My Quick Story
I have two stepdaughters 14 and 16. I got married. The mother fights with me at every corner. They were all abused by the ex. When I talk to the mother about the kids doing chores, I hear a spiel about how I need to learn about abuse and why nobody does shit around the house because my demands remind them of him. I end up paying for shit and being a backboard for all of the BS.
Today the oldest at 16 didn't want to do dishes. They remind her of her father. So, I tried to talk to my wife about it. I'm a scumbag that doesn't get it. This kid has a food disorder where she eats about 10 meals a day. I brought that up, and that's because of the abuse.
Should I just get the fuck out of here? Every time I bring it up, I get ignored. They basically live off of me and my wife who both work at home, and they don't do ANYTHING.
Nobody does anything, my house looks like a warzone. I bring it up, and I'm the prick.
I seriously think about just hanging myself in the shed, but there's too much SHIT IN THERE that nobody fucking cleans. Every day the kids may go to school, but after that they just laze around, and if I say anything I'm being a prick. No communication works, I just end up drinking beer and sleeping.
The reason we all live together is because the ex started fooling around with the daughters. It's a bad situation, but seriously it's been 7 months and nobody gets hurt ever. The excuses just pile up, and I don't know what to do.
Thanks for any advice. I can't get my wife to do anything because she was abused too so I'm supposed to be silent and let this shit happen.
This is a very sad situation.
This is a very sad situation. All I can tell you, if there is anything I'm learning from these forums it is that as a step-parent, you need to look out for yourself, and it is not in a selfish sense you are doing it at all. It is in a SURVIVAL sense, as you yourself can attest to. If you try to take too much on, you wind up feeling beat up, nothing you do is ever good enough, and thinking the only option is to off yourself. There are so many more options. You do not have to pay the price for your wife's ex-, divorce or SKs' situations. And, this is not true: "When I talk to the mother about the kids doing chores, I hear a spiel about how I need to learn about abuse and why nobody does shit around the house because my demands remind them of him." No counselor would ever say that. I highly agree with the others that they ALL need counseling. And even if you do decide to leave, please see a counselor youself. I, and unfortunately a lot of others on these pages, know what it is like to give your heart away and then have it stomped on. You will need to build your self-esteem back up, regardless.
Are you sure the other man
Are you sure the other man was really abusive? There are some people who will claim abuse by a previous partner or parent to gain sympathy with the new person and to discredit the old person. I would be suspicious that is what is happening here. Especially since they are so good at claiming you may be abusive, too, for wanting the dishes done. Doesn't matter who they live with or don't live with, dishes still need to be done.
Sounds like you haven't been married very long. I would say you got snookered by a clan of grifters. Evict them. Move forward in life and expect a whole heck of a lot more out of the next woman you get involved with.
Good point. I'm not saying
Good point. I'm not saying this is necessarily the situation here, but I do know one woman who claimed her ex- was abusive and started hitting her so she "had to leave" the marriage, simply because she didn't want to take any responsibility/blame for her 2nd divorce. (Didn't involve my DH.) This same woman claimed she left her 1st husband because he "was lazy and wouldn't provide for her," despite the fact that she herself had had multiple affairs and spent beyond their means. I guess you really never know for sure why someone is divorced, come to think of it.
Wow,no advice... My situation
Wow,no advice...
My situation is nothing like this but I had a huge fight with my wife over our house being filthy this past weekend. I couldn't handle what you're describing. I'd have to leave and move on with my life. When we fought, I told my wife I don't want to live in a shithole, I've provided a really nice house that I worked my ass off to buy and that I refuse to allow anyone to trash it. And that goes for DW, SD or DD. It's not fair and it's not happening. I make the kids do chores and after our fight, the wife is trying harder too. It shouldn't have to even come to that though, I hope it works out for you!
Come on over to MGTOW.com If
Come on over to MGTOW.com
If thats your house, find your balls!
or grow some, put the law down on all of them!
Im sick of hearing stories like this.
I posted a few things here, and have learned over the past couple months of reading posts here...that its all about the women here.
I'd say regain the masculine within, put the law down of the order of conduct in YOUR HOUSE, and if there is a problem...well tell them to GTFO!
Yes, but there are kids
Yes, but there are kids involved and they didn't ask for this shit. It takes a very cold heart to chuck a mother and her kids out on to the street.
In my humble opinion it's marriage that makes things really difficult. Once you're locked in, the most dominant person in the relationship takes over. In a marriage with a single mum, I guarantee the dominant one will be her. She has the kids on her side, after all.
"I seriously think about just hanging myself in the shed, but there's too much SHIT IN THERE that nobody fucking cleans."
I feel awful about laughing at this but it was just so well put. I really hope you were joking about feeling suicidal. There is always a way out. Marriage makes it more difficult and time consuming, but you WILL get out if you want to and it will be worth it.
They all need some serious
They all need some serious counseling - individual counseling and family counseling. Hopefully at some point, when they're ready, the counselor will talk to them about what a healthy relationship looks like. It doesn't sound like they are any where near ready for that conversation though - this happened less than a year ago? They need to deal with the abuse, possible PTSD, and trauma before they can move forward with anything else... including a relationship with you. They're repeating the cycle and pattern of abuse that they lived with for so long. Depending on how long you've been involved with them, maybe you should check out a counselor at this point, too.