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Twins completely freak out when they can't see daddy or me.

Blownxxapart's picture

To give you a bit of background, I'm the BD's gf and he had two and a half year old twins. Last week on tues, BD got the BM's new boyfriends information to run a background check. It came up that he had multiple felonies, but the two that caused us to completely panic was that he had sexual battery by one under eighteen on a child under 12 and battery and each were adjudicated delinquent. We were panicking because she lives with the new bf and she was granted two overnights per week. BM agreed with BD that the new bf wouldn't be allowed under the same roof with the new bf (they had been before we knew about his record), but she lied and he was there. There was a verbal altercation during the pick up. The issue BD and I are now experiencing is that the twins are having complete and total meltdowns when either BD or I aren't in their line of sight. They have always been okay with playing with toys while we did stuff around the house, but I had gone into the bedroom yesterday and BD had gone to the bathroom (both were right off the living room where the kids had been playing, there was only a door between each of us and them) and they completely lost it. This is the third day we've been dealing with this. I'm worried maybe something happened with the new bf during the visit, but bm said she slept in the room with the twins. Last night, I talked to BDs cousin, whom BD and BM had stayed with the twins when they were together, and she stated that she would catch BM locking the twins in a room when she didn't want to deal with them. There's a whole mess and I am honestly completely lost with what to do. Has anyone dealt with this or have any ideas?

Maxwell09's picture

Honestly it's probably just their age. Around 2-3 years old they become attached to their cartakers more so than before. When my SS was around that age he would cry at drop off or pickup. Sometimes he cried when BM came to take him and sometimes he cried when BM was dropping him off. It's just their age.

I hope BM isn't locking them away when she's tired of dealing with them. That's horrible. Unfortunately you can't really use hearsay against her in court. But maybe your DH could talk to her and let her know that she's more than welcome to just bring them back home and get them another time when she's feeling frustrated.

notarelative's picture

You can't use hearsay in court, but you can use the BF's record of sexual battery.

If you are sure that he has a record of sexual battery, call children's services and report it. They will investigate and inform BM that he can't be around the children. If you see him there again then call again. Don't confront the BF; call and report her and him.

Here children's services will not tolerate a BM exposing her children to a sexual offender. They will warn, and if it keeps happening the BM will lose custody and have supervised visitation.

notarelative's picture

Sometimes it's very hard to get details of a case. I would not rely on the BF telling the truth. It's in his interest to downplay what happened. If the charges were pled down you might never get a true picture if what happened.

I wouldn't count on BM to realize the seriousness of what happened. Excuses will be made. Such as:
-- they fought and she made up the charges
-- he thought she was 18
-- he wasn't convicted, he pled no contest

Now the first two could be true, but if the BF isn't up front about it, it probably isn't.

If the ex, BM, wants BF in her life, she will have a very hard time believing he did or could do any wrong. She most likely does not know exactly what happened. Do you think BF is telling her anything that portrays himself badly?

Let child services figure it out. They will be able to access the complete record and can judge whether or not BF can be around the children. Child services telling BM that the BF can't be around the children should make her reexamine her relationship with him.

Once child services tells her to keep BF away from the children she should. If she doesn't call child services again. They are not happy with a parent who disregards their advice in these matters. There will be consequences.

thisisnotmocking's picture

Is he on the registry? That'll give the charges.

If he's not on parole and was a juvenile offender, it's likely he has no conditions and cps will probably do nothing.

Knottygirl's picture

My baby girl is 2 and she is the same. She freaks out if she can't see me. Actually all my kids do. They freeze and start screaming mummy when I in the bathroom or hanging out washing. Think it's an age thing.

Knottygirl's picture

My baby girl is 2 and she is the same. She freaks out if she can't see me. Actually all my kids do. They freeze and start screaming mummy when I in the bathroom or hanging out washing. Think it's an age thing.