I think you need to look actively for a job.

I think you need to look to your state's departments of labor, health and human services, and public housing for help and assistance. They all have websites.

You're 21 and need help, but need to be becoming more independent.

Do you ignore your sm?

How long has there been bad blood between you and your SM? It would be easier for us to understand if you can tell us more about what has been going on and for how long. Has she always had it out for you or vice versa? How have things been between you and your dad since she has been in the picture? What do you believe her real motives are and why?

Sorry to hear your going through a hard time, will be of help if possible.

Wait.....you pay rent??

In that case I don't think they can simply kick you out.

Please get back to Foxie regarding the state in which you live.

I have to agree with Foxie, tenants have rights. Stay out of her hair and call the police if need be. In the meantime I would start looking for a different place to reside with roommates. She may be your SM but she is not above the law assuming she is doing what you are claiming here. My immediate advice for you, listen to Foxie bc she is onto something here and can be of help.

I would clean the hell out of your room and bathroom if you have one, and then give her space. When she calms down ask her if there is anything else that has been bothering her as you will gladly try to abide by whatever house rules she thinks you have broken.

I can sometimes be irrational, and I always tell people the best way to deal with me is to give me space and when I am ready we can talk it out.

Good luck hon-

I have to agree with Rising here...something doesn't add up.

I can't imagine a SM, let alone a DAD, kicking their daughter out for simply not keeping her room tidy. My goodness, she has more responsibility right now than a lot of adults do: full time work and full time school, plus looking for another part time job???

I don't get it...they should be PROUD of her, not telling her to get out!

I guessing this is SM's house (she owns it) aka the father says if SM doesn't want her there SD can't stay. I'm also guessing that Dad didn't have much visitation during the growing up teen years and an adult child living in her house isn't what the SM originally signed on for.

If this young lady's 'messy' is anything like Step Down's SD I can truly understand why the SM would not tolerate the 'messy' in her home. Keeping in mind a 'little messy' to one person is in reality a possible filthy unsanitary pig sty to the homeowner.

I think in this case (without knowing more details) OP's best option is to seek other housing and in the meantime keep your room clean and also assist in helping around the main rooms of the home (kitchen, dishes, dusting whatever). Talk to Dad about 60days to find other living arrangements. Perhaps if not school housing than sharing an apartment with a group of students.

I'm sorry you're facing sudden eviction for what just in this posting sounds like minor offenses. But again, even if you were a wonderful well behaved and very tidy daughter/SD the living with a parent can't last forever. Unfortunately for you it's ending sooner than expected, but they do have to give you some notice as a 'renter' so that gives you a bit of time.

Ask your father to respect your belongs and to be able to pack your things when the time comes on your own. Coming home to find your SM/Dad packing up your room is not how this should be going down. It does sound as if there have been other warnings and incidents that this really isn't a total unforeseen happening occurring. It's just that this time SM is actually doing it (evicting you).

It's time to move on. I wish you the best in being able to find housing and get on with your education.

I would do a combination of things. File for a relief order with the local court for SM to stop her harrasment of you, sign up for a dorm room for Spring semester and keep your room spotless until then.

You are going to have to work on the relationship with both your Dad and your SM and be very careful as you do it. You need your dad to understand that you will not put him in the middle and your SM to understand that you respect her and will comply with her requirements for staying in their marrital home until you can get out on your own.

With the dorm thing ... remember you may have to find something for the summer if they dorms are not open for student residents. That was an issue I had when I was in college. My parents lived over seas and if I did not get an invitation from friends to spend Spring Break with them or if I did not have a trip paid for I had to get special permission to stay in my dorm room since the dorms were closed during Spring Break. Fortunately I never had to worry about summers since I either worked as a summer camp counselor or I spend the summers with family.

You are doing great. Do not let your SM's issues distract you from the amazing job you are doing working and going to school both full time. That is not an easy thing to do. I truly wish my son had your motivation. He is doing well now but for a few years we nearly wrung his neck on many occassions. He is your age by the way. As Echo said, if you were my daugther I would have your back. So would my wife. People of character appreciate other people of character. I am sorry your SM and your dad are failing to see what is apparently right in front of their faces.

My opinion is based on the information you provided in your OP. If there is no 'rest of the story' then my hat is completely off to you.

Take care of yourself.

Your father wants you out.
As you can see by the examples on this site, stepmom wants doesn't equal stepmom gets.
Your FATHER wants you out and that's what counts. If he didn't, he'd try to reason with his wife and make a solution that fits you both.
But your father agrees with her and that's your problem.

I hope we hear of some outcome from this situation. If not, I think that will say a lot about the true nature of the original post.

Many parents had kids for stupid reasons, and some of them did not sign on to have kids live with them until they were well into adulthood.

A 21 year old can get by on their own. Sorry, that is true.

The wife/partner is the primary relationship and children need to know that. The parent is not looking to live with their offspring into old age most of the time, unless there is something off in them.

You can get by. Especially if you are almost done with college. There are a lot of social programs to help young people, and it would be wise to seek them and avail yourself of them.

You can only control the circumstances of your life and should not be so reliant on your father and step-mother to keep you around. It IS stressful for a lot of us to have someone we do not have a bond or relationship with living in our home. When someone is 21 they think of themselves as adult enough to make their own life decisions, so they do not also get the benefit of being a child who still has a right to all the entitlements of being a child in our home.

Going on your own will be good for you. Do it for yourself. I left at 16 and lived hand to mouth until i took up a trade that paid a living wage. You can do it.