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Stepdaughter 16

Stressed19's picture

I need help! My fiancee's daughter devided to move in with us in my home. I was never asked nor informed of this. My fiancee, his ex and the girl decided this! I was very upset! The mother is a lose, doesn't have her own place, so daughter enjoysthe liberties that come with home ownership vs. living with mom and other family members! The girl grew up with her mother in another state up to this point! Home in my name as I thought WE would be together....

Help!! Am I wrong to want her to go back with her mother at 18? She also acys as his lil wife! Very annoying.


hereiam's picture

I would question wanting to marry a man who did not discuss something like this with me, especially considering that it is YOUR house.

He has no business making this decision without asking for your input. None. Not to mention, his daughter and his ex.

Winterglow's picture

I think that I would tell both your bf and his daughter to leave. This is your home, you are (at very least) party to any decisions concerning it. Make it clear right now that you will not be bulldozed. If he wants to take care of his daughter then he can find himself another place to live.

Rags's picture

She needs to go back now.  BF needs to go with her.  You and your home are not theirs to take advantage of.

Harry's picture

Your great BF who's living in your home that you own.  Moved his DD into your home with out asking you.?   Think , maybe some people may think I am wrong. BUT. Just say NO.  Either DD goes, or BF and DD go together.  You must control your home and not let this loving person walk over you.  
If you allow this,  I can't imagine your future.  May BM will move in too. She has no place to live. 

Stressed19's picture

I guess he felt that I would be fine with it..... It is NOT a personable problem with the daughter. She does have her own mother, whuch she lived with her entire life!!! I have had many arguments and bf doesn't try to understand me. Is there somethung wrong with me wanting her to go back at 18? I feel that he is trying to make up for lost time. He couold've chosen to move and stsy in the same state near her when she was a baby, but he chose not to.. But now the daughter wants to stay.... Should she be given that choice?

hereiam's picture

It is not HER choice, it's a decision that needs to be made by ALL adults involved, which includes you, as it is your house.

Rags's picture

Nope.  It is not her choice or even your DH's choice.  The choice is entirely yours regardless of what DH, SD-16 or BM want.

Stressed19's picture

As I mentioned nothing peesonal with the daughter. I think more than anything resentment towards bf not taking me into account! She has been at school here and she loves it! She is also closer to her siblings (different bio mom). Mom is not financially stable, never really attended to her daughter or other biochildren! I have our 2 year old which is my priority!!!! I think my bf is being bery selfish and unappreciative...... He has never given me money, I am capable of paying for all my expenses! I knew he coukd not contribute much as he is currently going through financial hardships all due to seperation with a biomom #2 that is a complete nut job!!! But I sure as hell did not expect his daughter from out of state to want to live with us and leave her mom and her family... My bf sats, what am I suppose to tell my daughter??? I told him, THAT THIS IS MY HOUSE!!!!-!!-!! She has mom... Not to mention bfdoesnt want to ask her for child support bec she "has no money"..... But not my responsibility!!! He does help with mortgage and he paysall bills, fixed the house, he is hardworking man....... But I just can't let go the fact that he doesnt care how I feel!!! I want her gone all summer.. I am willing to compromise 2 years of college with summers gone!!!!! I don't want her to get to cozy and her to feel this is her home!!! She has that with her mom!!! 

SteppedOut's picture

Why are you willing to compromise 2 year of college?


You don't want her there, don't have her there.