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We're another statistic

Reluctant_Stepmother's picture

Sadly, DH and I have split up. I ended it after SD's rude behaviour during her last visit in February. Now we are sorting out finances, selling the flat and sorting co-parenting issues concerning our DS2. I just couldn't take any more of SD16 and admit that I have been thinking of ending things between me and DH for a couple of years now. I am a lot younger than he is and I have my whole life ahead of me. I just want to be happy and raise my son in peace. I want to enjoy spending fun times together with DS while he still wants to hang out with me. DH can sort out his issues with his daughter on his own time. Even though we have joined the apparently 70%?? of couples for whom blended families don't work out (is this statistic true) I think it's for the best for all concerned. Four years of constant arguments have taken their toll. I'm moving with my son to the next town to be closer to work. DH will have to make an effort and visit us there (it's not far though). I'm placing DS in a new nursery too. Fingers crossed for his settling in period. It's strange that I keep thinking about how much I'll miss SS19. He's a good boy really and I don't think I'll see him again which is quite sad. I thought about sending him some sort of message but thought better of it. Not sure what to do but I wish him the best in life and everything. Clearly, there's a lot of healing that needs to go on now. Has anyone been through something similar? How did you get through this difficult time? 

stepmomnorth's picture

When I separated from my ex husband it was a hard period in my life but looking back it was also a period of growth. I was so much in this life with my husband that I stopped doing things that I enjoyed. When we separated a whole new life opened up. I had some free time with just myself and also time with just me and the kids. I took care of some legal things regarding the separation. But then I let loose and kind of embraced a new lifestyle. I danced around the house, ate whenever and whatever I wanted, cake for dinner!! Lol. I found some new hobbies, things my ex didn't like doing. I used it as a way to rediscover who I was as a person. Leaned on friends as required for support. I became more independent. Enjoy that time without bratty teenage step kid behavior! :) 

Stepdrama2020's picture

I was just catching up on your older blogs then this one.

It was inevitable . Your STBEXDH was not handling this marriage well. He let you be treated poorly by SD, he was cruel in what he said about you and DS coming second. No one should live in this environment.

I divorced my DH and his mini wife SD. I wont lie there were times where I second guessed myself. Write down all the cons of your relationship, so when you feel weak about it you read it. Remind yourself that life will be so much better.

Blessings to a better life.

hregal2011's picture

Your post gives me anxiety I won't lie.  Im hopeful that you and all the kids will be ok.  I can see how a SD can be just way too much as I have one of my own.  I wish you luck.