since they live w/ us and already know that boundary!

I don't know, I call him what I like. If an adult skid or any other adult didn't like it, for that matter, they can become acquainted with my backside.

"Your Dad". I feel a little guilty at times because of course I tell my children to talk to "Daddy", and I can turn around and say to SD24 "your dad". I'm *almost* tempted to say "Dad" when talking to SD24, but it just feels odd. She's an adult, and I'm clearly not her mother, so I'm sure she gets it. Who knows, maybe she also feels weird when introducing me to people she knows and it's always "This is my Dad and z3girl", not "my dad's wife". I sometimes wonder if these people all have heard of us and thus know I'm his wife? Meh.

dupe

I address my DH by his first name to his kids. When I am addressing DH in front of my skids; I address him as "dear, honey, sweetheart, whatever shows affection at the time". I always address him the same as if we were alone. So Skids can just suck it up. I may think of addressing DH otherwise at times, but I always try to stay respectful. }:)

P.S. When I am having conversation in front of all the skids, I always use the words "we, ours", anything showing joint ownership. SD hates the idea we have anything "together"; SS's not so much. You can just see the hate in SD, when I refer to us as "joint".

Depending on the situation. I thought about this a few months ago too. One person referred to "my husband" when the step child was being disrespectful towards her husband. She immediately was setting the boundaries. "Don't talk to my husband that way, it is disrespectful". Then there is times where you would possibly use "your dad" when it is something that the child is asking "hey do you know where my dad is?" you would most likely automatically respond"oho your dad is outside going to mow the lawn" it may sound defensive for that child if you said " my husband is outside mowing the lawn". Depending on the set up in your home, and taking in consideration the situation. My spouses biological son JUST came into my spouses and our lives not even a year ago. He is 12. I was referring to my spouse by his first name at the beginning, and sometimes still do. It was just natural for me, and because the situation was so new. Even on the Christmas present I put from my name, my spouses name, and my kids name. My spouse pointed it out to me, that he did not feel comfortable with that as he wants to be referred as "dad" because he is his dad. I think this is more of a pride thing for my spouse though. It is a long story and I wrote about my situation on a forum recently. However, my spouse has his own STEP kids. Very confusing. Before we started to date, he was in a previous and serious relationship with several years and his girlfriend had two children. My spouse raised them with her as their father did not have much contact, did not pay child support and my spouse took it upon himself to be the father role model, the kids looked at him as a dad. His step kids did not call him dad though, they called him by his first name. My spouse probably would of totally fine if they called him dad though. He refers to them as his kids.. "my son" " my daughter" sometimes it would be "step daughter" sometimes not, depending who he was talking to. when speaking to people, and when we started dating, I took it upon myself to have to explain to people they are not his kids, but step kids. People often wondered how old my spouse was to have children that old. I felt super weird about it. I would never refer to " your dad" to his step kids, ever. It is always first name. His step kids are over often too, but they are 18 now.

To OSD I refer to DH by his name, but with YSD it's "your Dad"

OSD makes it very clear I'm nothing to her, she won't even recognize me as her SM which I am. Usually when she introduces us to someone she'll say "this is my Dad DH" and then after a pause just long enough to be uncomfortable she'll add "and his wife" and this is in improvement!

In the past she would just say "this is my Dad" and then leave it hanging there, absolutely no mention of me even though I was standing right beside DH and obviously with him!

DH used to jump in and say that I was OSD's SM, or his wife.

But then I just waited for her nonsense, after introducing DH only, I would say in a bright happy tone "and I'm Disillusioned" just like referring to DH he to her I use his name...never thought of the "my husband" thing haha

Oh and when I'm introducing OSD, it is always "this is my husbands daughter" - that's how she wants it.

YSD, well she is my SD of course!

Your rockin' sexy well endowed papa who satisfies me so completely }:)

It depends on the context of the discussion. "Your mom", "My wife", both equally accurate. If a toxic Skid took exception to "My wife" I think the term "Your mom" would drop from my lexicon of vocab for quite some time. Particularly if the Skid is an adult or older teen.

I had an awkward moment one time when someone called SD my 'daughter' in front of her. It was after a particularly trying weekend with SD with her yelling at me and being hostile. I replied, "She's my step-daughter." At that point I really didn't care what she thought. I always referred to DH as 'Your Dad' to SD, never "My Husband", but I wish I WOULD have thought of it. LOL

I'm definitely going to say MY HUSBAND if I ever see or speak to the Skids again. Seems very claiming and appropriate when considering disrespectful Skids.

I say Dad to my SS17 and 18. I don't communicate with my SD20 often, so it hasn't come up in years. She, however, did not like my DH referring to me as his wife. She said it was "fake"... She then asked me if I referred to her as her dad's daughter. She was floored when I said, "Of course, I do. You are his daughter. Why not???". This happened during a family therapy session, where usually I was disrespected. Not so much by the stepkids, but by the therapists. Sorry for going off topic!

I call my husband by his name, my skids are adults and thay know his name, so that's what I refer him as. If I am meeting someone for the first time and they are associated with skids I introduce myself as there stepmom even know they refer to me only as my name.... SD: this is (my name) and that's it. Therefore I say: Hi I'm SD's stepmom. But I ALWAYS refer to my husband with his kids by his name