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Victoria Secret or diapers

Starla's picture

Hello,

DH & I are pondering ideas to correct an issue that is an ongoing thing with his 14 year old daughter. She does have Aspergers. This girl has been messing her pants all of her life. We have attempted every trick in the book we could possibly think of to put an end to that. Had her seen by her doctor to rule out any possible medical condition for her doing this & she was given a clean bill of health. Had her in counseling & she says that she just doesn't care.

My SD loves to go clothes shopping with me & has no interest in doing so with her birth parents. Her BM puts her into clothes that are much to small for her & her dad is out dated that way. I became fed up with her not caring & got tired of replacing her clothes due to her not caring. So her dad & I bought diapers & told her "when you are ready to care, let us know & we will discuss this from there." She put them on herself yes but we peeked in the garbage each day to see her progress. She quit messing in her pants (diapers) & said "I hate wearing diapers they feel weird!" We made the deal to go back to under ware if she would remain clean. This seemed to do the trick!

Since that time, she moved back to her BM's due to other massive issues. Now DH & I are suppose to have her over the summer. I hope it works out with her here because I want her with us. Anyways, SD is back to messing her pants & started getting her periods. It's a nightmare in that department & I feel helpless yet bad for her. Do we use the question "do you need to be in diapers?" & do so if she chooses to not care?? I too started thinking that maybe just maybe of taking a girls day out with her & go to Victoria Secrets. We could buy fitted bras for her which would make her feel so good & look into real panties for a woman in training. If she likes that enough, could that give her will to care? If she still does not care than it would be a long time before we try that again so it would be all her choice. What do you think?

Also if we which I'm thinking we are going to, try the Victoria Secret store..how many pairs of bras/panties do I get her? As a teenager once myself, I never got to do that so I don't have a clue where to start. I would guess 3 pairs each...

knucklehead's picture

I hope this works for you. Bummer she went back to BM Sad

I would opt for two bras and probably 5 pairs of underwear. I'd shop the PINK side of the store. A little less lacy and sexy, but still cute.
And cheaper. Smile
You can often get 5 for $25.

Good luck!

knucklehead's picture

Biggrin
I know, right?
My DD11 wears nothing but them, and some people act like it's the end of the world. (Um, grandma?)
As long as she's covered, I'm happy.

I had the joyous privilege of bathing suit shopping with her this weekend. She wears all junior sized clothing (I swear, they must have shrunk sizes or something!) and it was damn near impossible to find something that WASN'T a string bikini.

Jsmom's picture

I wouldn't spend the money at VS. I would go to Target...She is not responsible enough yet. She has to prove that with cheaper stuff....

Starla's picture

That is what I have been wondering too. Being she lives with her BM at this time, we have not been to the doctors with her recently. Her mother never tells us updates or when she will been seen next or who & where. We learn most of which through my SD & the BM only told my DH that she was diagnosed with Aspergers. We have been searching it online but a lot of which does not line up with us. I have not found Aspergers to make one physical so we are left to assume that there is more wrong with her.

I thought the idea of real panties may be the trick to make her feel good about herself & that she would want more of them. We know she feels fear of growing up yet do not know why. Thinking on the path of dealing with one thing at a time & in a positive manor if possible. Truth has it, we have been rewarded for putting her into diapers but that's just wrong I think.

Jsmom's picture

This is not something I have seen with Asperger's. Something else is wrong. Aspergers is high functioning and can understand this type of hygiene.