You are here

BM away on holidays

gaviotas's picture

BM is going away for about 3 weeks (including Christmas & New Year) on her own. She said she had bought the ticket and that we should take care of SD.
We only have 10 days leave so after that, it is not possible for us to stay at home with SD, as she will be on school break.
My kids are still in kindergarden so they have a normal schedule. What really bothers me is that she should have arranged with DH previously to buy the ticket. And her words were: Take care, handle it... Instead of a polite request. We are talking about a girl, not a dog or a pet.
BM has been single for about 6 months now, so I guess she is resentful and trying to sabotage our marriage with constant calls, changing schedules and with this mandatory holidays and always rude, impolite.
We still have to solve who is going to stay with SD for about 10 days...

Snowflake's picture

Wow, must be nice for her to just inform you that you are taking her kid. As if you don't have a life or jobs. Which is why a parenting plan is your friend.

Scheduling for care at the last minute is $$$. Could you try the ymca for daycare? When the bm of my skids was single, she was always scheduling extra time with us. Which could not happen because my he worked second shift and weekends and I don't babysit. The reason I wasn't going to babysit was because it would have been open season on her accusing me of being mean. If they were together she would have had to deal with it, just as I had to deal with my husband schedule and watching our kids full time.

Must be nice to be able to just take off. I get time away from my kids about 5 hours every 4 months for a random date night

gaviotas's picture

thank you snowflake.
The exact same words I said to my DH, "BM needs to adjust to DH´s schedule, and plan the holidays beforehand, and of course has better manners.
We had some incidents recently e.g calls early on Sunday morning, changing the time for visits at unusual times and locations and $$$ as well.
DH is always saying yes to her demands, that is really bothering me. :O

gaviotas's picture

Yes, I expect that from my DH as well, but the beginning of the year is the most demanding time for him, due to the nature of his job. DH may be out from 6AM to 10 PM or more.
I will disengage, SD will have to stay with someone else, or BM will have to change the ticket or why not take SD with her?

gaviotas's picture

With this short notice, we could not find anyone available, may be a place similar to YMCA.
DH will talk to her again, and also will ask ex MIL about the situation.
That is my point as well: "how she dares to dropp off the child like this? I would never leave my kids like this and specially for Christmas season.
She is selfish, and does not care about the wellbeing of the kid.

gaviotas's picture

she told my DH last Saturday (11-28-2015) by text message, and later in person.
I say no, I can´t take days off from work, and the nannies I know are not available. A good choice would be her parents, as you said.