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Wish he go away and take his kid with him

whyohwhyohwhy's picture

I wish he would go away and take his useless 16-year-old slob with him. I'm done catering to their every want and need. Neither of them gives two flying F*cks about what I need or what. My entire life should be catering to him and his mini-wife. I'm sick of him and her, I'm tired of cleaning both their mess, they drop everything at the @ss, the kid is a dirtbag, won't shower, won't brush her teeth, sits in her room all day gaming and stuffing her pig face with never-ending junk food, he caters in meals to her room, everything has to be cooked to her likes if he does cook he makes a big damn mess, she can't even scrape her food in the garbage, brings dishes out a day or so later with all food left on them, and he is just as much as a slob as she is. they deserve each other.

I told him I do not want her moving in here full-time but he ignores me and makes plans with her for moving in at the end of school. oh, she no bother, oh she doesn't eat much, of her mother is treating her bad, and blah blah blah. bullsh!t to all of it !!

The kid wants to live here because her new freak friends go to school here and she's transferring, she has a princess room here,, the Internet. Of course, he fixed her room up, and it's perfect but won't lift a finger to fix anything else around this house. it's a big song and dance to get him to mow the yard, whipper snip, and take the garbage out, seems like he only cares that the mini wife's room is all fixed up. He makes sure when he gets groceries the cupboards are filled with never-ending junk food and everything the slob likes to stuff her pig face with. of course, I'm never thought of when he gets groceries and never buys me anything I like to eat. drives the useless thing all over the place to where ever she wants to go but gets pissy when I rarely ask to go anyways. I don't drive. I bought a car before covid with the intent to get my license. covid is just starting to wear down now and I should be able to get my license. I can't why? because him and his mini-wife are a financial drain and he doesn't always pay his share. oh, I can't pay this or that this month because sd wanted this or needs that. I have to cover the bills because I don't want to ruin my credit. more or less, I'm paying for him to whine and dine his idiot kid while I do without. The deed to the house is in my name. 

the man does absolutely nothing to make me feel loved or special. I mean he never will take me out anywhere because it costs too much. I get it, I do without, and work full-time. I should be honored to be able to pick up after such glorious god-like beings, cater to their every want and needs, do without myself, and live my life as the family servant. the man does not go above and beyond to treat me special or do anything to make me feel loved. 

I asked him to move out and take sd with him. he said he ain't going anywhere and this is his house, too. I checked that he is right he doesn't have to leave. he told me I need counseling for my anger issues with his daughter. lol really? I guess I'm gonna have to screw my credit ditch the house and the car and just pack a bag and leave. You would think after a year of never being intimate with him he would get the hint but he doesn't. he is never going to change and I'm tired of playing second fiddle to a dirtbag kid, I'm tired of doing without for a kid who doesn't care if I exist, and a selfish little idiot only here to take advantage of me more so then him.

Karma will bite him in the but because once I'm gone he will be evicted, they will take the car, and the idiot will run back to her mama or whatever she can use someone. get this he applied for a 5000 credit card and got it. He's already telling me how he's paying for her license on the card. How can he tell me that with a straight face knowing I can't get my license because of him and not always paying what is owed? I guess, he thinks they are both going to drive around in the car and ill be paying for her to.. no damn way, of course, he would never offer to pay for my license.

I'm sick of rarely asking to go places and he puts on a big shit show about driving me anywhere. the kid asks and it's your wish is my command ... I want them out asap! I hate to leave MY HOME to get rid of them but, I don't see any other option as he will not take his idiot kid and get out. my dream is to fix this places up. to wake up to a clean house, and food I want to eat, I don't need the car as I work from home and my family will always pick me up. I don't need to cook big meals and pay for junk food out the ying-yang. Life would be so much easier and Id have money to enjoy my life if he would just GO!

if you read this far thank you any advice would be most welcomed Sad

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

stepmomnorth's picture

It sounds like there are a whole tonne of negatives and not a whole lot of positive. Maybe a trip to have a legal consultation is in order to see the best way of going about this. I would consider staying in the house and trying to force them out, but not sure how to go about that and hopefully others will chime in. The house is in your name so hopefully that will help. 

Bee_kay's picture

Your options depends on whether you rent or own your house. If you rent, try having a conversation with your landlord to work out an agreement. If you own, you will probably have to go through the divorce process to get the house and keep your credit. I know a couple that are living as roommates until the house sells as part of their divorce agreement. Once the house sells, they will split the money and go their separate ways. 

If your DH has access to credit cards or bank accounts with your name on it, it would make sense to deny his access, so he doesn't run up bills in your name to then leave you responsible for the payments. 
 

Edit- if you own, you might want to think about trying to sell the house without your DS. I'm sure when he sees a realtor coming in to look at the house he'll understand you are serious. Regardless, you should contact a divorce attorney for legal advice. 

ndc's picture

See a lawyer asap. There's nothing to salvage of your marriage, so you need to figure out how to come out of it in the best position possible.

notarelative's picture

. he said he ain't going anywhere and this is his house, too. I checked that he is right he doesn't have to leave.

He may not have to leave just because you ask. He also does not have the legal right to force you to stay in this situation.

There is a legal way to extradite yourself from this situation. Go see a lawyer, who specializes in divorce, and find out your legal rights. Find out the best way to get the best possible outcome. There is a way out of this.

reedle2021's picture

Leave.  Your situation is very similar to the one I was in - I left at the end of May.  Same thing, 21 yo SS who refused to launch, daddy wouldn't make him.  SS always came first, no matter what.  SS and his daddy were like a married couple - this was an enmeshed, codependent relationship - it was gross.  SS was allowed to eat in his room, daddy made all his meals, did his laundry, allowed him to sit around, get high all day and neither husb or his son had jobs.  My husband had no time for me, never took me anywhere or made me feel special - it was all about his manchild.  I'm so glad I left that behind.  They will likely be evicted when the lease is up - I don't care.  Not my problem. 

Your post sounds like how I felt before I left my previous situation.  I was so angry, so resentful and the whole situation is unfair and gross.  I would recommend speaking to and retaining an attorney and start quietly planning your escape.  That's what I did. 

I feel your frustration and anger.  I do.  Please take care of yourself and get yourself to a better place in life.  Please keep us posted....we are here for you!  Smile

 

Survivingstephell's picture

Start renting out rooms to cover his part of the bills.  Squeeze him out.  Of course you only "rent" to people you trust.  Start making it uncomfortable for him to stay.  You name is on the deed.  You have some power.  Find out how much you have and use it.  

ESMOD's picture

You say the house is in your name.  Do you own the home?  Do you rent?  If you rent and he is not on the lease.. you could take steps to evict him.. it could take time.. but eventually maybe?  Or see about breaking your lease and moving out.. which would force that. maybe the landlord would allow you to get out?

OR.. if you own the house. AND he is not on the mortgage.. I don't know how you could not evict him.. but you would have to explain the legal side of things more..what you were told.

In the end.. if you remove yourself and your financial support.. they won't be able to maintain anyway right?

Harry's picture

Give them a legal 30 day notice to move out.  After 30 days get an eviction notice.  When eviction notice time is up they are trespassing.  Have the police deal with that.  Ie you are leaving either by yourself, or in handcuffs.

whyohwhyohwhy's picture

thank you everyone for taking the time to give good advice. i really appreciate it. i work all night shifts from home so I have to sleep all day. I just let him do what he wants for I don't have to be kept up all day with him fighting with me. I know, but I can't handle a stressful job and then fighting with him all day. i just don't have the energy I'm so worn down by them. 

If we fight he will not just go away and leave me alone like I continuously ask him to do. He chases me around each room in this house and in my face, I literally walk from room to room to get rid of him he just never stops following me into each room with one low blow after the other. When I finally relate because I'm being provoked he blames me for his actions. he will not just shut up and go away . This keeps me up all day with no sleep when I have to work all night. It's mentally exhausting Sad

Some of the low blows would be you act just like my bug fat slow ex-wife everything is about you, you, and you. I'm selfish, I'm blah blah blah, and the low blows just keep getting lower and lower and he will not back down or go away! That's why I just let him do what he wants I cannot deal with a stressful job and then wake up to that idiot. I want peace at any cost Sad

At least if i had a drivers license I could get in the car and go away when he starts but im stuck here :( 

 

whyohwhyohwhy's picture

sorry about the typos im tired and upset and he went to drive the mini wife somewhere at least I have 30 mins of peace 

Rags's picture

Time to initiate the extended legal campaign to get him out regardless of how long it takes.  Get the best lawyer in your market and go to war.

Never quit, never surrender, never give up, etc, etc, etc.....

Footage and audio of his physically intimidating behaviors combined with verbal abuse, etc... in the hands of a good lawyer should allow you to get him out and possibly send him on his way with a significant level of liability for his persistent abuse of you.

 

Stepdrama2020's picture

Pronto. Or have it uninsured. Make it so he cannot use it period.

Get a good lawyer . You have rights.

If he wont leave call the cops to intervene. It doesnt have to be physical for that to happen . You feel harrassed unsafe in YOUR home.

Or hire a hit man  LOL Only kidding on that.

Blessings