yep, gonna be a banner year for SD!
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she had a selfie posted on her Twitter last night around 8:30 with some sort of caption about procrastination. It was taken in her room.
if i was a betting gal, id say that she was her room, with her device, with her mother thinking that she was being all "studious" and doing her homework, when in reality she was screwing around with her phone.
this girl does not play sports in the fall or participate in other activities. her homework should be done LONG before 8:30.
she's this bad and its only a week into the school year. good luck you dumbass.
this was at BM's house. half
this was at BM's house. half the time BM goes to bed before SD!
She's made to do her homework at the kitchen table on our weekday visitation with no device allowed.
Of course most of the time she lies and says she did it already, or forgot this book at school, etc.
I'm waiting for those grades
I'm waiting for those grades to start dropping, as well! SheSloth is supposed to be getting herself up in the mornings. Well, that only happened for about the first 3-4 days of school. She has had to be gotten up by DH ever since (yes, I kick him out of bed and make him do it now). DH all flustered this morning tried to blame it on SheSloth's new phone. **cough**BS** He thinks she's not hearing it, the alarm isn't going off, etc. I wanted to remind him that last week SheSloth said she did hear her alarm, but just didn't feel like getting out of bed. That seems more like the likely story. I've told DH many times he needs to remove the electronics at night...get her some simple $10 alarm clock from Wal-Mart, and remove all phones, computers, tablets, etc. from SheSloth at 10 pm, but he won't do it...just like he won't turn off the router at night, either. I can promise you the girl is in there on Kik until all hours, to hide her after-hours phone use from the phone bill!
Wouldn't it be priceless if SheSloth loses her spot on guard due to grades?
DH would go turn it back on
DH would go turn it back on when his tablet wouldn't connect to the internet. He is up for at least another couple of hours after I go to bed. Real reason he doesn't want to turn off router? Because it would inconvenience him!
ideally electronics should be
ideally electronics should be removed at least an hour before bedtime for everyone, including adults. digital stimulation prior to bed has been proven to have ill effects on getting a good night's sleep. that's why we do not have a TV in our bedroom.
DH made the rule that any
DH made the rule that any laundry left on the floor after the skids leave goes into the trash (DH himself threw away one of PrinceSS15's brand new t-shirts, then dumped coffee grounds on top of it). I happily enforce that rule.
What I absolutely LOATHE is coming across S12's vile, disgusting, skidmark underwear. Half the time, that stuff is so thick that it looks like mud. There is NO WAY I am putting that in my washing machine. I realize a washing machine is for getting stuff clean, but come on!! Wipe your freaking rearend!! :sick:
I have no plans to ask DH
I have no plans to ask DH if/when it's okay to throw away anything. DH tells them to pick up before they leave. He made the rules; I plan to follow them. So...when they pull out of the driveway, I make my rounds.
This weekend:
S12 lost 1 sock and 4,000+ BBs (in a bag, spilling on the floor so I also had to vacuum).
PrinceSS15 lost 2 pages of video game cheat codes and his iPod headsets (DH stepped on them - didn't notice - and they are TOAST).
And if S12 ever starts to wonder why he's missing underwear, he can take that sh*t back to BioMonster's house and let her wash them.
I was horribly afraid that DH
I was horribly afraid that DH was going to go all Disney Dad on me. There was an incident with S12 that totally freaked me out and I told DH that if he didn't talk to S12, that I would. In front of him and PrinceSS15. And I had NO plans to be nice about it. I was going to go bat crap crazy on his butt. I am typically a very easygoing person, but this had me totally incensed. Thank God DH stepped up. Since then, he makes rules and I simply follow through.
*Anything left on the floor is trash regardless of what it is; I pick up the trash when they leave.
*If the TV remotes are left on the floor, they lose it for 2 weekends. They only did it once. }:)
SD13 has only done homework
SD13 has only done homework 2x in just over 2 weeks since school started. One night it was a little bit of math and another night it looked like she was doodling for her art class. I checked her grades yesterday and 4 out of 7 were posted -- close to 100% in each class. (No TESTS have been given yet, lol.) I checked today and a grade for English has appeared as an "F." Yup, in MY county you get a 50% if you don't hand in your work, so even if you do ZERO you get 50%.
I'm not sure if SD13 didn't do her homework or if she forgot to write her damn name on her paper (this happened ALL of the time last year). If the teacher has an assignment with no name then it looks like the student didn't hand it in. Duhhhh......
Time to make the popcorn.....I refuse to help DH and SD13 this year with time management and homework, etc. SD13 is on her iPod Touch every waking hour of the day, esp after school. Wait until she gets an interim report and tells DH "I don't know why I got a bad grade....." Cause you're irresponsible, you don't check your progress online, you don't write your name on your paper and you don't study for quizzes and tests! I had enough trouble the past two years helping her in middle school. I vowed not to help this school year. Time for her to do it on her own!
Besides, I will love it when she has her things taken away for a bad report card. Moron Skid!
~ Moon
I bake for DH and buy him
I bake for DH and buy him sweets, but any of those the skids will eat are hidden before they arrive. DH told me no more baking for the skids after I made a large pan of brownies. Next thing we know, S12 is asking of I put the brownies in a container somewhere. Huh?? Turns out, PrinceSS15 ate most of the freaking pan. Neither DH nor I had a single brownie.
PrinceSS15 was so desperate for sweets (BioMonster buys TONS of cookies, chips, junk food) that he had to resort to a package of PopTarts. LMAO!!
the problem is, these kids
the problem is, these kids KNOW that grades can be accessed online now, in an instant. they must be laughing and thinking that this is the biggest joke. they know bad grades are coming through and their parents say nothing.
its just one more way, IMO, that technology in some ways has ruined us.
Yes, they can be accessed
Yes, they can be accessed online, by how many parents actually use the tool to check? I know DH doesn't check up on SheSloth! The only way he knew anything last year was because I happened to see her stuff when I was checking on BS19's (if I clicked grade book in the app, it would show all enrolled students on same page, and because SheSloth's name is alphabetically before BS19's, I would have to scroll through her stuff to get to his). I would say something to DH, he would mention it to SheSloth, she would have some excuse, he would say fix it, and that would be it. She would get by barely at the end of the grading periods ONLY because I would see it and DH would get on her that she needed to get her missing assignments in.
This year, I'm not looking. I don't have a child enrolled, so I have no reason to log into the system. DH still hasn't gone in to do SheSloth's enrollment stuff this year, and school started 2 weeks ago!!! I keep telling him he needs to do it, but he still hasn't done it. Asked him again last night if he did it..."No, I keep forgetting." I pointed out to him that it is in his best interest to do it online...that this option will soon no longer be available for this school year, and he is going to get sent a large packet of papers...the online version is easier to complete.
that's my point. they arent
that's my point. they arent looking and the kids know they arent looking. they get away scot free with poor school performance.
SD's school uses a system where teh parent can sign up for an email notice if a grade is below a certain parameter. so my fiance is aware of the bad grades and the reasons why (i.e., missed homework, failed a test, etc.)
the problem is his hands are tied on some levels. he makes her do homework when she's with us, btu that's only 2 weekday evenings per week. and if she doesnt bring her books, etc. and says "she already did it" not much he can do. the other 3 evenings and weekends are BM's job.
i know he sends BM messages CONSTANTLY about the failed grades (i dotn think BM knows how to sign up). she refuses to discuss the issue with him, just says "she's trying hard and im going to let her have a sleepover/go on a trip/some other fun activity with friends" because she's been really working on it!". Constant rewards from BM for poor school performance.
Her schooling is a big reason why my fiance tried to get custody a year ago.
I learned from my own
I learned from my own procrastination and distraction filled and periodically underperforming teen school years that I would not tolerate that same crap from my own kid. From my own teens years I have come to the conclusion that at some point when kids get to their teens a parent must shift from the goal of raising them to the goal of getting them through HS (maybe college) with the resulting paper so that they can be pitched from the nest to finish growing up on their own time and their own dime.
Some kids get it, put in the effort, and need little to no parental prodding to do what they should do when they should do it. Other kids need a parental foot up their ass seemingly constantly.
As a single data point this has worked wonders with my Skid. My brother on the other hand is going down a similar path with his kids that our parents did with us. Had I been able to enlist my dad would have had me at USMC boot camp after my first semester of college. My younger brother got the message and kept his head far more in the game than I did since my younger bro was able to enlist.
He is coddling and catering to my niece (20) though my recommendation is that he cut her loose to figure it out on her own at this point. He flirts with the idea then caves and keeps handing her college opportunities on a silver platter rather than taking her car, credit cards, and smart phone and dropping her off at the recruiters office or turning her in to the household beck and call girl toilet scrubber/errand girl.
My Skid held out for 10mos after HS graduate working as our beck and call boy/chore bitch before he said enough was enough and he enlisted. He is figuring it out on his own dime and time and is doing very well both in college and in the USAF. We gave clarity to the Skid after he nearly failed out of HS during the first semester of his Sr. year. "We either go to your HS graduation in June and see you receive your diploma, or we drop you off at the homeless camp under the elevated highway in Philly. Your call." We took him on a tour of several homeless camps in the middle of the winter. That scared the shit out of him and he graduated on time and with Honors. Granted it was at our local HS that he had never attended before. He went for one semester in order to graduate. We were not going to pay another 2 semesters of boarding school tuition to let him fart around with his buddies and waste more of our money just for the few credits he needed to graduate. That semester had both his mom’ s foot, and mine firmly up his butt.
Your Skid may very well be one that requires oppressive parental oversight, a foot up her ass, and then is out the door to figure the rest out on her own time and own dime.
Your Skid may very well be
Your Skid may very well be one that requires oppressive parental oversight, a foot up her ass, and then is out the door to figure the rest out on her own time and own dime.
she totally does. i had that figured out from day one. this is what happens to a kid who has had everything done for her and has been in charge of the home.
but the issue for her is no one will give her the oversight. in the beginning i was willing to help with her schooling albeit it for the very limited time we have her, but BM didnt think there was anything wrong with her angel because she was working "so hard" (not) and her father has all but given up on her as a result of anything we tried implementing being mocked by BM.