Why?

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

DH is really pushing this bonding thing between me and SheSloth. He needs to let it go that it just isn't happening!

Sure, he has been tougher on her since our little argument Friday night, but that isn't going to change the relationship between her and I. Example, yesterday SheSloth found out that we had Corpse Bride (Tim Burton) on DVD...or should I say she found out I had it! She wanted to watch it really bad, and I told her the DVD was locked up in my room because it is MY DVD, and she has a bad habit of taking things without asking (was sure to say this right in front of DH), and then they get lost or destroyed in her room. DH suggests that we sit down in the TV room together and watching as a "bonding experience"! Whatever! Told DH I was not interested.

Then today...SheSloth has been complaining about how nearly every weekend between now and the holidays she has to be at a band/marching competition. I already told DH that I'm booked up...won't be going to these functions. This weekend I have a health fair to be at to try to get clients, next Saturday is the wedding of a good friend of ours (which I had to remind DH he already RSVP'd to), and the weekend after that, I'm working on Saturday! The band director sends out the travel schedules today, and DH forwards it to my email! Why? I'm not going! I'm not dropping off SheSloth or picking her up! Why the heck do I care?

Oh, and while we were out and about without SheSloth the other day, DH tried to say that it would mean the world to SheSloth if she could come work out with me! Bull!! And, no! I train him, because I have an interest in keeping him alive and healthy...he is my husband, and I would like for him to be able to keep up with me after SheSloth is out of the house (because she will be out at 18 whether he likes it or not) and we have the ability to travel and the likes. My workout time is my workout time...I don't work out with anyone (not even DH...I train him...as if he hired me as a trainer...I don't work out with him). I'm not about to have SheSloth dragging around the gym somewhere on her stupid phone while I'm trying to workout, or taking up the class room to do her splits and stretches...acting like a dancer...when I have a routine I actually have to work on for my cardio dance class I teach! No...girl needs to stay out of my gym!

ItHasGottenBetter's picture

I had to use that on DSO this summer. He asked if I was going to SDs softball game bc we hadn't seen each other much with work and games/practices.

I asked him when do you go to Gsons soccer games with me. He went to 1 basketball game bc of the weather and he was worried about me driving.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Yeah...I always hear that I need to take interest in what she likes. DH rarely went to any of BD23's band performances, and until SheSloth started in band last year, he barely went to BS19's football games! Sad thing is, DH adopted my bios...so yeah, he was kinda expected to take an interest in their lives! "But her mother never shows up to anything!" Really, that isn't my problem, especially when SheSloth makes it clear that I'm not her mother in any form or fashion! She takes interest in respecting me, maybe I will take interest in her activities. Until then, I'm not going to go out of my way to make an appearance because I'm worried about SheSloth getting upset at me for not going and making her the center of my attention...because I really don't care!

SanityPlease's picture

Ugh.

DH tries to pull the whole... "but she would looooove to spend time with you..."

Please, this girl (SD13) could give a shit.

Keep her away from your livelihood... she does not belong there.

Tcandme's picture

My Sd is 29 lives in another state and DH still tries to convince me she misses me and I should communicate with her on FB or phone. No No No, I disengaged about 2 months ago because every time I posted something on FB especially if I tagged DH in it she always had a snarky cut down to me to the point other family members noticed it, plus she would post things that she thought would push my buttons, DH was adamant about me not unfriending her because "she's one of our kids" NO DH she's your sociopathic DD, I won't claim her!

FrackturedBradyBunch's picture

Why do they do this? Especially when the Skids either couldn't give a shit or hate us??

I will never understand why "bonding" and "love" are forced upon us.....My DH could give a fat rats arse about my BM...he has done the grand total of NOTHING for my BM for the last 10 or so years and yet I have driven, washed, cooked, patched, yelled, nursed all 3 of his. BUT, I do not like them and they do not like me, I am no longer attending, doing, thinking anything

Steppy MN2's picture

They can't give up some kind of fantasy they want to live. And of course, it's always on the SM to make the relationship work. Ugh!

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I did this a few years ago before the SDs were with us FT. SD19 was an athlete in HS and I would go to her indoor soccer games on weekends. I went to one football game where SD13 was cheering at age 9, before she quit. It was pathetic, no rythym watsoever.

These days I don't feel an ounce of guilt NOT going to something. I even skipped Christmas Eve at SIL's house last year because I needed a day away from the Skids!

Ugh.

~ Moon