JuryOfOne's picture

Forsaking all others

What exactly does forsaking all others mean to you? To your DH?

JuryOfOne's picture

Does include relationships

Does include relationships other than adultery?

"I love you" is not a question.

2Tired4Drama's picture

I think so. At least, that's

I think so. At least, that's what I understood to be the truth when I said my marriage vows.

Traditionally, I think "forsaking all others" means the marital relationship should take precedence before other relationships. That doesn't mean you completely ignore everyone else in your life (mother, father, siblings, etc.) but the marriage should be your primary relationship and the one that matters most. IMO, anyway.

Rags's picture


Smiling Yep.

A parent is an example, mentor, confidante, advocate and disciplinarian, not a buddy.-Rags
If you can't listen and learn then you will have to feel.-WLR
If you want to be a part of my life then use your head or STFU and do what you are told.-Rags

SugarSpice's picture

i agree with this. sadly,

i agree with this. sadly, divorced parents (mostly men) are filled with guilt and put their second wives as low priority. bad move. this is why 2/3 of remarried and blended families end up in divorces...again.

Shaman29's picture

Ohhhh....good one Ana. I

Ohhhh....good one Ana. I didn't think about jobs, addictions, egos and things of that nature. I should have added them to my list as well.

"I've come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum...and I'm all out of bubble gum."

-Roddy Piper

Shaman29's picture

To me it means you do not let

To me it means you do not let anyone else come between you and your spouse.







"I've come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum...and I'm all out of bubble gum."

-Roddy Piper

oldone's picture

This is one time where it

This is one time where it pays to be an old person with a different perspective. In the 60s many people wrote their own marriage vows. Many of them were truly meaningful - but some - well they didn't vow to do much but stay around as long as things were good. those people never had to "break" any vows because the ones they made were so vague.

Tuff Noogies's picture

what a fantastic article

what a fantastic article cheri!
i printed it out Smiling

in regards to minor children, i didnt gather from the article he was talking about neglecting them. it seemed more of the opinion that 'forsaking all others' would include standing WITH your OH, and not allowing the children/skids to come between spouses, but providing a united marriage as a foundation for the family.

at any rate, i much appreciate the link Sticking out tongue

"I am the nicest person you will ever meet until you try to fuck over somebody I love. Then? I'm your worst fucking nightmare." - Former.

Famuky is looming at me ark

wicked_by_proxy's picture

"Marriage is a man and woman

"Marriage is a man and woman coming together and forsaking all others. If a partner in the marriage considers someone else equal to or greater than their spouse, that marriage is heading for the rocks, even if that someone else is an adult child. Adult children are supposed to be independent, gainfully employed, self sufficient men and women with partners and a life of their own. They are not supposed to be an appendage of daddy or mommy for that matter, and they certainly have no say in anyone's marriage including and especially their parent's marriage. The only marriage they can have any say in is their own. The only marriage they can be equal in is their own."

This is a quote I found a while ago - could have even been here on this site - but for me, it really summed up "forsaking all others"....

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
Mark Twain

still learning's picture

^^Totally agree

^^Totally agree

Expecting step children to treat you well because you're a good person is like expecting a bull not to charge you because you're a vegetarian.

3_steps_ahead's picture

IMO it's pretty simple: You

IMO it's pretty simple:

You don't allow for anyone or anything to come in and cause division in the marriage.

While it's a simple principle, sometimes what we may have to sacrifice for the sake of the marriage can be painful.

For my marriage, it ended up meaning that SD19 needed to move out and DH needed to cut off contact with her. Unfortunately, when contact was cut off with SD19, it also ended up meaning that most of DH's family completely turned their backs on him based only on SD19's lies. While the sacrifice of DH's family "relationships" was painful, I can tell you that there has been so much less strife in our home and immediate family and so much more happiness than there ever was before simply by not allowing the people that caused problems in our marriage to be involved in our lives.

grissha's picture

This is my first time i visit

This is my first time i visit here. I found so many entertaining stuff in your blog, especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your articles, I guess I am not the only one having all the leisure here! Keep up the good work. I have been meaning to write something like this on my website and you have given me an idea.

SugarSpice's picture

this is not to mention mini

this is not to mention mini wives.

skeeter's picture

All of the above. Married 36

All of the above. Married 36 years; the past 12 years (SD & SIL moved to same town) DH ran to SD with all of our private life, including our $$$ business, everything. When I found out (2 page hate email from SD55), I booted DH to SD's house, retained a Court ordered protective order against them, and a Court order to retain all our property. The orders were not lifted until I requested the Court to do so.

In my book DH had betrayed me to SD, and SD was putting her nose in our marriage. So we set boundaries and I am enforcing them, from here on. I have too much invested in my marriage to quit and I won't give SD the satisfaction.

I felt the least DH could do was keep our life private; he violated that, therefore, our marriage is not a marriage or relationship, after 36 years, but an arrangement. I have made it clear I will keep my wedding vows, as I always have. I love my DH, but now I know he doesn't have the same respect and love for me; I really don't think he understands; he stated he was just confiding in his daughter. But I do not trust DH or SD and I have made myself clear there is no trust. DH claims he no longer talks to SD about our private life and he will not do it again. I don't believe this; because they did this for years to BM too.

So when DH's do such stupid acts, they are throwing away their marriages and trust that we put in them.