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Can use some advice. Mothers and sisters.

Sparklelady's picture

I have had a difficult relationship with my mother all my life. My earliest memories include difficult times with her. We've been cautious of one another for years and things came to a head this June. We won't be having a relationship any longer. My sister, who profusely proclaimed that she refused to be caught in the middle of anything and wouldn't take sides, has done exactly that. I have been told by my 15-year-old son that on no less than 4 occasions in the last month my sister/mother have made plans with the entire family, even my husband's two estranged children (sd18/ss16) and my husband and I have been specifically excluded.

He received another invite today, and he is reaching out to me for advice. He feels terrible of course because he didn't know that we were never invited to any of these other events. And he doesn't wish to lie to his aunt or grandmother. I would like to know what your thoughts are?

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Sparklelady's picture

This is true, she doesn't treat him the way that she treats me. He does know that he can go if he wishes, however, to his credit, he really doesn't want to go. He thinks it's wrong and said "they are stupid for cutting you out, you are a valuable person to have in their lives."

He has asked me to tell them not to invite him anymore if his mother and stepfather aren't invited either. He said he doesn't want to be in the middle of it, and he doesn't want to lie to them by saying that he has plans when he doesn't. He's a good kid.

Thanks for the words of encouragement, like you, this is been going on a long time. My heart is pretty dead to all of it, but admittedly my sister's recent gameplaying hurts.

hereiam's picture

My thoughts are, they are assholes for putting your son in the middle like that, that's uncalled for. I would have to intervene on his behalf, he shouldn't have to deal with their pettiness.

I don't have a mother, but my two sisters have no problems taking sides; it has always been them against me. I no longer care, except for the fact that they put my 13 year old niece in the middle and it makes her feel awful. They seriously need to stop drinking (my sisters).