I think I'm too old to be a full-time stepmother. I should have never married a man with younger kids.
Here goes... Same old story. I love him but can handle the kids.
We've had custody for about six months now. I have a BS 23 and a BD 13. His kids are 7 and 9. I've been raising kids for 23 years and just tacked on another 6 years on to raising kids. Being 43 almost 44, that'll make me 56 until I completely have them graduated. And I know it doesn't stop there. I feel guilty, but I'm so overwhelmed. My youngest is old enough and responsible enough that I no longer need a sitter for the first time in 23 years. If I would have ever known this was going to happen, I would have never married him. The skids were raised so differently than mine were. To me, they are very annoying. To my husband, they are golden. He thinks the world should think his kids are as great as he thinks they are. It's leading us down a dangerous road. I don't know how this can possibly ever work. I've become withdrawn. We live in my house that I had before I met my husband. And now I feel like a stranger in my own home. I'm feeling like fight or flight has to kick in soon.
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Hang in there. It's a long
Hang in there. It's a long complicated road that you've entered. And as a parent, he should think his kids are great. I am sure you think yours are.
I feel your pain. Although
I feel your pain. Although all three of mine PASed out, Chef will be paying CS (if I stay with him) until I'm at the very earliest, 63. I'm 55 now and have been with Chef for 11 years. His youngest was a toddler when Chef and the BM broke up. Chef is eight years younger than me. The BM is 12 years younger than me.
My youngest was 17 at the time I met Chef; my oldest was out of the house and getting ready to get married.
If you can bail, bail now. I HIGHLY recommend it.
Cougaring ain't all it's cracked up to be.
On the "my kids are golden" scenario. Are they really golden or is he just breaking out the industrial strength turd polish and donning the opaque rose coloured glasses?
My dh used to think that his
My dh used to think that his kids farted glitter. He learned real quick that he could think what he wanted, but I really didn't care to hear it. He was welcome to share all of the cuteness and glitter farts that our kids do.
Those kids are pretty young still. If you don't want to do it then I would be kicking them to the curb and find a nice guy with older kids.
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I thank all of you for your
I thank all of you for your honesty and time. Sorry I put this on here then walked away. I've had a busy week and weekend. His kids aren't horrible. They are just loud mouthy and messy. If it were my kids, I'd yell at them. But I have a hard time yelling at his kids. I just keep asking them to do things like clean their room for example. It doesn't get done unless I ask my DH to tell them. Then he's POed at me for wanting it done. The one has horrible hygiene, in which I've been working with diligently. I'm a clean freak and that is something I can't tolerate. Things are better than they were on day one.
When I DH and I started dating, BM and him were in a custody battle. She fought tooth and nail to keep her kids. She was the biggest a** when it came to everything being by her rules... so controlling! I never would have dreamed she would mess up and lose them. But now here we are. She can't even have visitation until she goes through the courts. She can't stay clean long enough to start this process. We do get breaks on weekends from other family members. And that helps.
I guess when I think about it, my DH is the biggest problem. He doesn't understand my stress. Every day he helps out less and puts more of the responsibility on me. If anyone is reading this that hasn't got married yet, think long and hard. I never would have thought that I would become a full-time SM. I feel like I've completely lost control of my house. Some days I just want to walk away.
I'm no longer happy. I appear to be, but I'm not. I thought about getting on some antidepressants, but a pill isn't going to make me suddenly like this life. I am considering seeing a psychologist. Which is kind crazy, I took 5 psychology classes in college. I know what the problem is.
Never never never get
Never never never get involved with a man that has kids younger than yours. I can't stand his kids and now I'm stuck raising them... full-time! He works out of town and I'm here all alone to deal with them. His family doesn't live near. It's just me. My husband treats me like shit...I hate him too. I'm so trapped.