Typical Teenage Behavior or Something Else? Input Appreciated!
My SD has very unusual behaviors and I'm wondering if anyone has experienced these and has had a formal diagnosis by a health professional?
She is 13 and is miles behind her peers in the areas of social development, independence and self-sufficiency. She seems to be very anxious and unsure what to say in social situations, she cannot make eye contact, and when she does it turns into a full on uncomfortable stare. She has an extremely odd and gangly gait, a very odd sense of humor full of puns and jokes that don't make sense. She's not slightly interested in anything "normal" her peers are, has not shown the slightest bit of physical signs of hitting puberty. She is very thin for her age and height and ALWAYS wears a jacket or hoodie EVEN IN the heat of summer (with shorts) to cover her upper body. She never initiates a conversations and when you try to talk with her it's painstakingly uncomfortable. She lurks around the house quietly and isolates herself in her room almost 95% of the time she comes to visit her BD. She has very few interests, but they all involve some type of fantasy game on the computer, like Animal Jam or Minecraft. I've tried to engage with her on "girly" things and she couldn't be less interested. She wears the same clothes (even dirty) and it is a CHORE to get her to shower and wash her hair, basic hygiene stuff. She still sleeps with a stuffed animal and calls her parents mommy and daddy. It leads me to believe there is something underlying going on here and the Bio parents refuse to see a problem. I realize my hands are tied but am curious if these behaviors seem to fit a pattern anyone else has dealt with. At a loss here!! :jawdrop:
Has she been evaluated for a
Has she been evaluated for a developmental disability? I'd start there.
Funny you ask. She has not
Funny you ask. She has not to my knowledge. Her bio parents do not see anything unusual in her behavior. They see her as "unique" and "quirky" but I can assure you school kids don't and she will be teased. When I brought up the issue delicately to my DH he was defensive (understandably so) and refused to acknowledge she may need help. That was disheartening but what do you do? Nothing I can do really if he refuses to see a problem. BM has her head buried in the sand and does not know I have brought it up to her father.
Kids develop at different
Kids develop at different rates.
She could have Asperger's.
Odd, gangly, gait... she's a teenager and probably still growing; may even have growing pains.
Thin people tend to get cold more easily. A jacket covers the upper part of the torso and retains more heat to warm the body.
I'm 52 and my husband is 53. We have a teddy bear in the upper corner of our bed.
If your husband or his ex think their daughter needs to be evaluated for any multitude of things, they are the ones who need to take her to a doctor. She's not being abused or neglected? Well, you cannot care more than her parents.
I can see where you are
I can see where you are coming from. I realize children do develop at different rates I just feel something "isn't quite right" with her. The part about thin people getting cold more easily is so true, I just don't understand the WINTER coat in 99 degree heat (with the sleeves pushed up because clearly she is hot). That makes no logical sense to me. I tend to read too much into things sometimes so an outsider perspective helps me keep that in check. Thanks for your input.
Wow you are describing my ss,
Wow you are describing my ss, when he was that age. I don't think it is a biological condition, I think it is a result of video games. I'm telling you video games are making kids sooooo weird!! They have no social skills because they get social satisfaction sitting in a dark room and playing games for hours on end. They have no desire to look and smell nice because they have game characters that they have created and to an extent I think they believe that is them!! My SS wears jeans all the time, even in scorching hot weather. He never wants to eat, his video games will literally make him forget about his basic bodily needs (food, water, sleep). It's so ridiculous. He's not my son and arguing with his dad about what I think he should and shouldn't be doing is a losing battle. I say let her be that way, but your husband cannot expect you to have any sort of relationship with her unless he manages her odd behavior. Youve got nothing to work with. You can find zero common ground because she is so extremely eccentric. Just be kind, but brief. It is what it is and it's not your fault. If husband doesn't like it, then he can do something about it by re-directing his daughter to behave with a little more pride.