Maybe some progress with BM!
BM contacted me before the last visitation wanting to talk over some issues that we'd had. Amazingly enough she was able to have a conversation with me (over email, we don't talk on the phone) that was for the most part respectful and civil. She thanked me for being there during visitation because she knew that if I was there she wouldn't have to worry about SS getting fed or what he's eating.
I am incredibly impressed. This is a huge step! BM actually admitted that there was a positive part to me being around! I encouraged her to think of other reasons that me being around might be considered a good thing. I really hope that this is a sign of things looking up. After her griping at me for months to stay away from HER son, I am so relieved that she has finally started to come around. I'm trying not to get my hopes up because inevitably things will cycle back to being bad again, but I can't help but be happy for the progress that might have been made!
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that's nice- at least you
that's nice- at least you can talk to her- my hubby's ex wouldn't dare talk to me
RE:
You must not know my situation very well. This woman is psycho. I'm actually very genuinely impressed (more like shocked) that we had this conversation and she said the things that she said. We are by no means buddies...she can barely think about me without spitting venom, much less actually talk to me and hold up a decent and civil conversation.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
This gives me *some* hope
Glad to hear it Nymh. BM in our case is pyscho too, so maybe one day things could look up, like they are for you right now.
Interesting though, that her compliment to you is a backhanded insult to your hubby's parenting skills. As if SS wouldn't get fed by his dad?!
Anyway, it's always nice to hear good news on this blog, to go along with all the drama!
RE:
That was my thought exactly, but I didn't mention it. To tell the truth, BF is the one that does most of the feeding. I think she was just looking for a way to pseudo-compliment me.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
WARNING: TREAD LIGHTLY...not to be a 'party pooper' but:
WOW, if I even had a penny for every time I received a letter or an e-mail like that from 'BM'-I would be RICH!!!!! (no joke)
I mean, verbatim, 'backhanded insults' and all!
From what I've read of your situation, the ex's sound identical.
Don't trust her for a second, no matter what.
Remember the legend of the rattle snake and the young man who helped it and then got bit?
(If not, ask me, I'll tell you all!)
anyway: SHE'S A 'SNAKE' (dangerous)
We just got over a 5 month period of 'getting along' after 10 years of 'cycling' this was the longest time...once again, I had 'hope' that she was growing up, really making an effort...blah, blah, blah (she even confided in me that she was on "a mild anti anxiety medication" turns out it's a 'hardcore' anti-psychotic!)
WHATEVER!
She's stopped taking it (admitted that to me to-"DOESN'T NEED IT") and now flipped back to 'psycho' and will be there for another 3-6 mos. before she 'makes nice' again.
Aloha, MJ
PS: Ok, after reading this, I have to say that I don't want to rain on your parade; I know how happy and elated you can't help but feel. I understand your hope, but I have to post this warning, because if my experiences can help anyone to avoid the kind of pain and heartache we've experienced, it's worth it. Enjoy the ride, just don't let your guard down.
RE:
Trust me, we've been back and forth enough for me to not get my hopes up too high regarding these "sane" periods. I appreciate them when they happen, but I'm too realistic of a person to think that they're permanent. I've even told her that.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*