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Do you ever feel like the over-analyzing makes you crazy?

SMof2Girls's picture

Or at least second guess yourself?

BM and her attorney are claiming that because DH did not call BM as soon as SD8 fell and broke her arm (despite not yet knowing that it was broken), that he did not act reasonably.

They are claiming that he should have called as soon as he got her in the car to drive to the ER. And the fact that he called on his way OUT of the hospital was too late, and not reasonable.

Few things:
1) It's illegal in our state to talk on a cell and drive at the same time.
2) SD8 was literally crying and screaming the entire ride to the ER (all of 10 mins).
3) Hospital has ZERO cell reception. He only could have called from the hospital if he left SD on her own.
4) From check in to discharge was 1 hour. He called her while walking from the hospital to the car. SD8 talked to her almost the entire car ride home (again, about 10 mins).
5) SD8 was fine; broken bone, but nothing critical to her health. She was cleared for school with recommended follow up to ortho doc within 7 days.
6) Event happened on a Friday evening; pediatrician and ortho doc offices were both closed, to reopen Monday morning. There was no follow up or scheduling of appointments even POSSIBLE until Monday morning.
7) Their agreement says that in the event of emergency, parent is to notify other parent immediately or as soon as practicable.

DH's attorney says it's fine. He did what any reasonable person would do in the situation.

But man oh man .. the more I dissect the details, the more I'm worried. Am I just losing it? Sad

kathc's picture

Don't worry. He called as soon as REASONABLY possible. She'd go after him if he'd left her alone to call her right away.You can't win with bitches like that.

hereiam's picture

What is she hoping to gain by this?

He acted perfectly reasonable in the situation.

You'd think the bitch would just be happy her kid was tended to and is alright instead of making it her life mission to make everybody as miserable as she is.

I over analyze things, too!

Ughugh's picture

That's game playing and judges can see through this. Tell them nothing. And yes, analyzing used to be exhausting. My ex and I decided to get out of Friend of the Court recently and things are awesome, nobody instigating us to this insane game playing. He handled it. Good enough. She survived.

SMof2Girls's picture

Right? I swear it's almost like DH will have grounds for a personal harassment suit if this type of crap continues. Always seeking legal advice because of her BS that goes nowhere.

Orange County Ca's picture

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,
nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.
William Congreve, English, 1670 - 1729

Amber Miller's picture

BM is acting like a nut. I can't believe she is making a big deal about this. I mean, she sounds like the type of person that would complain no matter how this was handled. The priority is the child and your DH took care of his child first. I would much rather my exH to stay off the phone and drive our child to the ER and not leave his side which is exactly what your DH did. What difference is it going to make whether BM finds out an hour after the fact that the child has a broken arm? It's not going to change the outcome; the bone will still be broken. Also, it makes sense to get a diagnosis before getting on horn and calling. I mean, it could've been a sprain. Is that worth getting on the phone and getting all hysterical about? Of course not. BM is acting like a buffoon and I am sure the judge will not be amused by this nonsense. This is a waste of the courts time. I hope you guys nail this crazy bitch for court costs.

Calypso1977's picture

" parent is to notify other parent immediately or as soon as practicable. "

you are fine. this is a great example of subjective language. what is immediate or as soon as practicable to one is not the same to someone else.

family law lawyers throw anything and everything against the wall to see what sticks because especially those who work for the BM's know that they will get a win 100% of the time either because the father gets scared and caves before it even goes to court or the judge gets all sympathetic to the poor single mom.

Rags's picture

Analysis paralysis. A common ailment for many.

Fortunately not for me. I am highly intuitive in my personality and decisioning (rare for engineers) and analysis is a process I use to confirm or adjust my intuitive decisioning. Now, for my CPA highly detail oriented analytical bride ..... yep. She can get extremely paralyzed by analysis.

There is nothing you can do to rationalize what BM is doing or will do. Stay abreast of the rules, laws, CO, etc.... and relax.

I use what I call the guided missile or fire and adjust methodology when dealing with any problems. I use my experience and intuition at the point where the problem is at the moment and I confirm or adjust by analyzing the information available at the time. Then I implement a solution (fire) and I adjust as situations change and events unfold.

My bride analyses ever possible detail/connotation/outcome and then does it again because any plan is no longer valid once you start to implement. The information is still valuable but the plan must be adjusted.

So plan, implement, and adjust.

Don't sweat the analysis more than once..... or maybe twice. Wink COs, supplemental rules, state regs do not change that often or enough to warrant detailed analysis for each and every situation. You know the CO, you know the rules and regs, you know BM and her past behaviors (which are the best predictor or future performance), relax.

You and DH got this.

rahrah2019's picture

She's just mad because she wasn't able to swoop in and interfere, and that your husband was able to handle it on his own. If she's like our BM, she thinks the world will stop if she doesn't have her nose in everything.