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"Hello" and "Goodbye"

Invisible91's picture

Okay, so this isn't really a big deal, but as I have mentioned in previous posts, my girlfriend's daughter (age 16) never seems to address me when she comes or leaves. It's always "hello, mom", or "bye, mom", as if I don't exist. She is never blatantly rude to me, but I find it disrespectful.

I have nothing to do with the father of the children as it isn't my job to parent them. He himself is rude, passive-aggressive, and petty and doesn't acknowledge my existence either whenever he and my SO talk on the phone. Never does he mention my name, and when he tells my SO that the kids are coming over, he'll say, "to YOUR place".
Furthermore, the biological family irritate the HELL out of me. They are all very centered on the children and will drop everything whenever they come into town and spoil them. Every time my partner's daughter goes to her grandparent's place, she gets a new pair of shoes, clothing, or something else. This past summer, the relatives went all out on SO's daughter's Sweet 16, with a layered birthday cake, a hotel room, a big beach ball where everyone signed their names, and dad's sister even went so far as to request pictures being taken for a scrapbook and a DVD...Maybe I'm a bit envious as my relatives NEVER would have done anything like that for me when I was her age.

Anyway, I'm sorry for getting off track here, but I've mentioned the greeting issue to SO and she seems apologetic for it. I'm at the point now where I feel I'm grasping straws, so I am making a point not to bring it up anymore. I don't even make a point of greeting her if she doesn't greet me.

Another issue I've noticed is that SO's daughter always seems peeved whenever there is a birthday in the family and I buy a card for that person. For example, we were all out celebrating her older brother's birthday three weeks ago, and when I handed him the birthday card that I got for him and he read it (silently), I looked across the table at her and she was looking down at the card with a "pouty" expression on her face. It isn't blatant, but I do notice it, and it has happened more than once. I don't bother mentioning this to SO. I do question at times whether I am reading too much into things, but I see what I see.

Last In Line's picture

My skids ignore me for the most part too. They are 12 and 10. I honestly just don't care anymore. My relationship with them isn't the one I had built in my head when DH and I were getting serious, but I have tried. Sometimes I still try, but I have to be in the right state of mind that if they ignore/blow off/otherwise respond negatively to my effort that it won't bother me.

It actually works better for me for us not to interact much, and when DH tries to create interaction it usually doesn't go well. For example, the 12 year old was watching videos on youtube and DH had him show me one of the videos they both thought was funny. It was some satire about a show that I might have watched once. I didn't "get" it enough to think it was funny. DH got annoyed with me because I didn't laugh and they were trying to share with me.

Rags's picture

Time for full confrontation in her face campaign about how polite mature people great and say goodbye to others. No tolerance, bring the pain. I would
e.g. "Wow, hello Skid. Good to see you.... thanks for coming. Goodbye and I look forward to seeing you soon."

Lather, rinse, repeat.