My resentment runneth over
Well it's been two days of having the house all to myself. (sounds wonderful right?) Unfortunately I have been really down and having bad feelings of resentment, possibly jealousy, etc.
My husband planned a Canadian fishing trip several months ago for he and his 2 sons (16 & 18) to go on. Long story short, I am pregnant and expecting our first child together in September so I of course stayed behind. The SS's have been awful since we told them we were having a baby. They do not contribute to our household at all leaving messes everywhere they go, being disrespectful, and making our lives miserable. My husband had to get everything ready for the trip with absolutely no help from the two of them. They come and go as they please and if it involves work they conveniently head back to their mom's house. We have been going to counseling to try to deal with the issues. The 18 year old still gets an "allowance of 200 a month for doing absolutely nothing. My anger and resentment over the last few months has been building to astronomical heights.
I have no desire to go on a fishing trip but I am feeling so angry that, for one, I am left at home. I couldn't take any time off work if I wanted to since I will be taking 12 weeks once the baby is born. I'm staying home, cleaning the house that is usually trashed by the 2 SS and the more I think about it the angrier I get. My husband has been sending me pictures, etc of their trip up there and it annoys me to no end. I don't care to see it frankly. I have this fear that once they get home, they will dump their crap everywhere and ruin the house I've been working to clean and expect me to clean up after them and do their laundry. I don't want to greet him angrily when he gets home but I keep thinking about how this is all going to go down. The other thing that bothers me is that there is no cell signal where they are so if anything happened, I have no way to reach him besides some satellite number he gave me.
I guess I am just feeling somewhat sorry for myself but agitated that 2 boys who can be so disrespectful and act more like they are 11 or 12 get to go on some trip with their dad while I get to sit at home and continue working. My husband thinks this will be a good time for him to talk to them (since they feel like they are "losing their dad") I'm not holding my breath. I'm pretty convinced things will be exactly the same when they get home.
Unfortunately, it is your DH
Unfortunately, it is your DH who has created these problem kids by being too scared to lose them that he has never enforced any rules/consequences upon them.
How is he sending you pictures? I would send him back a message that you are feeling left out and have worked hard to clean the house. Please make sure that your kids clean up after themselves when you get back. I don't want all my hard work to be for nothing.
Then let him know if he doesn't make his own kids clean up after themselves, HE needs to do it. YOU QUIT DOING IT. The only way things will change with him is if HE is the one having to deal with their messiness.
When they get back, get DH to give you his credit card as you deserve a mani-pedi day.
I think you are so right.
I think you are so right. Thank you!
hahaha OMG i couldn't agree
hahaha OMG i couldn't agree more. I knew I would feel better if I came on here and vented. My friends and family with no step-parenting experience think I'm overreacting so I usually don't say a word around them. They look at you like you have a 3rd eye. I have a bad feeling that once the baby is here, I will go bat-shit crazy on them one day.
I'd take pictures of tye
I'd take pictures of tye CLEAN house in my phone like a filing cabinet. When the 2 tornados come home n reak havoc ~ send a before and after n ask hubby who's shit is this !!!!
Take the quiet time n enjoy it ~ when baby comes you will miss it. You ahoukd b worrying about baby not the dynamic douchebags. It is hubby's night mare n he should erect his cranium from his rectum.
we have a bench in our
we have a bench in our kitchen and it becomes a catch-all for all their crap. Then every so often i can't take it anymore and i bag it all up and toss it in their room. ss16 didn't get signed up for football camp on time because the paper laid on that bench for several weeks before I finally tossed it in their room. Then he was all huffy when it was a week overdue and he couldn't find it. I seriously worry about these boys ability to function properly in adulthood. He just shrugged and said "oh well, mom will handle it." She will too because she wants to keep them reliant on her for life. I think she enjoys the control and power in some sick way. I could absolutely blow up!
I def like the idea of taking pictures! I also might find a way to not be home when they arrive.
Don't toss it in their room.
Don't toss it in their room. Toss it in the trash. My DH threw away a practically new t-shirt of one SS because he left it on the floor. Let them know that everything on the bench will be thrown out every Sunday.
good plan. I think there will
good plan. I think there will be lots of new rules implemented upon their arrival home
I don't know why the hell I
I don't know why the hell I ever started it. It started when I first started dating my husband. I felt sorry for him and helped him out around the house. Now its just never changed and he can't see why there's a problem with it. He acts like their lives have been so hard since they have been through a divorce. (Don't even get me started on what my childhood was like. It's a miracle I am a normal(mostly) productive member of society with my 2 mentally ill parents.) I don't wish that on anyone but seriously you can't walk through life and be like, "sorry I just can't do stuff because my parents got divorced and it scarred me too much...boo hooo...." Hence my lack of sympathy.
I can totally understand your
I can totally understand your feelings! I spent several hours on Saturday cleaning house...cleaned all but the coffee table in the TV room (DH tends to use it as his "desk" and it is always trashed). The entire time, DH just sat there while I cleaned!
The whole time I'm cleaning, I'm wondering how long it will stay the way it is. SD15 is gone until tomorrow evening. I'm enjoying counter-tops in the kitchen that aren't covered in jelly, crumbs, etc. She is one of the laziest people on the planet! My kitchen is always so disgusting when she is around...I have to clean up before I can even cook anything! Just leave it? Yeah...nice idea, except the fact that I don't like to eat out very much, and I'm not about to do any kind of food prep on those nasty counter tops when she is done in there after a day (never fixes anything in the same spot...one counter will have jelly and crumbs on it, another will have cereal crumbs and milk slatters on it, another will have ramen crumbs and seasoning on it, cheese wrappers laying around, etc.).
On top of that, is all the crap she leaves in the TV room. Now THAT I made DH get up and collect! I refuse to clean up her crap!!! His child, his lack of parenting, his problem! He wonders why I only like to sit in my chair, and not on the couch with him? He doesn't see SD15 on that couch! She eats on the couch, sits there and picks at her feet (over the couch...not over the floor), always laying on the couch with her smelly feet on the couch (yes, the girl has cheese smelling feet...she like to wear closed shoes without socks...can't figure out why), etc. I'm scared to remove the cushions for fear of the grossness I will find underneath!
And the little princess cannot do anything around the house to help! Can't even clean up after herself! There was an argument about a week ago. She was told to do laundry, and she was arguing that she didn't need to. DH pointed out that she hadn't done laundry in at least 3 months. She tried to argue that it has been less time than that since she washed...but yeah...it has been at least 3 months since she washed. I know the girl has a lot of clothing, but I see her wearing the same things all the time, and no one has that many pairs of undies! Just gross! She never did wash. I refuse to wash for her...haven't washed for my bios since they were around 9 years old (got tired of them taking all their clothing out of the drawers and leaving on the floor...and having to wash clothing that was never worn because it got mixed with dirty clothes)...I'm not about to start washing for a 15 year old!
I agree with you. I can't
I agree with you. I can't live in a pigpen. We have a very nice home and I refuse to live in filth because these two spoiled brats don't know how to do anything for themselves. It sucks but at some point you just can't take it anymore and clean or pick things up. Their mom's house smells like cat urine. I've had to wash their crap when they come from her house before because I WILL NOT HAVE CAT ODOR IN THIS HOUSE.