Will Advice needed
We are in process of doing a will. My husband married me and my 2 young daughters moved in to his flat 22 years ago. We then had a son together who is 22. We have since moved to another property and it is in joint names split 50-50. We are doing our wills and I want all my all my 3 children to be looked after. We decided to split the following way 50% for our son together and my daughters get 25% share, thought this was fair as my husband has cared for my daughters as well as his son. He introduces them as his daughters and has pride in the grandchildren which again he introduces as his own. The problem is our son has made it clear that this is not fair and he should inherit all his dad's assets and a third of my assets thus getting 67% of assets. To me this sounds totally unreasonable from my son, but he has said that he would feel robbed of what he is entitled to if it was split 50-25-25. So should I agree to him having 67% and my daughters getting less. Advice please. If we go for 50-25-25 split will my son be able to contest the will. :?
Whilst I agree with your son
Whilst I agree with your son it is highly inappropriate for children to dictate what goes into a parents will, it should be your husbands decision and his alone as to how he allocates his 50%.
Problem is son thinks husband
Problem is son thinks husband would want to leave all to him, and I'm influencing him. This is not true as I have aid to husband if he wants to leave all to son that is his decision but I would then split mine 50-50 with daughters so I know all my children will be financially benefitted. Our son has had everything on a plate our fault I know, but he has also received lump sum from his grandparent towards buying a property. He also lives with us and makes no contributions as we are allowing him to save for a property so I don't or can't understand why my son thinks he is entitled to it all. My daughters were 9 & 11 when we married and my husband has been their dad, their real dad has never contributed to their upbringing or financially maintained for them.
Because he turned up the day
Because he turned up the day he had promised to take them on holiday and said if he gave me maintenance the girls couldn't go on holiday. Was I supposed to say tough and the girls see me as baddie. I got job after that and did not want to go through Courts to try and get money that he would say he didn't have. I took the decision to not get into arguments or poison my daughters against him, they would make their own minds up when they got older and they have. I have seen people get into arguments over this and the children are caught in the middle, I didn't want my daughters to be caught in the middle. I brought them up on my own for 4 years before I remarried.
Yes, that is what a parent
Yes, that is what a parent would do. Ensure the long term support of their children even if they look mean to children one time.
My daughters never missed out
My daughters never missed out and I gave them long term support. I also ensured their wellbeing by not alienating them from their dad, he managed to do that on his own.
So your exH is out of the
So your exH is out of the picture either way, except now you don't get to take his tax refund for your kids college funds. I get that you have provided for them which is great. But you are denying your kids money that is theirs. Maybe they dont need it now, but for a down payment on a house or study abroad or something.
How do you get money out of a
How do you get money out of a stone, he has always plead poverty. My daughters went to uni, one is a specialist nurse, they have not been disadvantaged by ex not contributing. I would not be a money grabber if it meant my kids suffer mentally I would rather they be happy & healthy than be brought up in an atmosphere. Maybe I'm wrong but my kids growing up without rows over money have made them into what they are today, great mothers.
Your son is not "entitled" to
Your son is not "entitled" to anything and cannot and should not dictate what goes into the will. In fact, none of them should even know what's in the will or how anything will be split. They are adults and should be relying on themselves, not what they may get when you and your DH pass.
I would have it in the will that anyone who contests it, gets nothing.
maybe we were wrong
maybe we were wrong discussing will, but last thing I want is my daughters to feel neglected from their step dad who has brought them up financially and lovingly, their real dad has never contributed to them instead giving all his redundancy to new wife and stepchildren. I love all my children but wanted to be fair and to make my daughters feel part of both myself and stepdad.
Because he has not got any,
Because he has not got any, all the money he has had he has spent on cars and holidays. He is now on income support.
I would pull my son up short
I would pull my son up short on this one. It's not HIS call who gets what. My parents TOLD me what was in their will, I sure didn't dictate the terms to them. He should be saying "thank you," not "give me more." He's already getting more!
I agree with you entirely, he
I agree with you entirely, he says it's not about money but what he is entitled to as bio son. I have tried to explain that his dad is their step dad and has brought them up so might not be bio but when asked how many children he has he always answers 3.
It's what he is CHOOSING to
It's what he is CHOOSING to do.
Just because a kid is your
Just because a kid is your bio kid doesn't mean anything. My bio parents don't have anything to leave me so what does that mean? I am entitled to nothing and that is the same as your child. I don't know why you would even have discussed it with him to begin with but because you did you opened it up for him to tell you how he feels and NOW you have to tell him how it is.
I say leave his portion to a local charity, he sounds well taken care of in adulthood and like he is spoiled rotten.
It is irrelevant what your
It is irrelevant what your son thinks or wants.
This is you and your husbands decision. I would do exactly what you want to do and not discuss further with your son. If he asks tell him you have made your decision its your will and this decision made is your wishes.
Also imo ...i would also consider start charging him rent and get him to start thinking about supporting himself!!
He also lives with us and
He also lives with us and makes no contributions
Your son sounds like a spoiled brat. I'd tell him he's basically spending his inheritance now, by living off of you and not contributing anything.
The "I love you will" is more
The "I love you will" is more common in first marriages when the parents have an equal stake in making sure all kids are taken care of. With second marriages this is not the case. Everyone is naturally going to look out for their own. I have seen it on this forum a bunch, posters will say, leave it all to the surviving spouse (usually SM since men die first) and then whatever money is left when I die will be split amongst the kids. However some people will also say that means for the 15 years SM is without DH she has the incentive to spend as much of that money as possible having fun and spoiling her bios and by the time she dies there will be just enough money left for the burial. So it is equal in that all kids get nothing but her bios will have the benefit of that money for 15 years whereas DHs bios will get nothing of the money he worked so hard for.
That's also exactly how my MIL explained it to my DH, and that is why right after he got divorced they encouraged him to put the bulk of his assets in an irrevocable trust for the skids.
We have split property 50-50
We have split property 50-50 so as to protect or ring fence half the estate, so if one of us ends up in a care home the other half can't be touch to pay for it. After reading all the comments we are going to stick with original and if he don't like it when we dead he can spend his own money to contest it. Going to sign on Friday so will ask solicitor what would happen if it is contested and who would pay.
Thanks for replies have helped me to focus.
A will is between 2 adults.
A will is between 2 adults. While the son can make suggestions, it is not his say as to what he gets/doesn't get in a will.
I would say that the formula
I would say that the formula your BS-22 recommended is fair from a genetic perspective. The problem is he does not get to decide the distribution of assets in YOUR Will or DH's Will. Since your DH has raised your daughters as his own since they were "young" I would say everything in thirds is the way I would go. DS gets no say at all.
Or... tell your son he needs to pull his head out of his butt, STFU, and be pleasant or he gets nothing. Distribution of an inherritance is not something a beneficiary gets an opinon on. IMHO oc course.
Your DS seems to have unresolved issues regarding his elder sisters. Apply some consequences and motivate him to pull his head out and be a decent person rather than an entitlement minded brat with a superiority complex.
My SS-23 is an only child in our family and his Sperm Clan collectively does not have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. He gets everything should my bride and I check out at the same time (with stilations). DW and I are the sole heir to each other should one of us pre-decease the other.
The stipulations ..... }:) He gets squat until he either turns 40 or completes a Bachelor's degree from a regionally accredited college or university whichever comes first.