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What do you do if teen won't go to school?

becarefulwhatuwish4's picture

She has successfully pissed both her BD and I off so much that we are finally removing her "privileges". The problem with giving her any type of punishment is that she will refuse to go to school or will run away. I know to call the police if she runs away and I know that the Parents are responsible for her actions, so what happens when BD goes to work at 6:30 and it's left to me to make her go to school. She is as big as I am and stronger so I can't physically force her to do anything. I don't want to be fined by the magistrate and I don't want that to escalate to her skipping repeatedly and having DH arrested for HER truancy and bad behavior.
What do I do? Do I call the police to have them escort her to school? Then call them again when she doesn't come home?
Is there a way that we can give her back to BM who deserves this headache since she created 85% of it before summer?

startingover2010's picture

i beleive it 110000000%. my exsd had dcf called on me cause she wanted to go to her moms and live. she told her school i beat her, in hopes they would send me to jaila nd her to her moms.

she also spread horrible rumors about me to all her friends and their parents. right before i left my ex, i was known as a monster in the town i live in and people didnt want their kids near me.

theres so much more too.

so i agree that her sd would blackmail her by skipping school. these skids are sometimes capable of doing things that are totally unreal.

Rags's picture

Time to sue mommy and daddy for defamation I think. Aren't parents responsible for the actions of their minor spawn? If she is an adult... sue her directly. Call an attorney and see what your options are.


becarefulwhatuwish4's picture

It's unfortunately a fact of my miserable life. I am terrified because I think it's going to happen tomorrow.
We took her phone and as far as I'm concerned she'll never see it again. We are going to restrict the computer usage to only school work - no contact with her friends.
This is going to push her over the edge and I'm afraid that because she has been so BLATANTLY disrespectful for absolutely no good reason, now that we are giving her a reason to be pissed off at us, she is going to do her best to make us pay for it.

StepChicka's picture

Talk to the school counselor. They should be an expert on how to combat this kind of rebellion. Did SD move or change schools recently? Sometimes that can make a kid really act up especially a teen. Perhaps look into a therapist as well. This sounds like more than just typical teenage angst. I'm only saying this because I went through it.

Rags's picture

How old is she? Forced emancipation is an option in the US. A friend of mine did it with his 16/17yo when she got out of hand and started skipping school. He not only forced emancipation he also had her put in to the alternative school for incorrigable kids for her last year. She is an incredibly smart kid and hated the alternative school so much she graduated a year early. She went on to graduate with her BS in 4yrs and has had a very successful career for the past 4-5yrs.

Not that she is not without her issues. She just married for the second time and she is only 25yrs old. She married her X when they were both 18. Interestingly she is entering the Sparent universe.

She was raised by my friend and his second wife. She and the StepMom butted heads regularly. At the second wedding a few weeks ago StepMom toasted her entry in the wonderful world of Step Parenting. My friend said that he nearly fell off of his chair when the toast started.

Good luck.

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

startingover2010's picture

yes, talk to the school. and is she in therapy? if not, do it. you need professionals on your side. if you dont, then she will do what she can to destroy u and your life.

been there, done that, its not pretty. pm me for details hun, i will let u know how bad it can get. please seek help now!!!

TheOtherMom's picture

I am all for the therapy thing. Something is going on.

My brother went through this phase. My Dad escorted him into the classroom and stayed with him every single day for a week. It embarrassed him so bad but he just skipped out the next week. Luckily my Dad took a vacation from work to fix it. In the end, my brother ran away from home. While he was gone, I guess someone tried to rape him and my brother had a serious wake up call. He realized life at home and school wasn't that bad after all. He was 14 at the time.

I guess what I am trying to get at is that teens are too immature to understand that things could be worse. That's why therapy, school counselor, are the best options.

Oh and if she is cutting school with her friends, transfer to another school.

becarefulwhatuwish4's picture

it's not a consistent skipping issue - its just plain rebellion. She doesn't like us trying to put rules on her and she is rebelling against every thing. She lost her phone and will lose the computer if she keeps going. She did get up and go to school to my surprise. I think the fact that she is in softball right now is the only reason she didn't jump off the deep end.
Let's hope for a bright and cheery end to this.

Rags's picture

If she is old and "mature" enough to quit school she is old enough to be on her own.

Emancipate her legally. A good friend of mine did it with his middle daughter when she was 16/17. It was the best thing he did for her. She nailed it once he pulled the net out from under her and has blossomed and engaged successfully in life as an adult. They are very close. She is now in her late 20s to early 30s. A degreed professional, mom, and doing very well. She does have two marriages under her belt though. One when she was 17/18 (no kids) and the second when she was in her mid 20s.