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"i've done enough"

bibleofdreams's picture

SO we are moving. And SD14 was given four friggin days to pack up her shit, one of those days was spent getting extensive help from DH. We told her she needed to finish it or I would do it for her and she wouldn't like how I do it. After that entire day of help (seriously like 8ish hours straight of help) he expected her to do the rest, and she didn't do a damn thing. SO we followed through on our ultimatum and I packed up her shit. it was nasty. I won't bore you all with the details, but she cried about how her room didn't feel like "hers" anymore and blah blah blah.

We are trying to get her to pitch in some other way, paying her chore rates mind you, and she has the nerve to decline and say "I've done enough". SHE HAS NOT DONE ANYTHING. I'm not having it anymore. If you are in the family you help each other out, PERIOD, and you are happy to have the opportunity to help other people.

She keeps putting sugary things on the grocery list and refuses to brush her teeth as well. I am so, so glad to get the hell out of here and move states away from this nonsense. Biomom can't handle her either and I am excited to see how its going to shake out, but shes going to end up at our strict home full time at some point if I had to wager a guess. I wouldn't mind the difficult stuff if there was consistency from home to home, but theres not, so its like starting over every single time she gets here.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I thought she was moving WITH you until I read further. Don't knock this time of joy by worrying about when she comes back.

Since I've known my SD19 she has never lifted a finger. Everyone gets shit ready for her or does her work for her because she never gets around to it. We moved the SDs from BM's when she died. Then from old house to new house four months later. It was a tough time so we helped her. Now she's moved home from college and dumped everything in her old bedroom, but her room is now officially in the basement. }:) She has yet to actually PUT anything in the basement. DH thinks this is fine, always enabling her and justifying her actions, or lack thereof. DH and I moved her bed down there for her a week ago.

~ Moon

Raggles's picture

Not sure why you were packing her stuff. I would have just ignord and the consequence of her actions ie: not doing anything qould have resulted in her not having anything!!
She is 14 old enough to know better.

Rags's picture

}:) You packed her shit for her... that is awesome.

The same thing happened to my Skid when we yanked him home from Military boarding school at Christmas break of his senior year after his Sperm Idiot hacked the school fire wall and they stayed up all night every night playing WoW together and the Skid failed the first semester of his Sr. year. He called the school and asked them to pack and ship his stuff home. It came in half a dozen boxes stuffed with dirty clothes, nasty crap, etc.... I called his Tac officer who recounted how nasty the Skids room was. I sent him a thank you card and had a nice meal delivered for he and his wife for dealing with the Skids nasty shit. That crap would never have been allowed to happen when I was in Military boarding school. How things have changed in the decades since my time.

It took over 6mos for some of his stuff to make it to our house. His concert grade trumpet, his personal luggage and civilian clothes, etc...

He was lucky it was not me packing his crap. I would have put it straight in the dumpster no matter what it was. Computer, wallet, etc... straight to the curb. Anything not in its proper place would have been gone. Interestingly this same kid who was a pig is now at 22yo a neat freek.