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Is there any hope?

Let_therebepeace's picture

I will try to make this brief. SS14 has been at BMs for his two week summer visit. He was not due to come home until Monday. BM decided to bring him today. We were not home but SS has access to the house for after school purposes so he was able to get in. She left him but without telling DH until she was go. SS had lost his cell phone while with her and with everyone in our home having cell phones we do not have a home phone. ALL that aside...DH and I have security cameras set up that SS was unaware of. SS went into mine and DHs bedroom, stole some of our...ummm adult things (not just for viewing pleasure, if you catch my drift) then came back into our room and put them back into the hiding place we had them as if never touched. Hence part of the reason for the security cams. If any of you have ever read my post over the years I have been on here, you know SS has and still is the source of all issues in our blended family. He will be 15 this year and with every passing year, his issues become ever more disgusting and infuriating to me. I just don't know if there is any hope for this one!

Let_therebepeace's picture

Basically nothing! He let SS know that we knew he did it. No consequence, which is par for the course with DH. It's so frustrating!

Let_therebepeace's picture

This is actually happening. We have the security company coming out on Friday to change the key pad on the garage. I have informed DH that SS is not trust worthy enough to be home alone anymore or have the new code. Also, I will be inquiring about a system that possibly sends a random code to our phones each time for entry into the home so that it's never the same.

CANYOUHELP's picture

No house is a simple fix for you....give him the toys he seems to enjoy after you take the key away, (no telling what he did with them, anyway), and go buy some new ones...

Let_therebepeace's picture

I don't think you understand...I have tried for 9 years to teach him "healthy vs unhealthy" life...he refuses healthy regardless of the situation. Although it's still a matter of disrespecting others property, wearing an older siblings clothing or reading a porn mag is very different, IMO, from using an actual toy and putting is back as if never touched. Thankfully DH and I had not opened that one yet and caught SS on camera doing this, because it rather disgusting to think about the situation if we hadn't had the cameras and had not known what SS did.

Let_therebepeace's picture

I do not have any hope at this point. DH did not discipline SS at all for this (normal - he never does unless I force the issue). However, we are having the codes changed, hoping for an "ever changing/random type code" for entry to the home that SS will not be given access to when he is alone. We have never had any of these types of issues with bios16 or SD16. None of them cope/deal well at all with SS - or with BM & DH's lack of interest in parenting, and that includes SD16, especially her. However, they are at an age they try to ignore his behavior. They are embarrassed by him. We are not a trashy lifestyle family, however the things SS does and says in public/at school makes it seem as if he is raised by one and the other children don't know how to answer their friends when they ask why SS14 acts the way he does. For that matter, neither do I!

grace8205's picture

I would have lost my sh@t! I don't like kids/skids in my bedroom but touching and taking personal stuff would put me over the edge.

You said skid needs access for after school reasons, I suggest a keyless deadbolt on the front door programmed with his own code for only his time at your house and change the code for when he goes back to Bm's house. Also buy a lock for the bedroom door and lock the bedroom door for when he is staying with you.

Skid use go into our bedroom and I guess snoop ( did not have video cameras) or take toiletries out of the connected master bathroom which were not for him. Once I found my expensive body lotion beside skid's bed with a ball of tissues, gross. I put a lock on our bedroom door and the problem was solved.

And yes, get new toys! Ewww!

Let_therebepeace's picture

LMAO this was a new toy...but yes, it went in the for those who thought I should give it to SS - I felt like that would be rewarding him for snooping in our bedroom and taking our things for his personal use - and returning it as if unused :sick: Ummm NO!

SS14 & SD 16 live with DH and I - BM occasionally has functional moments in life...we are currently in one of those, hence the two week stay SS just had with her. So, letting him into the house after school is required (I think Biggrin ).