DH and I have had a hell of a year. DH is one month in remission after a battle with non-Hodgkins lymphoma, diagnosed this past July. He suffers psoriatic arthritis, and his legs just started bothering him again. His two boys are at the mercy of a 50/50 living situation, and now SS13 lives with us 100% because BM is mentally unstable, and he refuses to live with her. Law guardian took care of that. SS13 is being placed in a new school due to belligerence...he refuses to do his work, he'll purge when he does go to school so he can come home, when he's at school he swears at teachers...etc. SS10 is already on the "can only do homework at mom's" train, following in the footsteps of his brother. I have 2 children who are doing great, amidst this chaos. Life is very stressful.

I have been trying very hard to stand by DH, as his health has been very difficult. Today SS13 had an interview at a second location for a special needs school. The appointment was at 11. DH requested we stop at Burger King for lunch. We cam home, and DH started stressing about having to go to work. I was very much in "we are not enforcing clear boundaries on these kids, and we really need to discuss that. For example, SS13 cannot spend the rest of the day sleeping and playing with 'toys' all day. What is he going to do? DH asked me what I think he should do. I was like "He's supposed to be in school." So DH said he'd bring him to school. Only, SS13 was in the bathroom, and taking forever, so DH said he had to go to work because he had a meeting where he's presenting, and he's done nothing to prepare, and asked me to bring SS13 to school.

I agreed. 30 minutes pass. I tell SS13 I need to take him to school. He tells me he needs to go to the bathroom, and proceeds to call DH at work. DH txts me that since most of the day is over, SS13 can stay home. Mentions nothing of the fact that SS13 is calling him from the bathroom. Consequently, I flip my lid. I think a few dishes in the sink are broken. The other kids are coming home from school in about 10 minutes, and I have piano lessons to teach, beginning in about 30 minutes. I'm totally freaking out. I can't deal with all of this angst. I want to disengage, but then I feel guilty because of DH's health. I don't know what to do.